Is my husband a big mardy arse or WIBU? WARNING: most pathetic AIBU thread ever

[FishChipsAndBeans]

My husband does a workout in the mornings before work. He's put on some weight recently, so he's upped this by doing another workout in the evenings as well.

We have a dog and we split the dog walks between us: he does first thing, I do lunchtime, and we usually do the evening walk together (quality time) before he does his workout.

He texted me today: "Would you mind taking the dog tonight? If yes, I will do a workout."

I was confused by this because he has been doing these workouts after we've been for the walk. I replied: "I thought you were doing the workouts every night. Does that mean you want me to do all the evening dog walks now?" (followed by nice kisses to show I'm not being arsey)

He replied: "I tell you what, I will take the dog. I will remember that." (No kisses! - thus showing me he was being arsey)

After this, he has ignored all subsequent texts from me. Was I unreasonable to ask a further question on his plans to clear up my confusion or should I have just said "Yes darling, of course I will take the dog for a walk on my own'? Or am I right in thinking he's a big mardy immature toddler with his "I will remember that" threat and subsequent silent treatment?

Well, on the face of it he's being a bit of a jerk. However, text conversations are difficult sometimes, so you may just have your wires crossed.

Big cuddle of the mardy arse later may help op

YANBU - of course you can clarify.

Surely he'd get enough exercise taking the dog for a vigorous walk. He doesn't need to do weights (if that's what he is doing) twice a day.

I'd LTB on the I will remember that alone.

YABU OP - if you wanted to ask him if the arrangement was changing, then ask him face to face. No need to do it via text, you could have said yes to tonight and then asked him at home.

As for kisses on a text reducing the arsey-ness of it - no, they don't.

This is why texting is shit, no tone of voice to help interpret things. I can see why he might e found your text passive aggressive but also think his "I'll remember this" remark is wanky and unnecessary

Thanks everyone, really appreciate your replies. I think we'll have to chalk this one up to crossed wires over text, and maybe I'll reassess what I say in texts and what I say face to face!

For those who asked:
Workouts: he's doing weights in the mornings and cardio exercise in the evenings (diet: overall good, but interspersed with alcohol, chocolate, crisps and many takeaways )

He could strap weights to his arms and legs for a "dog walk workout" incorporating lunges or press ups where possible.

Is Mr.Fish on a diet as well? Diets do make people a bit grumpy...

Better for a face to face conversation than text maybe

Is there some massive backstory here, why would you assume that one text asking you to walk the dog that evening means a permanent change?

Just seen your update r.e diet. He's definitely cancelling out any work outs with take aways I'm afraid

YABVU. He'd considered things & asked a valid question & you got on your own agenda & sent an unwarranted passive aggressive response.

Your both childish.

Your reply would have been better as 'no problem, just as a one off or is this something you want to change regularly?'

That's an enquiry. Your response showed you didn't like his request.
He knew in advance you wouldn't like it hence his moody reply.

If he's going to the gym twice a day and not losing weight something is drastically wrong with his diet!!

Your reply would have been better as 'no problem, just as a one off or is this something you want to change regularly?'

Yes I see your point

Two workouts, plus two dog walks plus a full-time job (I assume?) every day? He's probably knackered! I'm always more mardy if I'm over tired.

I also agree with a PP, that there seems little point in ditching one exercise (dog walk) just to do a different one (cardio). Does he go to the gym twice a day or work out at home?

Yes, we both work full time. And yes, he has been a little grumpier since he started doing this. He works out both at home and at the gym.

Do not understand his logic at all. Could he not jog ( i.e. do cardio) as dog walk ? Surely the only one of the benefits of having a dog is going for brisk walks with the mutt?

Hey chill out this is just one of those daft arguments we ALL have.

Things are easily misinterpreted via text too - there is no tone of voice , body language etc.

Maybe your question of doing it EVERY night did seem a bit passive aggressive, but he trumps you in the tosspot stakes by the silent treatment.

Therefore, like everyone else, neither of you is perfect and this thread is a bit of a moot point

I'm with you Op-his text doesn't really make sense.

Although I'm not sure why you didn't just ask why he wasn't going to do both as usual so I think that you are both being a bit confusing, but I don't think that there was any need at all for his nasty reply.

Poor dog!

DLTBOT- Don't Leave The Bastard Over This

Mm. So he is suddenly grumpier, and also simply must be out of the house and unreachable for a little while so he can work out now. Let's see, is he also suddenly more secretive with his phone? Have his habits in bed changed? The level of annoyance he displayed sounds a lot more like a man denied a quick tryst with an OW or a sex worker than like a man denied a workout.

Send a txt from the dog

Which of you two miserable so and so's love me enough to take me out and delight in the pleasure of my company.

Actually I don't want to ' walk' I'd rather stop in and do a workout!

Love from your dog :-)

Oh leave the op alone now. We have all been there and if my dh texted me 'I will remember that' I think I would piss myself laughing and refer to him as the godfather.

He's probably pissed off at not loosing weight. Don't helpfully mention diet tonight will you op.