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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think that packed lunch containing a cold happy meal could be due to poverty?

466 replies

blubberball · 29/03/2017 09:55

I saw on the news the other day, a story about school packed lunches. At one school, they looked in a child's lunchbox, and found a cold happy meal. People have obviously been angered by that, and are accusing the parents of being lazy. The first thought that came to my mind was that they couldn't afford to waste the food from the day before. I know that the particular primary school they looked at is in a very poor area. I just felt sorry for them.

OP posts:
MrsHathaway · 29/03/2017 21:27

How much spoon feeding do you want?

Wink I'm refraining from making an obvious joke.

It's the Happy Meal that's made the headlines, but there are many equally crap lunchboxes which aren't as obviously gasp-inducing. The thread wasn't started to say "a happy meal is an ok lunch" but to say "the reason a happy meal got into a packed lunch might have something to do with poverty". How anyone can argue against that - that it might, not that it must - baffles me.

GreenGinger2 · 29/03/2017 21:28

I can't.

If there is zero food in the house and money is tight,you don't go to McDonalds and spend best part of £20 for a family of 4 on one meal.

MrsHathaway · 29/03/2017 21:30

I don't; you don't. Doesn't mean nobody does.

I put chocolate biscuits and other treats in the food bank. Because sometimes there has to be a little light at the end of the tunnel.

GreenGinger2 · 29/03/2017 21:33

That doesn't excuse frittering money on eating out at McDonald's when money is so tight you are unable to have a bag of Savers bread,Savers apples,Savers yogurts in the house. Poverty has zilch to do with it,laziness however does.

It's not ok and the head was right to point that out.

thebakerwithboobs · 29/03/2017 21:39

I only worked through about half of the comments on this thread if I'm honest. I'm a head teacher, and in my experience the correlation between low income and a lack of knowledge about nutrition for children is as weak as it can be. This case has taken the headlines because it's so unusual (although I've read plenty of threads on here about children who will only eat chicken nuggets and how to combat this....perhaps on this day, this parent was simply at the end of their tether and wanted to put something in that their food refusing, perhaps autistic, perhaps anxious, perhaps a million other things, child would eat. Who knows?) but in general, the number of parents who do not want to feed their children well is minimal. That includes the poor parents, the parents without an education, the parents who have little regard for education or their own health... because the overwhelming majority of parents love their children. Their home may not be the same as your home. Their standards may not be the same as your standards. Their ideas may not be the same as your ideas. Does that make your home, standards, ideas better? No, it simply makes them different.

Packed lunches and the rules surrounding them cause no end of headaches. For example, I know many schools who have banned chocolate. However, Kellogg's Winders are generally allowed in my experience. A fun sized Dairy Milk has a lower glycaemic index than a Winder which is pure sugar that will not only raise blood sugars and cause a crash but will also merrily stick in teeth all afternoon. We have multiple children who bring this 'healthy' snack to school for break and then have another in their lunch box. There is a school quite close by who banned crisps, but vegetable crisps are allowed as they are vegetables? (I know. I reiterate-not our school!) The same if not higher, generally, in salt and fat than your common or garden pack of Tesco's own. Squash is banned in some schools which does, inevitably, lead to children not drinking all day if left to choose, rather than drinking a sugar free squash to hydrate them. The lists are endless (best not to start me on Smoothies....)

Our rule is simply that the packed lunch that is brought in is 'nut free and balanced.' The children all have the chance to attend our cooking club and packed lunches and picnics are always on the list, with a budget lower than a school dinner and a fact sheet to take home.

I am not saying a Happy Meal is balanced. But neither is a lunch box containing three bits of fruit and a smoothie, or with only a piece of wholemeal bread with marmite and some wasabi peas or a dry pitta with roast chicken and nothing accompanying it (as Peter Kay would say 'have you got owt moist??!) yet I have seen all of these lunches as I have eaten my own lunch with the children this term. I also see leftovers of last night's dinner (often makes me v jealous), bits of cold barbecue in the summer and so on. In general, if a child has a lunch, they have a parent who is trying, who cares about their welfare, who wants them to eat and be nourished. We help to educate all families through a number of activities but the one thing that I wish everyone would embrace is that parenthood is a most wonderful challenge, but it is not a competition.

I'll stop being a sanctimonious twat now and get back to catching up Masterchef.

PortiaCastis · 29/03/2017 21:40

Assumption.
Nobody knows the financial status of the Parents so stop speculating

ThreeDovesAndSomePinkChampagne · 29/03/2017 22:20

Or maybe one of the parent's works at McDonalds and was able to take food home as a perk. I worked in a pizza place as a student, and while the pay was ok not great, the fact we got fed every shift and were able to take home leftovers at the end of the night definitely made things easier. Maybe someone just started work at McDonalds and that was the way they bridged the gap to first payday. My point is that we don't know.

chitofftheshovel · 29/03/2017 22:39

the baker - very well said, and I applaud your stance as a head teacher. We are all trying. You sound understanding despite being under the threat of governmental guidelines etc.

AlexanderHamilton · 29/03/2017 22:57

I want thebaker as my child's headteacher.

LineysRun · 29/03/2017 23:10

I want thebaker to rule the world

fernanie · 29/03/2017 23:58

thebaker This is why they made you HT 👌

Ellisandra · 30/03/2017 00:03

Bloody well said thebaker

hellokittymania · 30/03/2017 04:18

It may not just be money, a lot of parents have to work the graveyard shift or extra shift so may not be available to make a packed lunch if that makes sense.

GoldilocksAndTheThreePears · 30/03/2017 05:39

This makes me wonder if one day at lunchtime a busy working parent, who dropped DC at school and rushed strait to work, opened the bag they'd shoved in the fridge at lunch and thought 'crap..... I was really looking forward to that burger, now I'm stuck with this boring quinoa superfood blueberry anti-oxidant melange with a courgette and guava compote that I'd made for little Tarquin'.

Or maybe one day a school headteacher was trying to really push home a healthy eating message and thought 'what's the worst school lunch I can think of, to really drive my message home'.

Or maybe a family suffered a bereavement or huge upheaval and for a brief period providing the very best lunch took a backseat.

Or a parent was raised on this food and it's all they know to get for their own child every single day.

Or maybe a catastrophic earthquake hit a small town which happened to be unreported but managed to flatten every single supermarket, shop, cafe, restaurant and vending machine in the area and McDonalds was literally the only place to procure food. Also the earthquake destroyed all the ovens and fridges in the area.

Or maybe, just maybe, one single meal isn't enough data to suggest anything whatsoever about habits, circumstances, family makeup, living conditions, or anything else. Maybe.

5moreminutes · 30/03/2017 06:04

Flowers thebaker - that's the kind of headteacher you want, not one trying to make themselves look authoritative by shaming parents (and by extension specific children) in the school newsletter.

Middleagedmumoftwo · 30/03/2017 06:35

The idea that junk food is cheaper than healthy food is a myth. You can get an lot of fruit and veg/cheaper cuts of meat to make soup/casserole type meals for the same price as a family eating a meal at McDonald's. Yes, it may take a bit longer, and you may have to look up some recipes online and put a bit of effort in, but that's a different argument.

honeylulu · 30/03/2017 06:41

Haven't read full thread but a child at my son's nursery used to arrive every morning with a McDonald's breakfast in a bag because, his mum explained, "he doesn't like anything you have here". (There was a choice of cereal, toast, crumpets, scrambled eggs, cold sliced meat, yoghurt, fresh fruit ... but apparently he would rather go without unless it was McDonald's.)

JonesyAndTheSalad · 30/03/2017 06:47

Honey you really should have read the thread.

TitsalinaBumSquash · 30/03/2017 06:54

I have in the past when ordering pizza for me and DH been offered a BOGOF so have opted for a large veggie pizza as the freebie and then wrapped the slices and bunged them in then freezer for lunch boxes.

Obviously they'd have a slice with some fruit and a yoghurt or something but still, it's effectively is a cold takeaway in a child's lunch box.... I wonder how much they judged me?

TitsalinaBumSquash · 30/03/2017 06:57

You also can't turn up with money and ask for a school lunch for all those people saying it's cheaper, ours have to be ordered in 2 weeks in advance, online and paid for in advance.

Shiraznowplease · 30/03/2017 06:57

I don't in anyway agree with cold McDonald's as a lunch and have never given it, however many people with'pots of salad' and pasta salads aren't factoring in fussy eaters. One dc will eat a sandwich, fruit, yoghurt and hm cake etc whereas my other wouldn't touch salad, cold pasta, most fruits (will only eat bananas and then not always). I have tried paying for school lunches which he wouldn't eat so he is a packed lunch with things like mini sausages/slice of pizza/chicken drumstick. When he gets home he eats a healthy home cooked meal (last night roast chicken dinner with peas, carrots and a minuscule amount of broccoli) so I am while I am neither poor/feckless/obese my child's lunchbox isn't what I would like yo give but what he will eat. He plays lots of sports and he needs energy (tennis/cricket/rugby/football/taekwondo)

Shiraznowplease · 30/03/2017 06:59

Meant to say mini sausages plus things or pizza plus things or chicken drumsticks plus things

ememem84 · 30/03/2017 06:59

Did the happy meal happen every day or was this a one off?

When I was at school (years ago) the lunch box police were there. My mum was told my lunch wasn't healthy - leftover chicken nuggets some cucumber and sugar snaps. Chicken nuggets were bad apparently and my lunch had too much sugar (because of the sugar snaps).

stonecircle · 30/03/2017 07:47

Not condoning the happy meal - though certainly not slating the parents without knowing the reasons. The holier than thou attitude by some posters on here is awful.

I agree with Shiraz about some kids being picky eaters. I snorted with laughter at the poster who suggested whizzing up pasta and tomato sauce if there was no bread in the house. My picky eater would have put that straight in the bin and gone hungry. He refused to eat fruit at one stage and the same apple would go in his lunch box several days on the trot simply to satisfy the lunch box police. Ham or cheese on unbuttered brioche was all he would eat for lunch. I suspect he would have eaten cold chicken nuggets - given the chance. And I did watch him eat some cold chips the other night (though thankfully, at 18, his diet is generally much improved).

But he certainly wasn't like that because of me as his older siblings have always eaten very healthily.

Lakegeneva40 · 30/03/2017 13:12

I agree that if the school was worried they could have done something. Twice my Dd managed to lose her packed lunch. Once on the way to the school. The school provided a school dinner and I paid for it. Another time she lost it on school premises. Again they provided a meal but I was not charged.
I do think some people are being over dramatic. One happy meal for lunch is not going to lead to a lifetime of obesity and cost the NHS millions. If there is a pattern than of course it is lazy parenting and bordering on neglect but as a one off, no.
As someone else said the bread could have gone off and nanny could have treated kids to a happy meal but was uneaten.