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Original poster

To think that packed lunch containing a cold happy meal could be due to poverty?

466 replies

blubberball · 29/03/2017 09:55

I saw on the news the other day, a story about school packed lunches. At one school, they looked in a child's lunchbox, and found a cold happy meal. People have obviously been angered by that, and are accusing the parents of being lazy. The first thought that came to my mind was that they couldn't afford to waste the food from the day before. I know that the particular primary school they looked at is in a very poor area. I just felt sorry for them.

OP posts:
MrsMackenzo · 29/03/2017 10:53

It also depends on how good the head actually is at their job. I've worked with many who genuinely couldn't give less of a shit.

PoppyFleur · 29/03/2017 10:55

Excellent post Vandree a stark reminder that all may not be as it first seems.

If the parents had access to funds, a supermarket and a functioning kitchen then yes I think I would start to judge. However, we really don't know the circumstances, the cycle of poverty is soul crushing, as is the life of a parent caring for children with additional needs that refuses to eat. Who knows what these parents were dealing with on this particular day.

WelliesAndPyjamas · 29/03/2017 10:56

Since this is MN, let's have a simple diagram...

If some people, rich or poor or getting by, need to be taught the difference between luxuries and essentials, how about a tv or poster campaign?

😄

To think that packed lunch containing a cold happy meal could be due to poverty?
muttrat · 29/03/2017 11:01

If there's no kitchen etc etc then buy a cheese sandwich and an apple from tesco. Still cheaper than a burger and fries

hmcAsWas · 29/03/2017 11:01

Not read the thread.

Suspect it is more likely to be attributable to mental health issues (parental), alcoholism or other similar factor which means parents are not coping

5moreminutes · 29/03/2017 11:01

I'm pretty sure cheese and yogurts are not essentials wellies Confused nor is actually purchasing books if you can access a library...

mugglebumthesecond · 29/03/2017 11:02

It makes me laugh that the same people who are disgusted by the happy meal and hot dog cite ham as healthy. Really?

Maybe that poetical at child had ASD and would only eat a certain food and the headteacher has exploited this.

BeaderBird · 29/03/2017 11:02

MrsMackenzo, I love how you presume a differing opinion to your own MUST be down to a lack of personal experience. Having left home at 15, worked nights through school and a-levels - yes, I do know what poverty looks like. Study by candle light anyone?

Like I said, it's down to lazy, irresponsible, stupid parents.

muttrat · 29/03/2017 11:03

Cheese and yogurts are good sources of calcium and double up as pudding/treats

mugglebumthesecond · 29/03/2017 11:04

Some people would be disgusted that someone would feed their child cheap white bread, cheap processed ham and crisps for lunch?

5moreminutes · 29/03/2017 11:05

To play devil's advocate I wonder how a free school meal on a bad day compares to a Happy Meal? I'd guess there isn't much in it, though my knowledge of free school meals is only anecdotal ... Don't the kids often get very little in the way of veg and processed meat like sausages, and regular stogy, sweet sponge puddings?

5moreminutes · 29/03/2017 11:07

muttrat splendid though cheese and (some) yogurts may be, that doesn't qualify them as essentials - a child who eats neither through choice will not suffer at all as long as they get calcium from other sources (the milk on the list for example), therefore they are not essential.

Soon2bC · 29/03/2017 11:08

Cold left over mcdonalds is never appertising, however i once worked there and would take home my free lunch to eat the following day when i was off when i was really struggling.

there are too many possible explanations for the lunch that no one can judge except those who know the full circumstances,

DixieNormas · 29/03/2017 11:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NoCapes · 29/03/2017 11:09

I've been poor
And I mean, couldn't ford sanitary products (used rolled up toilet roll), had to choose between eating and heating and regularly didn't eat anything atall for days at a time so my kids could eat, kind of poor
At no point did I ever consider McDonalds - because I couldn't afford it! I could feed my kids for days for the price of a McDonalds meal
It's quite insulting to say these parents must be poor
They're clearly just neglectful and dgaf

EssentialHummus · 29/03/2017 11:09

I think the most likely explanation is a combination of poverty and a household in some chaos (for whatever reason - there are many).

But this needs to be viewed in a broader context, which we're all lacking - what does the child normally bring in? How is their attendance? Do they turn up in clean uniform most days? What's their family life like?

Just "child brings cold McD's for lunch" is very attention-grabbing, but without the context we really have no idea - could be anything from 'it was a treat from yesterday and they fell asleep' through 'we spent the night at A&E and this was the only thing on the way' through 'child's teenage sibling bought this for his lunch because parents were nowhere to be seen'.

WelliesAndPyjamas · 29/03/2017 11:12

5more

Cheese and yoghurt are great sources of calcium for growing children. And are not beyond a basic budget if you stick to value brand (real) cheddar and plain yoghurt. Far preferrable to spend money on a pot or plain yoghurt to have with a chopped up apple, than buy an unnecessary multipack of crisps.

I can see why you would think I was saying that books have to be bought, sorry about that, but naturally I mean libraries are included there. Perhaps I should have put reading instead to make it clearer. In contrast, holidays are not an essential (but I won't create a tangent to the thread by banging on about term time holidays 😄).

DixieNormas · 29/03/2017 11:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SpringerS · 29/03/2017 11:14

Is it really that disgusting and unsuitable for lunch? For background I'm a McDonald's hating hippy type, who cooks from scratch and grows quite a bit of my own fruit and veg. DS is mostly homeschooled but attends a forest/farm school a couple of afternoons a week. I'm far from a lazy parent. But one day before Christmas I took DS ice-skating in the morning and bought him a Happy Meal near the rink before taking him to school. It was a special treat for DS and having a fast food lunch made it possible for him to do both skating and school that day. If he had a Happy Meal day in day out it wouldn't be great but on occasion, I can't see that it was massively unsuitable. The carbs filled his tummy, there is surely some protein in the 'chicken' nuggets and the juice and fruit pouch would provide some vitamins.

Because he loves Happy Meals and rarely gets them DS ate it while it was warm. But up until very recently he's preferred to eat his food cold. He'd leave a nice meal get all congealed and cold and then eat it enthusiastically. Kids have unrefined palates, odd things they are rigid about along with an occasional desire to experiment so can be actually be quite enthusiastic about eating things we'd consider disgusting. So as disgusting as a cold Happy Meal might seem, the child might have been really looking forward to it. Maybe it was a rare treat that the child didn't eat the day before but wanted to take to school the next day? If the child constantly has leftovers of food with limited nutritional value then yes, there may be a problem that needs addressing. But with the information we have, not knowing that this is part of a pattern or a one off 'treat' then we can't assume that this is neglect or even poverty. What is pretty disgraceful is that it was publicised for the world to judge.

FiaMarrow · 29/03/2017 11:14

There's one day on the menu at DD's school where the "veg" is baked beans and the "carb" is spaghetti hoops. So yes, school dinners aren't always such a balanced option!

I won't call these parents lazy and irresponsible though - I don't know their situation. Their own parents may have been negligent and so it's become a cycle. Education on nutrition needs to happen at school and at home when we're still young enough for it to sink in.

noeffingidea · 29/03/2017 11:18

I'm another poster who has been poor, not had money for the key meter, had to choose between money for food and money for soap powder, etc etc. Been there, worn the t-shirt.
It's lazy neglectful parenting. It always amazes me how many people on a parenting forum bend over backwards to find reasons why people can't make the effort to provide the minimum standard of care for their children.

AlexanderHamilton · 29/03/2017 11:18

I've sent ds to school today with cold popcorn chicken for his lunch. Its inside a wrap but I very much doubt he will eat the wrap and will pick out the chicken.

It is popcorn chicken I cooked myself from frozen but it has taken a couple of years to get him to the stage where he will eat brands other than KFC.

I figure that its better to send him with that as it is at least a source of protein than a lunchbox full of carbohydrates.

5moreminutes · 29/03/2017 11:19

Wellies yes cheese and yogurt are sources of calcium, but lots of yogurts are loaded with sugar or artificial sweetners...

I'm not disputing that cheese and (most) yogurts are generally fairly reasonable things for children to eat :o and better than crisps etc. I'm just saying they are not "essential" because not eating cheese (one of my kids won't touch it) and yogurts (which admittedly all my kids would happily eat by the dozen...) will not cause any problem at all as long as the child has other adequate sources of calcium.

In fact bread is also not essential - the Japanese do very well without eating bread at all/ often.

Its a tangent, so I think I'll stop now :o I'm just saying that whilst agreeing that take aways are in no way essential, neither is everything you have listed as being essential! A genuine list of essentials has to be less specific (which is why it is then open to interpretation and misunderstanding of course).

PinkFlamingo545 · 29/03/2017 11:20

I don't think it is down to poverty - a happy meal costs more than a loaf of bread and a packet of ham, which would make sandwiches for a whole week

I don't understand this and struggle to understand the reasons but we will never know

Maybe the kid is a nightmare are mealtimes and all they will eat is a happy meal?

Vandree · 29/03/2017 11:23

If there's no kitchen etc etc then buy a cheese sandwich and an apple from tesco. Still cheaper than a burger and fries

^ not sure how to bold another poster

How would they get to Tesco? Not everyone is lucky enough to live near a shop like that. In the case of my SIL, she was living in a sh*te hotel off O'Connell St in Dublin. So she would go out the door of the hotel and look left and right, all fast food restaurants and maybe a newsagents. No money in her pocket but a bus pass and a voucher for mcdonalds. DN wasn't getting free lunches yet. So she spent her voucher on breakfast for her child and had nothing herself so her child had a lunch. Then got straight on a 30 minute bus journey with a special needs infant and child to get dn to school. Hung around the school until dc was off at 2, then back on the bus to the city centre but no money in the pocket so hung around Penneys looking at clothes until the hotel let them in. Again a voucher for a meal in a fast food chain and sat in a tiny hotel room (really a hostel ) until the morning to do it again. She could have walked to an Aldi near the school but with no money she would have to try steal food off the shelves so had to wait until benefits were paid but then she had a choice of eating the free food on the vouchers or buying formula, nappies or shoes for her child. I don't think people are aware how relentless poverty can be. She was so ashamed no one but her own immediate family knew where they were staying, not even dn's father. She had to follow all the rules so she could finally get a house and full benefits and support for her and her children.

Until you are in that position dont judge. We had terrible months where we had €10 to feed a family of 5 for a week, and do you know how I managed it? Because I had a lidl around the corner, a fridge/freezer, gas, electricity and a cooker. I knew how to shop and how to prepared relatively healthy food for us all. I also had a store cupboard of tins and spices. We knew it wasn't forever and we had the ability to earn money. Thats not poverty, thats lucky.