Pfb or just sensible? Toddlers scooting next to roads.

[CatsRidingRollercoasters]

I don't think iabu but would be interested to hear what others think. My dd has just turned 3. She has a scooter and a bike and we take one of them with us when we go to the park (we go most days). She also rides them a lot in the garden but doesn't have brilliant control of either yet. We live a 5 minute walk from the park and I don't let her ride the scooter/bike until we get there. I wedge it somewhere on/under ds's buggy which I'm always pushing. She walks along holding my hand.

Until recently she's always been quite happy to walk along holding hands, but lately she's been getting upset because I won't let her ride from the house like her friends all do. This is the problem. All of our friends with 2 and 3 year olds let them ride along the pavement, including when the adult is also pushing a younger sibling in a buggy. They go quite far ahead - several houses - and are often out of sight around bends.

We live in the suburbs. Most houses have driveways which cars can come out of unexpectedly. We have to cross 4 roads to get to the park, one of which is a zebra crossing on a busy bend.

Am I being precious or are my friends too relaxed, or something in between? I'm really curious to know what others think.

In the park I let her go as far and as fast as she wants, as long as I can see her. AIBU?

[Darlink]

Precious

[leghoul]

Yanbu. Hate small kids on scooters on driveways etc. I say that as someone who has had them and used scooters and found it so enormously stressful trying to keep them alive (London) that I recall binning DS's scooter in a dramatic flourish in public when he was 3 or 4. (I retrieved it from the bin, cleaned it, and ended up giving it away)
It wasn't until he turned 6 and a half I could trust him on one to actually stop at roads and not do dangerous things, but I still strongly dislike the things.

[JigglyTuff]

Please don't let 3 year olds scoot ahead. I've seen one wobble off the edge of a pavement and nearly cause an accident (thankfully the car was able to swerve out the way). They are not old enough to be in control.

[OohNoDooEy]

She can only scoot next to you and needs to be old enough to understand that and follow the rule

[specialsubject]

No scooting on pavements. The only wheels on pavements should be pushchairs or wheelchairs.

Let her scream. You will scream much louder if she is flattened by a car reversing out of a driveway as most do. There is a kid who is only alive because on the day its mother let it scoot on the pavement, the driveway it roared towards was mine and I was going out forwards. Hence I saw it and stopped.

Make it walk.

[oblada]

Yanbu! I would not be comfortable with a 3yrs old scooting ahead. Especially if you are 5mins walk from the park there is really no need to jump ahead!

[peukpokicuzo]

At 2/3/4 definitely only with scooter strap as linked to above

At 5/6 started to be allowed to scoot on pavements independently on quiet backstreets, not by main roads.

At 7+ scooting by main roads fine so long as not too far ahead.

[purplecollar]

I think you're doing the right thing myself. In those circumstances it is dangerous for them to scoot ahead of you. Some might stay close and go slowly but those that won't are in a dangerous position. You see it every day though.

[Funnyface1]

Changed DD to dad! I hate my phone...

[Funnyface1]

I haven't read all the replies but you are being a sensible, safe parent, keep it up. Accidents can happen so fast, you would never forgive yourself if you took a chance with something you're not comfortable with, just because some other parents do. We all make different decisions as parents and you have to do what you think best.

I would tell dad that the park is for scooting and it's nice to walk together and talk about fun things you can do with the day or fun things coming up soon birthdays, holidays etc.

[halcyondays]

yanbu

[Callaird]

I'm a nanny, my 3.5 yo charge has a strap, he is very big for his age and I think people judge but I don't care. We live in London and many of his friends scoot everywhere and he often asks to scoot with them, he forgets all the rules when he is with friends! I do regularly let him go off with them after strict instructions (mainly stopping at the curb and no terrorising other foot path users) he adheres for about a nano second then forgets because his friends are allowed to go fast, far and round corners so he's back to walking with me. Hopefully he'll get there soon.

Thankfully we've just moved to the top of a hill that is too steep to scoot up or down so he asks me to carry his scooter to the park (not as much fun carrying his bike!)

[Helenluvsrob]

You make your judgment for your child. What others do / mumsnet does is irrelevant.

See it as a gentle introduction to that perpetual parenting issue " everyone else does why can't I".

Assess the issue - positives " being like friends", risks " getting injured" and severity of risk ( killed by car not just skinned knee/ broken bone as per falling off in the park). Balance the two. Then make your choice and stick to it.

Not negotiable. You don't negotiate with a 3yr old over safety issues. It is a " because I say so" moment really- though you can explain why. Negotiation will no doubt come into similar chats though ( why can't I have more pippa pig? Etc)

This type of scenario will become a daily occurrence before long and by teenage years you will have passed the responsibility onto them for sizing things up , though at 16/17 you may still take the " do you think its wise" or " have you made a list of the risks and benefits " .

[LiviaDrusillaAugusta]

It's not particularly pleasant to be rammed by a small child on a scooter either, especially when the parent smiles on indulgently from a distance

[StrangeAndUnusual]

Yanbu. Kids shouldn't be scooting or biking ahead on pavements. Mine are only allowed to scoot if they stay alongside me at my walking pace.

It's dangerous for elderly people to have kids whizzing along ahead of their parents - I have seen a couple of collisions, and for an elderly person that can mean broken bones.

It's also dangerous for the kids - a car will come out of a driveway or the child (even a much older one) can lose control momentarily and tip into the road. I have seen two older (10-11) children knocked off bikes by a car backing out of a driveway.

You are right, but i sympathise - it's difficult sticking to your guns when your children's friends are all scooting ahead merrily.

[londonrach]

Yanbu. They dangerous. Ive seen a little girl been run over as she went straight into the road as couldnt stop. She was ok but was awful to see as happened so quick. I was on other side of the road so couldnt do anything. The poor driver didnt stand a chance and was very upset. My poor gran was also knocked over by one. Dont get me on the big wheelchair scooters on pavements. You a sensible mum.

[theonlygeorgie]

YANBU. My son is 4 and I won't let him scoot along road either, only in park.

[Christmasnoooooooooooo]

Make the walk more interesting.
Point out the numbers on the houses
The road names
The flowers
The trees
Butterfly. Ants anything crawling you see.
The colours of stuff.
That way she won't bother too much about not scootingredients hopefully

[icanteven]

I'm v. classy. I tied a rope to the scooter when they were small. That way they couldn't get away, I could pull them when they got tired, and you can catch them and pull them upright more easily when they topple sideways while you're pushing a pram.

Because of being devoured by jealousy of her big sister zooming along, DD2 was scooting a micro mini scooter before she could see over the handlebars.

It's all on street parking in my urban area though, so no drives, but a couple of good (heartstopping, from my perspective) hills.

[CesareBorgiasUnicornMask]

I'm currently having this battle with DS. We have always let him scoot on quiet roads because we've been able to keep up and stay right next to him. But he's now getting faster and I'm 24 weeks pregnant and starting to find jogging along with him difficult, so we're belatedly introducing an 'in the park only' rule. Cue SO many tantrums. I wish we'd done it from the start!

[CatSneezle]

There are always going to be times when families have different rules for the same things. that's what your DC need to understand. Just repeat 'different families have different rules' or whatever mantra till your DC get bored. You need to just have a thick skin about it. Your friends won't care. Your kids will be safe.

Also I find some adults don't seem to engage their brains around supervision and scooting. I saw a horrible accident on the school run with kids doing exactly this- parents way behind chatting to other parents, so not even noticing or seeing what (yr 1?) kid was doing seriously speeding ahead excitedly on scooter, causing the many other pavement users to stop or dodge, people with small walking kids, dogs on leads, (I shouted for my small DC to get out of the way as they would have been hit) then dreadfully crashing full pelt into a wall on a bend.
The parent didn't see the crash either so it took ages for them to catch up as other parents tried to comfort the poor child who was screaming in pain and shock. Thank god for helmets. I wanted to say something to the child's parent but it wasn't the time.

[lightgreenglass]

I live in London and don't have the driveway issues but I let DS1 - 3 years scoot ahead and he knows to stop at the kerb - dismount and hold my hand and the scooter to cross the road. I would let him do it in my parents area as although there are driveways it's pretty dead.

If she keeps falling off then I would be more weary - however, she needs to learn, the garden wouldn't be big enough to learn how to control it properly. I would give her a cautious chance.

[picklemepopcorn]

When you do let her go ahead, build in routine stopping points. At first, mine had to wait at every lamppost, then every corner etc. They were never out of sight. They weren't allowed to overtake other pedestrians.

I explained to mine that perhaps the rules are different in so and so's house. Strangely, it worked.