To wish my parents would stop trying to control my decisions at nearly 40?

[ChasingMars]

They're just controlling and make me feel like a rubbish parent. They feel the need to forcibly offer their opinion on every area of my life and are great at turning on the guilt when I don't comply with their wishes.

The latest, which my mum has just guilt tripped me over, is leaving my 16 year old overnight on Saturday whilst DH and I camp over at a pub for my birthday- just a few minutes away by car. My mother thinks this is awful of me as we are also going away with friends the week after - but it's my 40th so a one off. I ran it by my 16 yr old in advance and she wants to stay home alone, she'll have a friend over and they'll order Pizza. But my mum has gone on and on about how DD will be long and it's awful that my kids are 'missing out'. She makes me feel so damn selfish!!!!!

Try reminding her that legally your daughter is old enough to move out/have a baby?!

I'm sure one night unsupervised will seem fine compared to that!

Just don't tell her things. I have had to do this with my mother as well. I do have a disability and live on the other side of the world from her so she does panic a lot, but sometimes she can be overbearing and her decisions or opinions are not The right ones

Withhold information and minimize any help you get from them then just tell them that you don't want their input. Say it like you mean it.

I get on brilliantly with my parents but I just tell them to butt out if I don't want their opinion. To be honest I hardly ever have to say it. I think I must have trained them well.

BTW. I have to watch myself as I find that I end up giving them unsolicited advice. 😂 they need it though..