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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that packed lunch containing a cold happy meal could be due to poverty?

466 replies

blubberball · 29/03/2017 09:55

I saw on the news the other day, a story about school packed lunches. At one school, they looked in a child's lunchbox, and found a cold happy meal. People have obviously been angered by that, and are accusing the parents of being lazy. The first thought that came to my mind was that they couldn't afford to waste the food from the day before. I know that the particular primary school they looked at is in a very poor area. I just felt sorry for them.

OP posts:
Gowgirl · 29/03/2017 10:26

maybe the bread went mouldy

Worse if you don't notice till after the school run when you go to make toast, having made sandwiches with said bread Grin

Disclaimer I know a few people who have done this....

MerryMarigold · 29/03/2017 10:27

Maybe they hadn't realised the bread was mouldy till they went to use it this morning.

Yup, it happens. Then we boil some pasta with cheese on it, and whatever else is lying around.

However, I don't think a happy meal is much worse than a child in dc school who has an oversized bag of crisps for lunch every day. That's it. A massive bag of crisps.

unlimiteddilutingjuice · 29/03/2017 10:27

"Washing can wait. It is perfectly possible to buy cheap but simple unprocessed food."

Not really, Muttrat. I don't think you can keep parental rights into the long term if you aren't sending the kids to school in clean, warm clothes. It's an absolute basic.

That's what poverty is: when you can't reliably manage all the basics.

MrsMackenzo · 29/03/2017 10:28

muttrat - I raised this point earlier but what if the parents aren't just (or even necessarily) poor but neglectful? I've come across many young people in my career who are dirt poor yet have the most loving, caring parents I've seen. I've also witnessed others who are well-off and have parents that just don't give a shit.

BeaderBird · 29/03/2017 10:28

I think anyone who thinks that 'it could be down to poverty' is part of the problem. It's down to parents being lazy, irresponsible and stupidz

BeaderBird · 29/03/2017 10:28

*stupid.

RoboticSealpup · 29/03/2017 10:28

What's next, a news item about children whose parents put them in dirty clothes, two sizes too small, so we can all sit in our middle class bubble and judge how wrong this is, and tell them where they're going wrong, with no regard for their social and economic circumstances?

Some people are poor. It sucks. They know it sucks, pointing it out doesn't really help.

muttrat · 29/03/2017 10:29

yes you can cope without washing powder for a week. It is perfectly possible. Its horrible, and I wouldn't recommend it. but it is doable with soap! The post was quoting two scoops of powder for two weeks. I could do that.

MrsJayy · 29/03/2017 10:29

I know what it is like to be poor like paying the rent and feeding us poor I am certainly not a snob and i understand chaotic lifestyles where children suffer I am fed up of reading it could be this or that as excuses for neglecting children.

MrsTwix · 29/03/2017 10:29

I'm sorry Gowgirl but I do think free school meals are there for a reason. It shouldn't be shameful to feed your child. I'm sorry you felt that way.

You are also loosing other funding for your children's school if you don't claim the free meals. They get extra funding for extra teachers or other resources based on the number of free school meal children.

Schools are facing cuts at the moment and they need every penny.
Please claim the meals if you are entitled to. Think of it as an investment in your child. They can get a better education and pay it forward.

MrsMackenzo · 29/03/2017 10:29

I think anyone who thinks that 'it could be down to poverty' is part of the problem. It's down to parents being lazy, irresponsible and stupidz

That is incredibly judgemental. I'm assuming by the tone of your comment you have been in a similar situation and know exactly what it is like?

ZackyVengeance · 29/03/2017 10:30

a cold hot dog in a bun is a disgusting lunch

only if you don't like it

SaucyJack · 29/03/2017 10:30

"Or of course could have been put up in a B&B by the council as emergency accommodation and have no kitchen to prepare food in."

Even so, there would still need to be more complex issues going on for the family than just poverty for them to think that a cold Happy Meal was the best way to spend £2.50 for a packed lunch.

You can buy prepackaged cheese sandwiches for a £1 and individual pieces of fruit in many supermarkets. It's not just about money.

TBH the worst lunches I've heard about have been provided by neurotic parents of junk-addicted, fussy eaters who've cunningly managed to convince their parents that they will die immediately if they don't get a chocolate croissant instead of the traditional savoury sandwich.

Vagndidit · 29/03/2017 10:30

Who says this was a Happy Meal? All I see is a hamburger and small fries which are both value menu items that are a lot less than a Happy Meal. If a family was low on groceries at home and in a hurry, I could see something like this being thrown together.

What is any different between a cold hotdog and a cold sausage roll or mini cocktail sausages that are a party of most children's party menus, no?

Perhaps instead of shaming the family the school could have found a way to offer the child a hot dinner if they were so bothered by its lack of nutrition.

muttrat · 29/03/2017 10:30

"I think anyone who thinks that 'it could be down to poverty' is part of the problem. It's down to parents being lazy, irresponsible and stupidz"

I am afraid I agree.

user1489226029 · 29/03/2017 10:31

I'm the first one to admit when I saw this my immediate reaction was why??? However there could be any number of reasons. Who are we to judge???? Could the school not have a talk with family, offer support instead ofthis being ridiculed by people and plastered all over the internet. What a judgemental lot we are. There is always a bigger picture.

muttrat · 29/03/2017 10:31

Perhaps instead of shaming the family the school could have found a way to offer the child a hot dinner if they were so bothered by its lack of nutrition.

WHY SHOULD THEY?!!

This is exactly what I mean. It isnt the schools JOB to do this!

MrsJayy · 29/03/2017 10:31

Dont all 4 to 7year olds get fsm anyway well in England and scotland do

Gowgirl · 29/03/2017 10:32

mrstwix happily those times have passed but I was quite happy to skip a meal or two in order to afford packed lunch stuff! I was luckier than most as I knew how to cook from scratch and how to budget, not fun and some weeks it just didn't stretch but others are not so lucky.

Porpoiselife · 29/03/2017 10:32

What's next, a news item about children whose parents put them in dirty clothes, two sizes too small,

Although not ideal obviously, this would not affect the childs health like a diet of happy meals would.

Dirty clothes which are too small would be signalling extreme poverty or neglect. Giving your kid a happy meal for their lunch signals extreme laziness and ignorance

MrsJayy · 29/03/2017 10:34

The happy meal was on a list of terrible packed lunches think crisps and biscuits were on the list too

MrsMackenzo · 29/03/2017 10:34

Perhaps instead of shaming the family the school could have found a way to offer the child a hot dinner if they were so bothered by its lack of nutrition.

*WHY SHOULD THEY?!!

This is exactly what I mean. It isnt the schools JOB to do this!*

Speaking as a teacher here, not a mum.

It is the school's job to do this. They have a duty of care over the child - look up 'loco parentis'. If a parent cannot adequately provide food for their child, during school hours, the school should find a solution.

5moreminutes · 29/03/2017 10:35

I haven't seen the story, so maybe you all know something I don't

But is it not beyond the realms of possibility that the child had been promised the rare treat of a Happy Meal on the way home from a long day out/ visiting a relative but fell fast asleep on the way home and was put straight to bed, and asked to take the Happy Meal (stored over night in the fridge) for school lunch?

Children can be odd body in terms of what they will eat and some kids would consider this a treat even cold partly because it is unusual.

muttrat

if the kid will eat it what's the problem.

the problem is I am sick of paying huge amounts of tax so that the NHS can sort out peoples obesity and ill health

I am basically paying for that parents child to have a lifetime of medical support, all because the parents can't be bothered to feed their kid properly.

Noone can tell me that sets up children for a lifetime of healthy eating.

that of course is an absolutely massive leap - one Happy Meal does not a lifetime of obesity cause.

You would have to know whether the child got one Happy Meal a day/week or one per six months year to make this massive judgement, and as long as it has been stored in the fridge there is no nutritional difference between eating it in the car fresh from the drive in or eating it cold the next day.

Of course the parents might be lazy and neglectful or very poor or ignorant. There is absolutely no way of knowing that based on one packed lunch in isolation though.

No food at all would be even worse - if a child forgot their packed lunch that day what would you think?

Disclaimer - my kids have never taken cold fast food as a packed lunch, however I can imagine one of them wanting to if he'd fallen asleep on a long drive home and missed out on a rare treat he'd been promised, as long drives are the only time the kids get Burger King type meals (there are no burger chains within at least a 20 minute drive of where we live).

MrsMackenzo · 29/03/2017 10:35

Perhaps instead of shaming the family the school could have found a way to offer the child a hot dinner if they were so bothered by its lack of nutrition.

WHY SHOULD THEY?!!

This is exactly what I mean. It isnt the schools JOB to do this!

Speaking as a teacher here, not a mum.

It is the school's job to do this. They have a duty of care over the child - look up 'loco parentis'. If a parent cannot adequately provide food for their child, during school hours, the school should find a solution.

MrsMackenzo · 29/03/2017 10:35

Oops, double post! Blush