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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Feel friend is taking advantage

118 replies

hedgehogcrochet · 26/03/2017 21:44

Trying to limit details as could be outing.

DH and I are friends with another couple who have had bad luck with work and have often been unemployed recently. Friend A was trying to sell things to make money and I felt pushed in to buying something. Friends seem to think I earn loads of money due to my qualifications but in fact I work in a badly paid profession. Anyway, I agreed to buy the object to help her out and it was something that I would potentially use.

Her partner, Friend B accidentally just mentioned that the item is in fact broken and a repair company says nothing can be done to fix it. I realise I was naive and stupid to assume it worked but now what do I do? I really want to get rid of said item as DH has just been made redundant so need any extra money. However I've had a look on EBay and working items are selling for less than she asked me for. I know there is nothing I can do but AIBU to be pissed off to feel tricked into to buying something that is broken? I suspect I am and need to learn from the experience. I feel cheated though

OP posts:
Original poster
hedgehogcrochet · 26/03/2017 22:49

It's also pissed me off because I had to back out of buying a piece of her artwork as DH lost his job and she made me feel terrible. A real guilt trip. Now this Hmm

OP posts:
Original poster
hedgehogcrochet · 26/03/2017 22:50

viquesGrin

OP posts:
Original poster
hedgehogcrochet · 26/03/2017 22:52

I've done so much to support her emotionally and she knew what a shit time I was going through, she just has this unrealistic expectation that I must earn loads of money so it's ok for her to use me

OP posts:
llhj · 26/03/2017 22:53

That's not taking advantage that's fraud. She's a lowlife. Stop all contact. You sound too nice tbh.

maddening · 26/03/2017 22:53

Leave the sewing Machine on her doorstep - she can be the one to take it to the skip!

LaContessaDiPlump · 26/03/2017 22:53

Since she's not answering texts and was taking advantage of you anyway, where's the harm in letting her know that your job isn't that well paid?

Something like: 'Ok - I take it that you're not going to answer any of my messages, and to me that indicates that we're probably not going to see much of each other from now on. That's fine. Just to be clear, I was trying to do you a favour by buying the item - a favour I was happy to provide but also struggled to afford, as you seem to think I'm a lot richer than I actually am. Your response (or lack thereof) has therefore been especially upsetting. No need to reply. Hedgehog.'

Bettyspants · 26/03/2017 22:54

That's really sad OP. I'd probably send a message saying friend b told you it didn't work and you feel completely betrayed and used, it's a really low life thing to do. Then have absolutely nothing to do with either of them again . Sounds like you will continue to be a source of funds for them if you remain friends. Unforgivable in my book

Aeroflotgirl · 26/03/2017 22:54

Wow she is no friend at all, she's sounds utterly nasty, and a fraud. Yiur best off without her.

HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 26/03/2017 23:00

She doesn't sound anything like a real friend OP. Sorry.

MipMipMip · 26/03/2017 23:04

Nothing to add to the very sensible comments here with regard to the friendship. It wasn't one, sorry.

What make is the sewing machine? If a good one it might be worth contacting an independent repair shop as they can often fix things the makers say are unfixable. Depends on the fault and if it would be worth the money. Going to depend on the model for that.

Trollspoopglitter · 26/03/2017 23:05

The sewing machine doesn't work. This isn't on and friends don't behave like this. If you don't refund me, I will be filing in small claims court.

Joffmognum · 26/03/2017 23:05

My friend did a similar thing

They said how broke they were, and then the conversation changed to him getting his bass guitar out and we were having fun with him showing me how to play. I said that id like to learn how to play an instrument one day and he told me the guitar was £150. I was shocked, but figured he must be desperate. He got PayPal open then and there and was hurrying me with trying to remember my password. I felt very hurried and uncomfortable, and I told him I didn't want it that much, but he told me he really needed it, and that he would prefer £170 instead. In my head I started to consider it a gift, as although I was on a very low income, he was too and maybe he had an expense he was embarrassed to tell me about. The guitar was worth £50 tops.

He spent the money on a second-hand PlayStation 3. I brought up that I felt deceived and he didn't seem to care. We'd had a great friendship - we'd spoken everyday since we were 13 - but I haven't spoken to him since. This was 2 years ago.

If you are able to write the "purchase" off as a gift in your head, I recommend that. Also never buy anything from them again.

Dogivemeabreak · 26/03/2017 23:08

Think of it as a £50 lesson. Dump them.

Madwoman5 · 26/03/2017 23:08

Wow. Your friend sells you something she knows is irreparable. Nice. This is not a friend. How does she sleep knowing she used you to finance her life. Return said item and ask that she does not contact you again.

Only1scoop · 26/03/2017 23:11

50 quid is a small price to pay to rid your life of these thieving manipulative twunts. Be relieved you found out.

WicksEnd · 26/03/2017 23:12

Put sewing machine inside two binliners.
Smash said bin liners with a hammer
Empty contents onto her garden.

Live and learn OP. You're a lovely person, she's a snake 🐍

Neverknowing · 26/03/2017 23:14

That's awful!! I also don't think you're silly for assuming it worked, I would assume it worked if my friend sold it to me too?

Original poster
hedgehogcrochet · 26/03/2017 23:15

WicksEnd I admire your thinking! I will try and toughen up. Can't believe I NC because I thought I might be told that I truly am a fool Sad

OP posts:
Atenco · 26/03/2017 23:18

Ok, one thing is to guilt-trip you into buying something you don't particularly want or need, and that is bad, but who scams a friend, selling you something she knew didn't work.

OP, you've got to pick your friends with more care. Insist that they take it back and return your money and cut this friendship off with a good riddance.

Notcontent · 26/03/2017 23:19

I can't believe there are people who actually behave like that - ie people who seem normal, but obviously are not!!!

AddToBasket · 26/03/2017 23:20

I think you should make it her problem. Return the sewing machine to her, even if this means Dropping this off with friend b. Then text and say you have returned it, it was broken, she will need to return you the money.

Keep all the communication. say that you will accept £5 a week if that makes it easier for her. Be reasonable but be firm.

RustyPaperclip · 26/03/2017 23:22

Reverting back to normal username as I can't be arsed with NC and I always fuck it up anyway.

I do have a tendency to be too trusting with friends but once they let me down I tend to be quite ruthless.

Sorry for the badly thought out NC!

RustyPaperclip · 26/03/2017 23:24

Friend B now denies knowing it was broken. I really don't want to fall out with him as he is lovely but it feels inevitable

redshoeblueshoe · 26/03/2017 23:24

Hey Rusty you did say her DP was more reasonable. Give it back to him, and say you need the money back to pay for XY or Z

RustyPaperclip · 26/03/2017 23:25

Odd question but am I still highlighted as the OP for everyone on the app, even though I have NC? I didn't think I would be

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