To wonder how you can not bath or shower kids every day?

[Kalitall]

I know this ones been done, and I don't think anyone is dirty for not bathing every day and I understand about skin conditions.

I just don't know how everyone gets away with not bathing children each day. Especially little ones.

My two boys seem to get filthy. They both play outside every day and end up muddy. The toddler gets really mucky eating meals, usually ends up with food everywhere even in his hair. Also often ends up with paint over him from nursery. He poos in his nappy every day and even though he's clean up is usually still a bit smelly. In the Summer they both get quite sticky.

I find it easier to run a bath or put him under the shower than to top and tail to clean all the muck off.

Like I said I'm not accusing anyone of being dirty, as an adult I could probably get away with not showering each day as I don't sweat much and don't get mucky.

Do other children just not get in a mess?

It's the same with washing clothes. I reuse my own clothes but I could never not wash the dcs clothes, because they're always covered in food or mud.

Everyone needs a bath/shower every day. Those that don't are nasty with poor hygiene standards.

DC1 needs daily showers as he's starting to get sweaty otherwise
DC3 often needs daily too as she gets food / drink / toothpaste in her hair

DC2+4 can get away with a couple of times a week

I think it depends on the child

ilove Do you want to say that to my mil who hasn't been able to safely get in the bath for years?

I am currently thinking in an amused way of Ruth Goodman's experiments with different hygiene methods from history. The Tudor one, where you don't bath (it was believed to open the pores and let infection in) but wash in cold water and wear clean linen every day which rubs off the oil and dirt, turned out to result in less whiffiness than her colleague got from daily showers and less frequent changes of linen.
People being utterly directive about it and convinced that their way is the only one and everyone else must be minging, is of course something that recurs throughout history...

How bizarre, my husband and I were just having this conversation this morning. I too wonder how people get away with not bathing the kids everyday...not judging anyone it just wouldn't happen here! I have 2 kids, DS1 is 9 and he gets showered every morning before school and bathed evernight before bed. DS2 is 2 and gets a full wash down every morning (or sometimes climbs in the shower with DS1) and gets a bath every night before bed. Both of them are typical boys. I don't think the eldest has ever come home from school 'clean'. He's always coverfed in mud, felt tip pen, random food (gravy or yoghurt spills), paint...the list goes on. The youngest is pretty much the same, loves being out in the garden in his wellies, he's always covered in mud, sand or anything else he can get his hands on. I don't have a 'dirt aversion' and I love them having fun and getting dirty but I think there's nothing nicer than having a lovely bath and putting on clean PJS before going to bed. Both of mine are water babies too, they absolutely love being in the bath or shower. It also 'wastes' half an hour at the end of the day lol. I get in the bath with the youngest and we have a nice play with his toys, then the eldest will have a nice soak in the bath while I get the youngest ready for bed 😊. It works for us and I do think it's easier than trying to have a 'full body wash ' with a flannel everyday. When we were kids we did only have a bath on a Sunday night, ready for school, and a full wash everyday...it was too expensive (and took too much time) to heat the emersion everyday lol. I also wonder how people get away with wearing the same clothes everyday! Most of the kids in DS's class have 2 or 3 school uniforms which last them all week....not a chance here! When he was in Reception class I did only buy 3 uniforms and spent so much time washing and drying them midweek because he NEVER came home even remotely clean, since then we've bought 5 uniforms every year and we still never get 1 day when he comes home and I think 'yes, I could put that uniform on him again tomorrow' 😂😂😂. 'Clean kids' must be a godsend....but I must admit, I wouldn't change my grubby two for the world 😚😚😚

I think 9 is a bit old to be coming home from school covered in 'mud, felt tip pen, random food (gravy or yoghurt spills), paint...the list goes on'. Why is he spilling food?

Are you going to teach him to wash and iron his own uniforms any time soon?

Math what world do you live in? My 9 year old DD comes home dirty every day...not with ink and food but with muck from the playground! As for teaching a nine year old to do it's own laundry...why don't you just send them down the mine and be done with it!

Ridiculous.

Mine learned to use the washing machine, read laundry labels and separate clothes that didn't go in the dryer at about 10, with help from me. They gradually eased into doing their own laundry as young teens. (Children should be doing chores at that age or you will find it difficult to get them to muck in as teens. Getting them started by doing their own laundry is a good idea because it gives them an aspect of self care they can be proud of.)

My DCs got taught not to spill food on themselves, but this was a lot earlier than 9. Exercising table manners will usually ensure that you avoid excessive spilling. Sit on your chair, close your mouth while you chew/don't speak with your mouth full, look at your drink while you are drinking and while picking it up and putting it down, look at your spoon and your pot of yogurt while eating, maybe lean towards the table if food is likely to drip, don't rush - there's no way to guard against what other children may do with their drinks/waving food around, swinging their elbows, of course, but you still have to do your best yourself.

Same sort of mindfulness goes for avoiding paint and marker all over themselves. At 9 they are capable of getting through a day without requiring an evening of work from the laundry attendant.

I have 5 DCs (now aged 15 to 26) who were all healthy and active children, and I am surprised to hear that children end up in this sort of dishevelled state just from eating and schoolwork on a regular basis.

I have nothing against children getting muddy, covered in grass stains, sand/pine needles/dried leaves/snow everywhere - that is life, but I really think you have to help your 9 year old children develop real world skills including not spilling as much as three year olds do and not covering themselves in paint daily in school. You are not really doing them a favour by letting them disregard the fact that others are either paying for extra uniforms or performing nightly feats of laundry in order to make them presentable for what is probably the first five minutes of school every day.

I have a nine year old

Yesterday he came home with black paint splashed down his white polo T-shirt (and on both elbows)

He had had fun at school. I don't see the issue.

Sometimes he gets food on his clothes especially if eating a messy dinner eg spaghetti, again I don't see it as a massive issue

Sometimes I get food on my clothes too!

My 9 year old DD comes home dirty every day...not with ink and food but with muck from the playground!

My husband and I come back from trail running and various sports covered in mud too and we would look worst if we were trying to climb trees the way my kids do.

Nobody uses art smocks in school? Every school I have ever attended and my DCs' primary school asked students to bring an old shirt of some kind to wear over uniform for art, and also cooking. Their secondary school had no uniform but they still managed to keep their clothes clean in art as you would expect from teenagers.

What about table manners? At what stage of life does food down your front become less charming and more a pita? And if it's on their clothes is it on the floor too? Who cleans that up? I am getting an impression of children swanning through their lives leaving a trail of destruction in their wake and parents ending up with quite a bit of extra work or expense. When do you have a conversation with your children about personal responsibility? This is how the positive habit can be started - showing children that there are consequences for thoughtlessness in matters both large and small is part of turning them into adults imo.

Honestly I don't want my 9 year old stressing over a mucky uniform or a bit of spaghetti on the floor

He does wear an overshirt for art apparently so god knows how he manages it

Yes there is food on my kitchen floor after meals but to be fair I also have a three year old and a seven year old. It's just part of the after tea clean up. Sometimes I do it and sometimes one of the DC will.

I think it's a bit judgmental to call food down a child's fromt 'table manners'. My son is 12 and has more than 1 invisible disability. There's not a single day he does't have food down his front but he's not bad mannered. He also cannot use a knife and fork 'properly' nor is able to eat with his mouth closed. It's sad to think that people would think so of him.

This thread is ridiculously judgemental and shallow.

Some children can be taught and some children struggle. My dds (10 and 9) have a laundry basket they're responsible for - it is a loads worth and they are learning to make sure it's washed, done in the dryer (or hung on clothes horse), folded and put away. It's hit and miss, but they are learning - they are pretty good at looking after their stuff although dd2 can be a bit of a klutz and often splosshes soup down her front! Ds is nearly 7 and disabled, he puts his clothes in the wash basket and sometimes helps me with washing, but it will be a while before he can do a wash himself. He is a very messy eater, everything in his packed lunch has to be chopped super small as he has a tendency to choke, but that means there are sometimes bits everywhere. He can't use cutlery very well, and needs to be changed and cleaned up after eating. He comes home from school looking as though he has had a fight with a whiteboard marker in a muddy hut (he is also the one who has a fear of baths......)

Children are all different

'Ilovesouthlondon' - is that because south Londoners are more dirty than the rest of us! Nasty is a pretty nasty word to use

This is very timely, on Thursday DD 9's class were celebrating the Hindu festival of Holi, they were throwing paint at each other. They wore old t-shirts over underwear, but DD's underwear and the ends of her hair were still pink when she got home!

I bath mine every other day, top & tail on days in between. Food, felt tip, paint etc tends to be on their clothes rather than the child & they go in the wash after each wear. They've both been taught not to fuck about with their hair whilst eating, that's just basic manners isn't it?

Aside from the waste of water and energy of unnecessary bathing what about all the chemicals you obsessive bathers are subjecting your children to? Shampoo, bubble bath, soap etc. Maybe some after-bathing talc, oil or lotion as well. I'd rather my children's skin thrived in a more natural environment. Baths use a hideous amount of water so twice a week with body washes or showers in between if dirty is adequate in most cases ime.

I'll just leave this here.

www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Boils/Pages/Prevention.aspx

Elan is that link for the argument to bath every day? Do small children often get boils? My 2 year old hasn't ever got one.

The point a lot of people seem to be missing is that the majority of people who don't bath their children daily on this thread have said they do wash them, just not in the bath or the shower.

Amazed this still grinds on. What do the bathing obsessive think happens in drought countries, or freezing climes where heating up lots of water is an absurd use of resources, or places with limited infrastructure? What do they think happened for probably the last two hundred thousand years before plumbing and hot running water?? I'm not suggesting that people weren't going to be, shall we say, fragrant, and with better hygiene we generally find better mortality outcomes, but like everything, there's a reasonable limit, after which things go the other way. The argument that daily bathing is utterly vital is tenuous to say the least. Plenty of research shows that some of us are now too clean for our own good, and that plenty of children are failing to build up sufficient immunity because of over-clean conditions.

Elan, that advice is clearly meant for people who are prone to developing boils. Which does not include the vast majority of small children.

BantyCustards, I apologise for not making it clear that I was referring to NT children in my remarks about how table manners can prevent a lot of mess on the part of 9 year olds.

HazeyJane - apologies to you too.

The odd accident is one thing but seeing (NT) children mess themselves so much that they need five sets of school uniform would cause me to try to investigate what they were doing to get in such a state.

Children don't have to be stressed about manners either. Once learned, decent behaviour at the table becomes second nature. And they don't have to stop having fun in art class just because they are careful not to get paint on themselves (and hopefully not on others either.)