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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that packed lunch containing a cold happy meal could be due to poverty?

466 replies

blubberball · 29/03/2017 09:55

I saw on the news the other day, a story about school packed lunches. At one school, they looked in a child's lunchbox, and found a cold happy meal. People have obviously been angered by that, and are accusing the parents of being lazy. The first thought that came to my mind was that they couldn't afford to waste the food from the day before. I know that the particular primary school they looked at is in a very poor area. I just felt sorry for them.

OP posts:
Lakegeneva40 · 30/03/2017 14:14

O and as a child on fsm in the 80's I can truly say they were crap. It was all cash cafeteria burgers hot dogs and chips. If I wanted veg baked beans was normally the only choice. If I had beans the only food with it I could have afforded with my meal ticket was spam fritters and chips.
When I moved schools at least they did a proper hot meal with potatoes and veg for the meal ticket even if choice was limited.

OreoDream · 30/03/2017 14:31

Or maybe, just maybe, one single meal isn't enough data to suggest anything whatsoever about habits, circumstances, family makeup, living conditions, or anything else. Maybe.

Yes!

Lakegeneva40 · 30/03/2017 15:05

I also sent same Dd in with a subway one day. Extremely fussy eater and I had run out of the right rolls.

Smiler2013 · 30/03/2017 17:31

Maybe the child asked for a burger to take for lunch?

poppy990 · 30/03/2017 17:37

Families who earn under a certain amount are entitled to free school meals

Sparklyglitter · 30/03/2017 17:37

You can get a loaf of bread for about 50p so even buying a Happy Meal (let alone serving cold yuck!) would be expensive!

graciestocksfield · 30/03/2017 17:40

i as Peter Kay would say 'have you got owt moist??!

Ha! Excellent post, baker.

trelawney59 · 30/03/2017 17:51

Have you ever seen a child with autistic spectrum disorder - some of these young people are very self restrictive regarding what they will eat - one young person I knew only ate crisps, custard creams and hash browns. The child was over 6ft as a teenager. Parents were both doctors. They'd tried everything.
Best not to judge others behaviours or attitudes. The majority of parents will try to do their best but a multiplicity of factors can be at play with the individuals concerned regarding the Happy Meal. Any school worth their salt would monitor this situation discreetly and support the family if necessary.

Havanaclub · 30/03/2017 17:59

I am of course holier than thou. ✌️

This place is unreal for Judgy responses.

I do understand that kids will not die from a food choice. Neither will they starve.

Sometimes it seems to me that judging others is the raisin d'etre for your own shortcomings now and then. 😳 Discuss lol

CrowyMcCrowFace · 30/03/2017 18:10

Actually, my dd2 & her bff both attended school today with a cold takeaway wrap of chicken Shwarma today.

Bff was at my house, her mum was hurrying home from work & grabbed a sandwich & fries from local Shwarma takeaway for each girl. Texted me to let me know - I didn't see text as was busy dishing them both up pasta & salad.

So we both laughed & said well at least that's tomorrow's lunch sorted, & sent them in with that, fruit etc.

Happy Meal is a cold sandwich/nuggets with slightly manky meat, so not really that different.

Obviously, again, cold chips pretty grim (binned those) & one wouldn't make a habit of it, but I'd still be more Confused at a packet of biscuits & a sugary yoghurt, say, than a burger or nuggets.

damewithaname · 30/03/2017 18:22

Does it matter? Either way the child did not go hungry? People focusing on petty stuff nowadays. Kids eat a sweet, it's wrong. Kids eat a happy meal, it's wrong. Parents smack their kids, it's wrong. Parents don't discipline their kids, it's wrong. Please do not worry about what other parents are doing or not doing. Stop parenting on what "social media" deems correct. So they had a left over burger...deary me.

dianna79 · 30/03/2017 18:29

Absolute devil's advocate here as it is not something I would do (I would be trying any other alternative) but my toddler is incredibly food phobic (coeliac disease manifested in a big way at 18 months) he loses huge amounts of weight when he is at his worst and refuses all but about three foods, if the only thing I could get him to eat in these phases was a child hamburger and fries I think I would have to do it...

Watching a child starve themselves because they are afraid food will hurt them is agony!!

NeedsAsockamnesty · 30/03/2017 18:31

The vast maj of people don't make their hot dogs from their own free range pigs rooting round their garden

Hot dogs sold in shops are full of shite and a world away from a free range butchers quality sausage

My comment the one directly above yours was directed at the person who made a pa comment to the poster who asked what the issue with a hot dog was.

To lots and lots of people who wouldn't even contemplate buying frankfurters or canned hot dogs a hot dog is just a normal sausage in a bun

Havanaclub · 30/03/2017 18:33

^^Dame. I'm with you.

But it's a competition now to be the best parent on the planet.

The poor kids don't know what's going on! Probably starving.

Sara107 · 30/03/2017 18:36

People are very quick to judge. It may well be lazy or ignorant parenting. It could also be somebody at the end of their tether for some reason, who considered it better to send the child with something rather than nothing. Maybe they haven't been keeping up with the shopping because there's been a crisis in the family or something. And it could well be poverty. Yes, you can buy apples, carrots, bread etc for the same price as a happy meal. But consider that your financial problems are so bad that you don't have any cooking facilities ( read Jack Monroe on this, no money to pay for electricity, living in a flat with no cooker and you can't buy one, you pawned all your saucepans because you had nothing left to raise cash for food). So you buy happy meals for dinner and send the left overs in for lunch. Actually being able to budget, to buy healthy food and prepare it requires some investment and if you are living absolutely hand to mouth you won't even be able to make that investment.

Lakegeneva40 · 30/03/2017 18:37

Poppy if you work and claim wtc you are not entitled to fsm.

damewithaname · 30/03/2017 18:41

Where im from it's common to have a day of the week whereby your child brings and extra meal to school to share. Reason for this is because some kids aren't getting the best nutrition and some kids are getting it all. So by having a "share" day all children get to have a bit of both worlds and indirectly it's at least one nutritious meal for those who cannot afford the more nutrious foods.

Octopus37 · 30/03/2017 18:55

Well said damewithaname. Most people have bigger fish to fry. My Dad (he is nearly 78 and has cheated death three times) told me the other day that he ate chips for his lunch every day for 5 years when he was at Grammer School. He obviously has a good constitution. Also a lot of people would argue (my DH included, I joke that he eats out of bins and it is not entirely untrue), that it is wrong to waste food. You can never win.

MrsHathaway · 30/03/2017 18:58

Where im from it's common to have a day of the week whereby your child brings and extra meal to school to share. Reason for this is because some kids aren't getting the best nutrition and some kids are getting it all. So by having a "share" day all children get to have a bit of both worlds and indirectly it's at least one nutritious meal for those who cannot afford the more nutrious foods.

Am sniffing weepily at this.

I can only imagine the response in some quarters. "It's not my job to feed them" etc.

NeedsAsockamnesty · 30/03/2017 18:59

Is a bread roll with a cold burger in it really that much worse that two slices of bread with a a few slices of crappy ham?

People talk about salt in the stuff they disapprove of and in the next breath say have a cheese sandwich, it makes no sense

Angelreid14 · 30/03/2017 19:03

It makes some people feel better to judge other people's choices without knowing the facts..just be thankful your life is not that bad. For the person moaning about paying tax to support the hypothetical obesity issues of a child, there is a tree out there providing you with oxygen for free that deserves an apology.

Angelreid14 · 30/03/2017 19:05

Also has it crossed the mind of anyone that child may have put that food in the lunch box by themselves?

Daydream007 · 30/03/2017 19:11

Ignorance or laziness!

NeedsAsockamnesty · 30/03/2017 19:14

Ignorance or laziness!

Cold meat in a roll

damewithaname · 30/03/2017 19:15

MrsHathaway I'm pretty sure some may have an issue with it but everyone contributes because it's been made part of the class rule. I think it would be a huge success worldwide. Imagine all those less fortunate children having at least one meal a week that provided them with all the nutrition needs. As parents, we need to be the people who change our mindsets to teach these things to our children.