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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Rent

49 replies

Snoreborewhoreee · 26/03/2017 11:20

Not really an AIBU as such, but should I be paying more cos not sure I pay enough?

We are currently living with my mom, me, my partner, 7yo, 5yo and 5 month old.. we are desperately trying to get a house to get out of her hair but cant afford private housing so waiting for the council..
We pay £160 a month for gas and electric and £60 a month for tv, broadband and phone and we buy all our own food which we share..
What else should we pay please?

OP posts:
Sunnysky2016 · 26/03/2017 11:23

£220 plus own food sounds good to me. If this was one of my children I would be happy with it. Unless your mum is struggling to pay bills etc?

creamycrackers · 26/03/2017 11:27

That's sounds reasonable to me. You could always ask your mum if there is anything else you could help with.

Bitchycocktailwaitress · 26/03/2017 11:33

Sounds fair to me. If you were living at my flat that would pay ALL my gas, electricity and tv/phone/internet bills. Maybe you could contribute 25% of council tax in addition if your mum is living alone otherwise, so loses her single person discount?

I'm sure she is happy to help you out though.

Bitchycocktailwaitress · 26/03/2017 11:36

Just saw £160 for gas and electricity! Goodness me we pay less than £80 so I'm sure you are contributing more than enough and not being a burden to her financially.

user1476961324 · 26/03/2017 12:09

She's probably quite happy with that, if she hasn't mentioned she would like more.

If she's agreed to let all five of you live there, she's probably happy to be of help.

It could be nice to buy her some sort of occasional treat as a thank you (as I imagine if you give her ££ she will spend on grandkids or bills anyway...!). You could send her to get her hair done, pedicure - something like that?

KinkyAfro · 26/03/2017 12:13

Wow, that's a good deal. We're staying with mum at the moment and we're giving her £400 for the 2 of us, this covers more than her bills and allows her to buy herself things that whole wouldn't usually. We also buy our own food and weekends we buy and cook food for the 3 of us

KinkyAfro · 26/03/2017 12:14

Whole??? She

ImFuckingSpartacus · 26/03/2017 12:17

Why is the title of the thread rent, when you aren;t paying any, just bills?

Fluffyears · 26/03/2017 12:24

spartacus I'd assume the money is in lieu of rent and she's asking if she should pay some rent.

ImFuckingSpartacus · 26/03/2017 12:26

She's moved 5 people into her mothers house, I would have thought paying the poor woman some rent would be obvious? Why would you think you could live their rent free?

WeAllHaveWings · 26/03/2017 12:30

£220 for 2 adults and 3 dc sounds very cheap, how many rooms in her house are you occupying?

Where did you stay before and what were your living expenses (rent, council tax, utilities)? I think you are getting a very good deal and should offer quite a bit more, at least £400.

RainbowsAndUnicorn · 26/03/2017 12:33

I'd be offering a lot more, an extra five people is going to be making her life very different and restricted compared to what it was before.

Council properties can rake years to get so I'd be looking for any private rental and taking in extra work to cover the rent rather than disrupt her life for so long if it were me.

Bitchycocktailwaitress · 26/03/2017 15:20

To be honest this all depends on the circumstances (financially) of the mother. Maybe also she really wants to live with her DD and DGC?

TheNaze73 · 26/03/2017 15:26

Every set of circumstances will be different. On the face of it, the 5 of you are paying an incredibly low amount however if your Mum is happy with that, then it isn't a problem

ashleighxoxo · 26/03/2017 16:11

I think that's quite good for 5 of you. Myself and DH have bought a house but currently being renovated and has been for the last 18months so have been staying at my parents house. We pay £200 a month and buy our own food and do our own washing etc. (This is on top of paying the mortgage on the house) If your mums happy with the arrangement that's good :)

witsender · 26/03/2017 16:14

If we moved in with either of our sets of parents they would refuse rent. I would insist on paying for food and water though.

witsender · 26/03/2017 16:15

So it really depends what her financial situation is?

Original poster
Snoreborewhoreee · 26/03/2017 20:49

I've lived here all my life so never had my own place.. my mom does have some debts and so do we, I do give her other money if she needs it, I often buy her lunch and meals etc when we are out but I've read the comments and clearly see I need to pay more

OP posts:
redshoeblueshoe · 26/03/2017 20:58

snore - really you should just ask your DM. Most threads on adult DC living at home always say - but you shouldn't be charging rent its their home
It really depends on how she feels.

MidniteScribbler · 26/03/2017 21:19

You've never lived anywhere else, so I presume you have moved your partner in at some point and went on to have 3 children with him without having a place of your own. And you can't afford to rent your own house, but you can afford 60 pounds per month for television? Good grief.

Lostwithinthehills · 26/03/2017 21:37

I'll admit that I'm a little surprised that you have never left home but have acquired a partner and gone on to have three children.

So you have never contributed to the rent, you have just paid towards some utilities? How much rent does your mum pay? What is the cost of her council tax, home insurance, water? I think you should really be paying your mum at least half of the total cost of renting and maintaining her house. I think you should also be mindful that your family of five is causing considerably more wear and tear on the carpet, furniture, white goods and general decor than your mum.

I generally agree that parents shouldn't charge their just turned adult children, or temporarily fallen on hard times adult children, rent but you are a fully fledged adult with your own family.

Newtothis2017 · 26/03/2017 21:45

You have 3dc and have never left home???? You need to pay alot more. Your dm is paying for your family.

Original poster
Snoreborewhoreee · 26/03/2017 21:54

Yes I actually feel really awful now I've never thought of it like this before.. I have been on housing list for four years now but no luck

OP posts:
HermioneJeanGranger · 26/03/2017 21:57

Why did you carry on having children while you live at home?

stitchglitched · 26/03/2017 22:06

That amount would be fine if you were only staying there temporarily but you all live there permanently. Of course you should be paying your share of rent and bills! I don't understand why you haven't been able to save up enough to rent somewhere though if your outgoings are so little and you've been waiting for housing for years. Are you employed? Where is all your money going?

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