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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I know IABU, help me see the light

53 replies

LittleBoPeephole · 28/03/2017 15:29

So, I'm redecorating our house and have some space for a spare room as DP doesn't need his office anymore. Weach both live far from home town although my own mum will be the one staying in said spare room 99% of the time.

Mum has been single all my life. Dad left when I was very young so I've only had mum and siblings as company. My mum had recently found a new partner and I've never met him or spoken but my mum is sure they are going the distance and will eventually marry. That's great for her and I genuinely want her to be happy.

But here's the AIBU: would I be unreasonable to buy a single bed for her knowing that she eventually want to bring her boyfriend? It grosses me out to think about them two near each other let alone sharing a bed.

OP posts:
SnowBallsAreHere · 28/03/2017 15:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ampersand22 · 28/03/2017 15:31

Yes you would BU you selfish git. Your mother has been single all her life.

Be thankful you didn't have loads of 'uncles' growing up like I did.

Shoxfordian · 28/03/2017 15:31

Yeah buy a double
Your mum is an adult; she's allowed a relationship! Also a double will be better for any other visitors

Doyouwantabrew · 28/03/2017 15:31

Yes your mum isn't a child and neither are you!

Surely you should be happy for her if she's found happiness at last.

You are grossed out about other adults having sex?? Don't be so silly. Get a double bed and support her choices as I guess she's supported you all these years.

TitaniasCloset · 28/03/2017 15:32

You are being really silly

As snowballs said noone likes a single bed.

Doyouwantabrew · 28/03/2017 15:32

To add a single adult wants a double bed anyway! Single beds are for children not adults.

xStefx · 28/03/2017 15:33

Come on now OP, stop being silly and go and buy your mum a double bed.

Just tell her when they visit that there will be no funny business under your roof, watch them both go red with embarrassment lol

LilacSpatula · 28/03/2017 15:33

Is this a joke?

sillypussy · 28/03/2017 15:33

And your mum might be 'grossed out' at the thought of you sharing a bed and having sex!! YABU. Grow up and be happy that she is in a happy relationship after years of being single. Buy a double bed!

BewtySkoolDropowt · 28/03/2017 15:34

Would your mum make you sleep in a single bed if you were visiting?

FlyingElbows · 28/03/2017 15:35

Unless you are 14 yabu.

LoveMyLittleSuperhero · 28/03/2017 15:37

My mother won't stay in my house, we have a spare room but despite money being tight she pays for a hotel, because me and dp (dds dad) share a bed. Think how pathetic that is, because that is exactly how you sound.

Huskylover1 · 28/03/2017 15:37

Er, she was having sex before you were born....and it sounds like she truly deserves some happiness and sexual attention now, after all her single years. Why on earth would you buy a single bed, when you know she will visit with him? Where will he go? On the floor? And I doubt they'll be at it when they visit, I'm sure they can have one night off. Wink

Doyouwantabrew · 28/03/2017 15:48

Get out bet they shag like rabbits. Grin buy the double and ear plugs op.

dunnodunnodunno · 28/03/2017 15:49

It grosses me out to think about them two near each other let alone sharing a bed

That is the most stupid thing I have ever read on here.

ImperialBlether · 28/03/2017 15:50

Does your mum sleep in a single bed in her own house?

You sound unbelievably selfish, OP.

Ecureuil · 28/03/2017 15:52

Why does it gross you out?! How odd.
Surely most adults sleep in a double bed, even single ones?

whatsthecomingoverthehill · 28/03/2017 15:53

I hope this isn't real.

shovetheholly · 28/03/2017 15:58

This can't be real.

EweAreHere · 28/03/2017 16:00

Grow up.

Buy a proper guest room double bed if you have room for one.

MadMags · 28/03/2017 16:00

Fuck sake!

Bonez · 28/03/2017 16:01

Buy what you want for your own house.

NotMyPenguin · 28/03/2017 16:05

Buy a double... just imagine if she'd done this to you when you were a young adult!

floraeasy · 28/03/2017 16:05

You can't help how you feel, but I think you need to come to terms with the fact that your mother is not just your mother but a woman who wants a loving relationship.

Maybe she wanted to focus on you kids without a partner when she split with your Dad, I don't know. However, that seems to have backfired on her somewhat as you now cannot conceive of her as being anything but your mum.

I think you'll get used to the idea pretty quickly in the end. I'd get that double bed. Meanwhile if this relationship seems to be going as well as you say, I think it's time to start making overtures about meeting your mum and partner for dinner or a drink and getting to know him.

Sounds like your mum worked very hard to bring you and your sibs up alone and if she's found happiness in a relationship now, you should try and be happy for her.

MrsTerryPratchett · 28/03/2017 16:05

I do think you need to think about why them even being near each other grosses you out. You may have thoroughly shoved her into the 'mum' box and don't like to think of her in the 'woman' box. Society does the same with older women all the time.

Your mum has the right to happiness and sex if they want it.