More of an 'am I being vain' - about ageing and looks!

[palebluesky]

Hello :) I'm now 36 and sadly, looking at myself honestly, really don't look great. In all truth and honesty my mum didn't age very well and nor have I.

I was never Kate Moss but I did have a nice face and lovely hair once. Now, though, it's gone.

My hair is dry, dry, dry no matter what i do. So is my skin. I've tried natural ways of addressing the flakiness but it just makes it look greasy. I have furrows in my brow and black hairs sporadically growing out of my neck!

The worst thing is there's little I can do. Makeup makes me look worse! But I long for a glowing complexion and shiny swishy hair like the old days

I know it's vain but seeing some lovely young women on the train home made me realise how faded I am. AIBU? :)

Exfoliation makes a huge difference but do avoid anything with polymer beads in because they have horrific effects on underwater ecosystems.

I've never found exfoliation helps. It's round my mouth and nose and chin - if I use foundation my skin flakes. If I don't use foundation my skin doesn't flake but looks uneven and blotchy!

Getting older is hard, I agree...I look back on photos when I thought I looked like a bag of spanners and wish I could have the face I had then and the knowledge and confidence I have now (not overly confident but better than I was in my 20s). I'm 41 now and trying to keep the wrinkles at bay but it's inevitably going to happen unless I die soon I joined Mrs Gloss and the Goss on Facebook which is great for tips...there are loads of pretty, young things on there though but if you can see passed that...

Pale I've done nothing but try to be helpful to you.

Not sure where I'm being hostile at all, I've cracked jokes in my posts, and shown no vitriol to you. Sounds to me like anything anyone says won't be right, I was honestly trying to help and the mindset is a valid point AFAIC. I mourned the loss of my youth but just made the best of my good bits.

I'm off (wish I hadn't bothered). Good luck.

Looking around I just saw an old post with someone who had flakey skin
and found Ester Lauders Double Wear helped, and also using cetaphil cleanser and moisturizer. Anoter mentioned Avene cleanser.
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/style_and_beauty/1855620-Foundation-and-flaky-skin

Ah Rousette we must keep rubbing up one another the wrong way (although it's too early!)

If I'm truthful, yes, I did read a certain amount of bossy 'pull yourself together' type of tone in your posts and I don't tend to react well to those. I'm sorry. It was meant as a light hearted thread not an advisory one. Stern lectures never bring out the best in me :)

Thanks, Kind :)

Sorry if I came across that way pale, really didn't mean, I just look wistfully back at my thirties so I'm probably not the best person to post!

My skin changed at about your age. I dropped daily moisturiser in favour of a good night cream, and switched to a great primer + tinted BB cream + highlighter. I don't have the smooth bloom of youth but I do have a nice glow, and my wrinkles look pretty good

If it is the time of year now when particularly flakey it may be a kind of dermatitis - same as dandruff/cradle cap. Look it up, you can get cream to treat it - I have in the past - I just get it on my eyebrows and round my nose.

I find that Laura Mercier tinted moisturiser, makes me blooming however terrible I look underneath. Hair - go to hairdresser and make them do something. They will.

I am decades older than you as well. There honestly is hope. And yes, get your thyroid checked.

*I don't have PCOS drink plenty of water and take multivitamins.

Sorry folks, I'm going to look rude now but it's just me, it's just how I look! I'm just not 21 any more*

OP, when I hit 30 my hair went like a scarecrows. I assumed it was cause I was over 30 but found out it was a deficiency. It's harder to absorb vitamins and minerals as you get older. Now 34 back to silky smooth

I'm not 30 yet and started growing a beard! Never mind 1 or 2 hairs, they're sprouting all over my bloody chin. Even the lighter hairs are growing longer and it often looks worse with makeup on as the hairs become more noticeable if they don't stay laid flat against my skin. Can I cover my face in hair spray???

I think hair wise just keep trying different conditioners or splash out at a posh stylists and seek advice whilst you're there.

Face wise, probably the same tbh. Try different moisturisers and see if any have the desired effect. Or see a skin specialist??

What are your nails like? Just thinking if your skin, hair and nails are becoming very dry and brittle maybe you're missing something from your diet? Are you getting enough protein? Healthy fats? Maybe a dietition could help, or just blood tests to make sure your not lacking in anything. Try boost your diet with a bit more protein, healthy fats (nuts great for both) and take a multivitamin?

go to hairdresser Yes, but be careful. They are often the first to wreck hair by over colouring it and tell you it will be Ok when it won't be except for the first week or so.

What's your diet like OP?

Go to a really good hairdresser (ask for recommendations) and a really good salon where they do skin treatments/skin specialist (again, recommendations). Ask for consultations first so that you're not paying for something that might not be of any use.

Don't give up. 36 is no age.

I started feeling old(er) around 41 when my nose to mouth lines got worse. Someone on style and beauty said that's nothing wait until your skin starts to sag. My mum and granny have jowls it's a family thing so now I do face exercises, eat well and exercise. Genetics plays a huge part and there's nothing you can do about that. You are still young make the most of what you have and smile which makes everyone look more attractive.

Pretty good, toffee. I'm mostly vegan. My hair is nice after highlights but then goes back.

Sorry if this has already been asked (I haven't read all the replies) but how often do you wash your hair? I use to have quite oily hair as a young'un and got into the habit of washing it every other day or even daily. As I've got older (40 this year), it's gradually got drier and more coarse. I now only wash it once or twice a week and it looks so much better.

My skin has also got drier in the last few years. I also have acne, as an added complication, so what works for my skin wouldn't necessarily with yours, but I do absolutely love the Elizabeth Arden night cream. It's kinda gloopy, but I slather it on before bead a few times a week and wake up with lovely, dewy skin. (For a while, anyway!)

If nothing you've tried is helping the flakiness I'd speak to your GP. It could well be they can give you a cream that will help it.

I have thinning/fine/thin hair and coconut oil made it like straw. It was THE worst thing I've ever tried on it. I use Phyto products (get them off amazon. Not cheap but last a long time) and the difference it has made is amazing. Truly thought I was beyond help hairwise. For the first time in about 20 years it has a shine.

No one can help the genetic hand they've been dealt but there will be stuff that can help your skin look less flakey and make--up that will make any lines/flaws look less pronounced. Im 56 and have had to really change a lot of the stuff I use over the years. Minera, powder foundation was the first thing that went because instead of the lovely natural glow it gave me, I looked like I'd had my make-up done by an embalmer.

Could you treat yourself to a facial once a month? A good one like Elemis or Dermalogica. Your skin will suck up the moisture like a sponge!

Also, I'd really recommend Clarins Double Serum and Botox will get rid of those furrows and take at least 5 years off.

Another expensive thing, but having an Olaplex treatment on your hair will completely transform it.

Buy Nivea regenerating night cream. Its amazing. Put it on before bed and it really feels so lovely and i think it does work. My skin feels younger and softer. I feel better doing this. I know what you nean though. I am 37 and have just had my 4th baby. Feeling older. Much much older.

I bet you still look quite pretty at 36, were you confident about your appearance at 21? I think women generally look better in their mid 30s, IMHO the young ones at work aren't more beautiful they just look very young and innocent. But I've got a decade on you so can tell you you'll look back at photos in your 30s someday and wish you still looked like that. But you'll also be glad of the experiences under your belt. Better to be old than dead (she says cheerfully!).

Rather than recommending expensive creams I'd say look at your overall lifestyle. Do you drink too much? Do you smoke? Do you sleep enough (how old are your kids?)? Do you have plenty of good fats in your diet (especially if you are mostly vegan)? Do you do the recommended amount of exercise? If you work on all of the above then you'll feel better and therefore look better. If you want a quicker pick me up then go and buy yourself some new clothes or get a new haircut or get your nails done. Love yourself.

My skin is awful - I'm 40 and though I'm not very wrinkly I have huge gaping pores that foundations settle in.

I try to drink plenty of water and I use Rimmel Wake Me Up Foundation - best one for me and cheap enough for you to try.

My hair has gone thin and is not the lustrous silken mane it was but I visit a salon that uses Olaplex - the shine they achieve is seriously amazing.

I haven't started growing hair where it shouldn't yet - lucky me!

I have shockingly poor self esteem and self image - I guess I know how you are feeling and advice isn't necessarily what you're looking for but try something different. It may just help.