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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Pfb or just sensible? Toddlers scooting next to roads.

74 replies

CatsRidingRollercoasters · 26/03/2017 19:51

I don't think iabu but would be interested to hear what others think. My dd has just turned 3. She has a scooter and a bike and we take one of them with us when we go to the park (we go most days). She also rides them a lot in the garden but doesn't have brilliant control of either yet. We live a 5 minute walk from the park and I don't let her ride the scooter/bike until we get there. I wedge it somewhere on/under ds's buggy which I'm always pushing. She walks along holding my hand.

Until recently she's always been quite happy to walk along holding hands, but lately she's been getting upset because I won't let her ride from the house like her friends all do. This is the problem. All of our friends with 2 and 3 year olds let them ride along the pavement, including when the adult is also pushing a younger sibling in a buggy. They go quite far ahead - several houses - and are often out of sight around bends.

We live in the suburbs. Most houses have driveways which cars can come out of unexpectedly. We have to cross 4 roads to get to the park, one of which is a zebra crossing on a busy bend.

Am I being precious or are my friends too relaxed, or something in between? I'm really curious to know what others think.

In the park I let her go as far and as fast as she wants, as long as I can see her. AIBU?

OP posts:
Original poster
CatsRidingRollercoasters · 26/03/2017 20:31

I always go roadside too - dd is pretty much programmed to swap sides if we cross over and the road is on our other side Grin

I have tried letting her ride alongside at the speed of the buggy, but once we get onto the busier road she doesn't want to get off and a tantrum ensues. I just find it easier to wait till we're in the park, especially as it's such a short walk.

OP posts:
SerialReJoiner · 26/03/2017 20:36

Sensible. I have a three year old who loves her scooter but is not reliable on it or around junctions. I hold the scooter when we are crossing roads or at tricky areas. She doesn't always like it but ah well.

Laska5772 · 26/03/2017 20:41

How about getting an Adult scooter? I have one ( its fun!) andscoot alongside my 4 year old DGS (roadside always )..

smallchanceofrain · 26/03/2017 20:42

DS1 was only allowed to scoot from our house to the local shop because there were no roads to cross and no driveways. I still spent a lot of time shouting at him to stop, wait, slow down etc. Given that as a preschooler he would get distracted by pretty much anything (dog, snail, stick, tin can... you get the picture) there I no way I would have let him scoot anywhere he might have to assess potential hazards and stop as appropriate.

The school run drives me mad when there are loads of small children (as well as the bigger ones) on scooters. Add them to the buggies and kids on bikes and it becomes a nightmare because the school is on a narrow street with a very narrow pavement. They bump into people and the older kids step out into the road avoid them. The Headteacher is forever sending letters about needing to show more consideration and has banned scooters from the school grounds.

A couple of months ago we had a scooter related incident where someone's toddler rammed a grandma. Various adults waded in to support one side or the other. I thought it was going to descend into a fight.

All this in a small village somewhere in Yorkshire. On second thoughts I love scooters. it would be very boring without them.

Laska5772 · 26/03/2017 20:42

Ah, you have a buggy also... ok not practical then

robinofsherwood · 26/03/2017 20:43

Im the same. My dads ex p lost her son (before they met) when he ran out into the road without warning. She always made the point that he'd always been totally sensible before, he was just too young to resist the impulse. I only knew her for a couple of years but it left an indelible impression.

So, Im the mean mum who doesnt let them scoot on the road & makes them hold hands.

MeredithShepherd · 26/03/2017 20:47

My 3 year old DS does. We live in a little housing estate which is part of a village about half a mile away down a main road. To get to the park we go down theverything main road. He goes on his balance bike, helmet on and knows he must stay on th3 side nearest the hedge. I wear my trainers and run along side him. I don't see an issue personally as long as your child is sensible enough to stop when you tell them too.

ItsNiceItsDifferentItsUnusual · 26/03/2017 20:53

I let my 3 year old scoot to the park etc, but he stays adjacent to me and we have rules of how we cross the road - off the scooter, holding hands etc. He will also stop when asked to, in the past any time he didn't listen to instructions when scooting it was immediately confiscated and he walked the rest of the way.

BUT at the moment I don't have to handle a buggy at the same time and I imagine that massively changes how in control you feel.

trilbydoll · 26/03/2017 20:54

Our route into town is mainly a cycle path so no driveways etc, but I let DD scoot next to me on the pavement in town. If she dashes off, the scooter goes on the buggy, or I tie her to the buggy handle and pull her along.

She's pretty good on it though, it never crosses my mind she might fall off.

I was once telling her off for getting too far ahead and the unattended scooter rolled out into the road Blush not sure how seriously she took me that day!

skincarejunkie · 26/03/2017 20:54

robin yes. That. Exactly that. X

WyfOfBathe · 26/03/2017 21:07

I let DD1 scoot along the pavement as soon as she got her scooter at age 3, but she was an only child and I was able to run alongside her. She's now 5 and still has to scoot alongside the buggy or to the next landmark (20-30 metres ahead) when I'm pushing DD2.

Notso · 26/03/2017 21:08

I don't like my 6 and 4 year olds scooting near toads. They can scoot all around the various parks we go to but they walk the scooters on the way there.

Notso · 26/03/2017 21:09

Roads, they can scoot near toads if the want to!

titsbumfannythelot · 26/03/2017 21:10

Sensible. My DD is 6 and I hate her scooting beside a busy main road. I worry more about the drivers than her, one silly mistake is all it would take.

FreeNiki · 26/03/2017 21:16

Id never let my 3yo DN go off ahead on a scooter. Theyd hit someone or get hit by a car.

I dont get the risks some people take. I saw a boy of maybe 9 years old out in a busy shopping area with a concrete paved precinct. They allowed him to do no arm / aerial front somersaults up and down the precinct involving a huge run up. Not only did he get in everyone's way, I held my breath every time I saw him. If he messes up and doesn't make it that's a potential skull fracture, neck fracture, shoulder fracture, etc just for the sake of showing off. There is a reason gymnasts train on crash mats and over foam pits.

Jo7Jo7 · 26/03/2017 22:10

YANBU - dd is 4 and a half and I've only just let her start riding in her own when I gave the buggy. She has to stay next to me on the side away from the road. If she goes ahead, I take the scooter and hook it over the buggy. I'm generally not a super-protective parent but a car backing off a drive wouldn't stand a chance of spotting her. It's just common sense.

NeverTwerkNaked · 26/03/2017 22:14

Yanbu.

I was going to suggest an adult scooter so you can scoot alongside her, but I see you have a buggy!

Scares me seeing tiny tots on scooters racing ahead next to busy roads

AtiaoftheJulii · 26/03/2017 22:15

I don't like driving past little kids on scooters or running. So I think you're being sensible!

kali110 · 26/03/2017 22:17

Yanbu, you are being very sensible.

SomewhatIdiosyncratic · 26/03/2017 22:49

DS2 is nearly 4 and scoots/ runs/ bikes. He's the type that lives life at a fast pace. However, the route we use most has no driveways as the houses on our side of the road are landscaped onto other cul de sacs. There is also a minimum of a metre of grass verge between the pavement and road. There is one very quiet side road which he's well used to stopping in advance of, and the "main" road is still reasonably quiet. He's very agile and controlled.

I notice that when we go down to the district shops where there is less buffer between the pavement and busier roads, I naturally rein him in and he responds positively to that.

I'd say that it's about the context of the child and the environment.

Applesandpears23 · 26/03/2017 22:59

It is so hard when your friends pick different boundaries for their kids. I try to stick to this is what I want you to do and I am your Mummy so I need to keep you safe but it is really hard.

Original poster
CatsRidingRollercoasters · 26/03/2017 23:01

Thanks for all the replies! I'm reassured to see that my friends are unusual and I am not being unreasonable, despite what dd may think! I'm going to stick to my guns.

I'm going to persevere with other things too which lots of friends no longer do but seem no brainers to me, such as...

-strapping ds into his highchair
-strapping ds into his buggy
-insisting on helmets for bike/scooter riding
-cutting up grapes and cherry tomatoes

Sure I have missed some! Grin

OP posts:
Original poster
CatsRidingRollercoasters · 26/03/2017 23:04

*disclaimer - I'm not a complete control freak and am quite chilled most of the time, but some things are non negotiable!

OP posts:
pitterpatterrain · 26/03/2017 23:22

I may have tended to be a bit more relaxed in terms of distance (not directly beside me) but we have always had very firm "stop" points that have to be adhered to since DD1 first started using it (now 3.5) - and it means we all stop at every road crossing, we only cross roads together, and always press the button and wait for the green man - or the scooter is taken away. (It's all onstreet parking so don't have the same car driveway concerns though).

With other kids around I prefer to use the strap as I worry about them getting silly and racing and then there is the risk they crash / fall into the road.

But tbh with a buggy and a scooter I have found it much easier as you describe to put the scooter on the buggy but the one difference is we use the buggy board which she finds quite fun and means you can walk a bit faster.

picklemepopcorn · 27/03/2017 06:42

When you do let her go ahead, build in routine stopping points. At first, mine had to wait at every lamppost, then every corner etc. They were never out of sight. They weren't allowed to overtake other pedestrians.

I explained to mine that perhaps the rules are different in so and so's house. Strangely, it worked.