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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Rent

49 replies

Snoreborewhoreee · 26/03/2017 11:20

Not really an AIBU as such, but should I be paying more cos not sure I pay enough?

We are currently living with my mom, me, my partner, 7yo, 5yo and 5 month old.. we are desperately trying to get a house to get out of her hair but cant afford private housing so waiting for the council..
We pay £160 a month for gas and electric and £60 a month for tv, broadband and phone and we buy all our own food which we share..
What else should we pay please?

OP posts:
redshoeblueshoe · 26/03/2017 22:08

Maybe you should give the housing a ring tomorrow

Underthemoonlight · 26/03/2017 22:15

I agree with the pp it's a very odd set up to continually have children but no home to provide for them it's quite irresponsible of you and your dp. Surely in this time of paying so little you will have acquired as reasonable amount of savings to move? Is your DM a home owner? If not what would happen to you if something happened to her? You need to look at the bigger picture which is providing your own home and being independent for your young family.

Original poster
Snoreborewhoreee · 26/03/2017 23:24

I think I've just been really stupid no excuses

OP posts:
Bitchycocktailwaitress · 27/03/2017 00:37

Goodness what a hard time some of you are giving the OP!

Midnight, you were quite rude about the comment on £60 for TV!!! No it's for TV, phone and broadband. Perfectly reasonable.

Remember the baby boomers stole our future. They didn't intend to, but we in the X and Y generation will never see the property price rises enjoyed by the baby boomers. It's not exactly a surprise that some of them want to help out.

You know nothing about the financial situation of the OP's mum.

Orangebird69 · 27/03/2017 00:41

Blimey. I stayed with my baby ds at my DMs last year for a couple of months. I gave her £400 a month. That included my food but not my ds's. I think you should be paying her more...

WayfaringStranger · 27/03/2017 00:43

It's a "how long is a piece of string?" question. Some parents happily pay all costs for their adult children, some parents need their adult children to pay for what they use and some would otherwise have a lodger or downside, so need rent just to function financially. Have a heart to heart with your mum and see what she says.

WayfaringStranger · 27/03/2017 00:43

^^downsize not downside!

FreeNiki · 27/03/2017 01:08

My mum charged me double that amount when it was just me after uni.

Two adults and 3 children for £220 a month Shock

Is your partner working? If not, why not?

SparkleSunshine201 · 27/03/2017 03:14

I think it's far too small an amount, I was paying £550 per month to my mum for just me while I was at university with a part time job, and that was a few years ago! I don't understand how it happened that you moved your partner in and had 3 children while still living at home? Shock

ImFuckingSpartacus · 27/03/2017 13:57

Are you saying you moved your partner in and had three children, all without moving out of your mothers house? And you have never paid any rent?
Surely you must have saved enough for a house deposit or private renting what with never having any housing costs

Porpoiselife · 27/03/2017 14:48

This is really bizarre. Do either of you actually work? I don't understand how you moved your partner in, had 3 kids and still dont pay rent.

ImFuckingSpartacus · 27/03/2017 15:29

Remember the baby boomers stole our future. They didn't intend to, but we in the X and Y generation will never see the property price rises enjoyed by the baby boomers. It's not exactly a surprise that some of them want to help out

Thats about the worst excuse for taking advantage of parents that I've seen.

PhaedrusRising · 27/03/2017 15:50

Sounds like you have a great Mum. And you also sound like a good daughter, who's thought for herself whether she needs to contribute more. Also good to see some families still love one another enough and want to ensure nobody is homeless and that money isn't the only concern.

I'd talk to your mum about it. Does she pay rent/a mortgage? If so, pay a fair share of that. Or, alternatively, concentrate on paying down both your debts and your mum's debts quickly.

Chattymummyhere · 27/03/2017 16:16

Why did you not leave home after baby one? If you are only paying £220 a month plus food you should of been able to save a sizeable deposit for a house. I couldn't imagine my choosing moving partners in and staying long enough to have three children. Sure moving back during a crisis or between houses but to start a family nope.

NerrSnerr · 27/03/2017 16:20

Is your partner living with you too? Are you both working? If you've been paying so little for so many years how have you not saved up for a deposit for private housing?

PatMullins · 27/03/2017 16:24

I'm a bit Confused at having 3 children with your partner yet never having left home

Ecureuil · 27/03/2017 16:27

So you pay £220 a month... what is that as a percentage of yours and your partners income?
Surely you must have been able to save a significant amount towards a deposit/private rental if you've been living there your whole adult life with no housing costs?
We stayed with the IL's for a while as we had to move out of our house a few months before moving abroad. They told us they didn't want any money but we paid them £300 for the two of us and bought food on top of that.

PurpleMinionMummy · 27/03/2017 16:27

It's pretty unlikely the council will ever house you if you are adequately housed at your mums.

FrancisCrawford · 27/03/2017 16:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ZilphasHatpin · 27/03/2017 16:35

How on earth have two adults paying a total of £220 a month on rent and bills not managed to save enough for a deposit (and then some!) for their own place in 8 years??

BernardsarenotalwaysSaints · 27/03/2017 16:47

I'm struggling to see how you haven't been able to save enough for a deposit if that's all you're paying.

Dh & I lived with my in laws when we were expecting dc1 (7 year ago), we paid them £500 pcm as that way we were still able to save a sizable amount (I think we paid 3 or 4 months rent in advance on our house at the time), buy what we needed for dc1 (mil did buy the pram for us but she wanted to) & we were still able to go out & treat ourselves when we wanted. We don't live in a cheap area either. So less than half that amount, even with 3dc should leave plenty for savings.

MadMags · 27/03/2017 16:50

Hang on, so you've moved in your partner and had three dc??

Sorry but why on earth would you keep having kids you can't afford and expecting your poor mother to house you all?

That's disgraceful! Does your dp work??

You're paying absolute pittance and taking the piss.

PatMullins · 27/03/2017 16:54

I agree, you're taking le piss.

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 27/03/2017 16:56

Remember the baby boomers stole our future.

Nothing like a bit of exaggeration.

Hang on, so you've moved in your partner and had three dc??

Also this.

Do either of you work?

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