Is my husband a big mardy arse or WIBU? WARNING: most pathetic AIBU thread ever

[FishChipsAndBeans]

My husband does a workout in the mornings before work. He's put on some weight recently, so he's upped this by doing another workout in the evenings as well.

We have a dog and we split the dog walks between us: he does first thing, I do lunchtime, and we usually do the evening walk together (quality time) before he does his workout.

He texted me today: "Would you mind taking the dog tonight? If yes, I will do a workout."

I was confused by this because he has been doing these workouts after we've been for the walk. I replied: "I thought you were doing the workouts every night. Does that mean you want me to do all the evening dog walks now?" (followed by nice kisses to show I'm not being arsey)

He replied: "I tell you what, I will take the dog. I will remember that." (No kisses! - thus showing me he was being arsey)

After this, he has ignored all subsequent texts from me. Was I unreasonable to ask a further question on his plans to clear up my confusion or should I have just said "Yes darling, of course I will take the dog for a walk on my own'? Or am I right in thinking he's a big mardy immature toddler with his "I will remember that" threat and subsequent silent treatment?

I think going forward, speak to him rather than texting. Texting is not an effective way of conversing unless it is for quick messages such as "bring milk please". It is very difficult to determine the correct tone of a text hence leading to arguments.

I agree that your text was OTT. I really don't see why him asking you to do a one-off favour means that he was asking you to do it forever! His reaction was a bit strong, but I can see why he was miffed.

I wouldn't text again - wait until he gets home, apologise, say you can see why your text possibly read a bit arsey, but that wasn't your intention. And then ask what his reply was all about. 'I'll remember that' sounds a bit threatening!!

[womb] You think he's out shagging a prostitute?

That's a wild assumption from a couple of texts..

I'd reply. Alright fatty see ya later x

why doesn't he walk the dog and run?? ...C25K ?? I did that last year till my ankles got weird, then they finally got better and the dog's back gave out. No running for anyone now.

We loved it.

Surely if he is living this Walter Mitty life, he'd be better taking the dog for a walk to meet his OW ? Unlikely to be getting up to much mischief lunging with Jillian Michaels in the living room ?

But fish, well done for recognising there's an outside chance YMB a bit U!!!

Unlikely to be getting up to much mischief lunging with Jillian Michaels in the living room?

Why is there a need for such fixes arrangements?

We have a dog - sometimes we all go - sometimes DH will go alone other times it's me and one of the kids - sometimes 2 or 3

I refuse to enter into 'but we always do X on Thursday - let alone daily!

Why should the OP answer automatically be 'YES OF COURSE'?
Genuine question as I'm not sure why or whether it should be.

Doesn't matter if the OP had answered yes or no really, but she didn't answer and fired back another question instead. I don't think PP mean she should say yes automatically, just that she should have given a yes or no indication instead of assuming permanent catastrophic change was on the way and querying all future arrangements

"I'll remember that" is horrible. He could easily have replied "No, just tonight please".

at see you later fatty. I restrained from saying that though!

Well I was the bigger person and said sorry for my text. He didn't offer any apology, acted all huffy and said he thought he was completely in the right. Which all made me sorry I'd said sorry! In the end, I repeated something off this thread and asked him did he think he was the godfather. He smirked and said Yes. A couple of hours later, he's being all cheery and smug.

AIBU to want to throw the dog's lead at him?

Lesson taken from today: don't try to hold conversations over text.

I don't have sympathy for couples who TEXT each other especially when some delicate 'negotiations' are needed, and then simultaneously get the ump because of cross wires.

Lol FishChips nice xpost there, and a very intelligent conclusion. Good on ya! x

He's overdoing the workouts too.
I know that it's easy to get carried away at the beginning, but he will hurt himself training every night, or even worse, twice a day.
The body needs to rest and recover.
A dog walk would do the job

Well actually, I don't understand his text at all.

"Would you mind doing X? If yes (ie, you would mind), I will do Y"

Makes no sense at all. He needs to communicate properly.

I would have just replied with a yes or a no, which is what he probably wanted. He asked you a question, instead of getting a reply he got a question in return, which he didn't want. My husband does this to me all the time, I personally find it annoying.

Let him stew for a while, he'll be fine after workout OP.

Doyouwantabrew

Lol.

I haven't read it all, but if he is going to the gym twice per day, and not really making any progress with his weight loss etc, then my spidey sense would be tingling.

Sudden need to self-improvement - Tick
Avoiding quality time with his partner - Tick

He is using the gym as a reason to get out of walking the dog now, but the next step will be to get out of an evening together, and say that he has met a 'mate' there, or a training partner, and they are giving him 'tips' etc. Just wait for the inevitable "work weekend away" that he won't be able to get out of, but he will make it up to you.......Sorry to say OP, but I would be very worried if I were you. If it looks like a dog, and barks like a dog.........

Have you checked his mobile or emails for any unusual activity??

OP, no advice re dog walking but I would suggest you both look into limiting carbs. As we get older our insulin deals with the carbs we eat less and less effectively. Symptoms include increased fat settling around our middles (and organs). Sadly, no exercise will deal with it (you can't outrun a bad diet). Do some research and then your DH will be able to resume single exercise sessions and you can both walk the dog in the evenings.

Mycats I agree with you. I've actually done a ton of research - I've read several books on diet and exercise because I find science and nutrition interesting. I also work in a science related field, so I have a decent grasp of the science/studies quoted behind these books. I've relayed the information to my husband, but he chooses not to believe me. He still chooses to believe that exercise = weight loss. If one of his friends - or almost anyone else apart from me actually - gave him the same information, he would believe them. But not me.