AIBU about overnight guest having her own overnight guest?

[AyUpMiDuck]

My third/spare bedroom is listed on Airbnb as a Large single room with a 4ft bed. It clearly states that the booking is for one person sharing a bathroom with me and my son. Victorian semi nothing grand. I've hosted a lot of guests over last 4 years without drama.
Last month I took an advance booking from a young woman (29) who had good reviews - polite and tidy etc. She said she was coming here - her old home town -for 2 nights to catch up with friends and would be going out in the evenings.
I wasn't home when she arrived yesterday I arranged for my DS let her in and give her a key. I had sent instructions by text asking her to bolt the front door etc when she comes in at night. I heard her come in at 1 am but did not get up. During the night I heard her bedroom door and the bathroom door open and shut and loo flush at 2.30 am, 3 am and then again at 5 am. ( I don't sleep very soundly and can do without the extra noise tbh). I sent her a text to ask if she was alright - I honestly thought she might have an upset tummy or food poisoning. No reply.
I got up at 8am and, as usual on a school day, started making breakfast. She came down to get a drink and to meet me. Then this: "I hope you don't mind my boyfriend stayed last night". Well I did mind . I was extremely assertive and said at the very least she could have texted me to ask. I also said: did he come up with you (ie from down south) she said yes. I said well, where did you think he was going to stay? She just kept saying sorry. When I pressed her she said he had been going to go back the same day but then he didn't. I reminded her she could have sent a text even if it was late.

AIBU to want to know who is sleeping under my roof at night?

What I find amazing is that there are plenty of places on Airbnb that are self-contained, or with an ensuite (and a proper double bed). Why stay in a guest room in a family house? I can't work out if she is gormless or really thought I wouldn't notice that she had snuck her boyf in. She is due back later and but I won't be giving a key out again.

We do Airbnb in our spare room. Guests get a key and can come and go as they please. However, Airbnb policy is VERY clear that the number of guests booked for must match the number of guests who check in and they are very hot on this. If you go into the reservation you will be able to select an option to get help and message Airbnb about it. You can then ask Airbnb to apply the additional charge retrospectively. I assume its clear in your house rules that guests must not bring any additional unbooked guests? Make sure you leave an honest review and say that she brought her boyfriend to stay without permission in a room clearly advertised as suitable for one person. PM me if you want any more advice, we've been Airbnb'ing our spare room for two years and it works brilliantly but you do need your house rules to be super clear.

YANBU that is not how Airbnb should work. I'm a guest not a host and I would never bring extra people back.

Sorry, I missed the key update about her leaving the additional £10 and a plant etc. In that case don't bother referring to Airbnb but do still make it clear in the review that she brought an additional unbooked guest with her without asking permission. Keep it polite and do comment that she left the room immaculate and paid the additional charge. No point in raising it only in the private feedback because she wont give two hoots about that because it's private. Private feedback is worthless in my opinion. And give her a low star rating for sticking to the house rules. Might also be worth commenting in the Do you want to tell Airbnb anything about this guest box too.

i quite like the sound of this for stop overs en route to camping holidays. do some places accept dogs?

the Airbnb system requires both hosts and guest to submit reviews before they are published so you can't wait to see theirs first. Some guests never leave a review which is a shame since it is about building a reputation
On this... it's not always the visitor who doesn't leave a review. Once I left a pretty good one (considering) for a place we stayed two nights. We were model guests with an extremely picky host. There were rules absolutely everywhere and I felt I was being watched all the time. But I appreciate I was in someone's home and I went with the flow. No shoes in the house, fine, I even bought slippers with me. We were out for more or less 15 hours of the day and I was hoping for a reasonable review too. I never got one and I think it's wrong that mine was allowed to stand whilst the host could ignore writing one for me.

Anyway I digress. I would have been absolutely mortified if I'd received a text asking if I was OK because of multiple loo visits. That is just so so embarrassing. One of our visits was for a 6 nations rugby match, my DH probably went to the loo in the night (quietly) many times because of beer. To know it would be monitoried would have been excrutiating.

Wrong of your visitor to bring in an extra guest but she did make amends and I'd put it down to experience.

I would always expect a key and we've always had a key! And I would not want to be ringing doorbells to warn that I was coming in! We treat Air Bnb's with great respect because it is someone's home but bottom line is... you are getting money for it and have to put up with people coming and going and loo visits!

LEM I'm sure there are people who accept dogs, I don't because I have a cat (plus I'd be put off by hair and smell = extra cleaning) but some won't mind at all

You can filter searches to include pet friendly places

I'm another one that would be mortified to receive a text about my toilet habits.
I am up a few times a night sometimes (hormones...). I'd definitely find it creepy and intrusive for you to text me.

God if I had a funny tummy and needed the loo a few times in the night I'd be mortified if the host text me asking if I was OK. Sometimes I just randomly need to wee a few times in the night if I'm having trouble sleeping I'd feel so self conscious to know someone was keeping tabs.

This is definitely part of what you're paid for. If you stay somewhere you should be able to use the loo as many times as you need! I also wouldn't appreciate you judging whether or not my toilet requirements were due to alcohol consumption or food poisoning - definitely none of your business!

She was unreasonable to have a guest but at least she paid extra. I would put this down to no harm done.

@theoriginalLEM we accept dogs in our Airbnb room! PM if you are camping in Cornwall

With a resident child in the house i'd want to meet the person myself when i hand over keys.....

CountryCaterpillar and me! I wouldn't want someone texting me asking me if i was alright just because i'd been to the loo more times than they'd liked!

Peonyfan

"What's wrong with him being in the house? He has paid, am I missing something"

Our daughter is a minor. Although she is old enough and sensible enough to be in the house alone during the day I don't want a stranger in the house with her without me or her father there as well.

Yes, he had paid for the room for a few nights. But we are not a hotel. It is our family home and we want to ensure a safe environment for our daughter.

We've had a few people who have asked to be in house during the day. He was the only one who hasn't been understanding of that rule. (Others have misunderstood other rules but that's a whole other post 🙄).

Also - when he booked the room he said he would be out all day, every day. Otherwise we would have cancelled him when my husband had to go away for work.

As I mentioned he was a student. I suspect someone older would not even have asked.

Airbnb hosts are allowed to set whatever rules they like, guests are allowed to decide not to book based on those rules.
If the rule is out of the house all day, presumably the price will reflect that. Someone who wants a cheap place to lay their head may be perfectly happy with those rules, someone else may not.
Airbnb isn't like staying in a hotel. The cost of renting someone's spare room will be much cheaper than a hotel and so the expectations are different. Most guests understand that.

Our next door neighbours now let the whole house through Airbnb and they've had some right pains in the arse staying there.

One occasion, when I twice had to ask the bunch of youngsters to keep the noise down, it transpired that the letting was to a man and his daughter. The owner asked me about them as it was obvious from the amount of refuse left behind that there had to have been many more than two people there!
I'd love to have read that review

If you say in your booking they have to be out all day every day then I think thats fair enough as that's the rules you've set (and prices accordingly).

I certainly wouldn't expect that though, I'd expect to be able to return home for lunch or to read etc!

Your guest was completely out of order bringing in another person.

However I do feel that paying guests should have the right to go to loo as much as they need to without being questioned. I tend to go to the loo at least once per night, usually more if I'm in non familiar surroundings. if you are woken up by someone going to the loo then perhaps you could advise people not to flush unless absolutely necessary, or wear earplugs so you aren't disturbed by it.

Our daughter is a minor. Although she is old enough and sensible enough to be in the house alone during the day I don't want a stranger in the house with her without me or her father there as well

And that is the guest's problem how?

Some of these rules are outrageous. If are happy to take the money, you can't treat people like that.
The price is irrelevant, I am not sure that some of the ones I have seen are much cheaper than a basic hotel anyway.

some owners on here seem to think that they are doing a massive favour for paying guests.

I jolly well hope that you make it clear that they are not allowed back in during the day. It's like hostel rules.

I couldn't work out if she was hoping guests would infer they should be out all day, in which case definitely unreasonable or if she'd already stated it in her "rules" before booking. I'm hoping it was stated
I'd find it rather a shock if it hadn't been!

I wouldn't stay somewhere unless I could come and go as I pleased during the day. It's not the 1950s.

I have just been on the airbnb forum. It makes it clear that you must specify before taking a booking that no extra guests must stay (although some hosts seem relaxed about it).

Thankfully, it is not seen as reasonable by the majority to ban guests from a space that they have paid for during the day.

The good host guide suggests not to impose lots of rules.

I am glad I looked in to this, no way would I ever use airbnb, too many control freaks around.

it never occurred to me to get upset about something like that. If I'm renting a space, I'm renting a a space; and unless there is a stated maximum time alotment, Id expect to use that space for 24/7 if that's what I wanted. Same goes for hosting. If someone books a room, it's theirs for the time they've paid for...and since I open the kitchen to guests, they can cook whenever they're hungry. I wouldn't recommend lying about zoning or other details like that. Perhaps your renter just needs a nice quiet spot to work from; away from a noisy office. Change your rules, and include all of your expectations and limitations

Oh come on now, AyUp, you're back-pedalling madly now.

You said nothing about slamming doors earlier, just opening and closing.

Yes she was out of order bringing someone back; she admitted that and has paid extra accordingly. But you are crackers to think it's remotely acceptable to text someone in the wee hours about their toilet usage and dressing it up as faux concern.

If you are easily woken by doors opening and closing, and jump at people coming in and out of the house you are allowing them access to, then you need to rethink your AirBnB business. No it's not a hotel, but it's not a 1950s guest house either.

Well it's all over now so thank you for being sympathetic about the extra guest.

I have to acknowledge the roasting I am getting for being strict, dated, old fashioned and unrealistic in my expectations that people open doors quietly during the night

Update: I left a review pointing out that communication about extra guest was lacking, but that she was polite and friendly etc. She left me a review saying it was a lovely place to stay with good facilities. The guest was obviously not offended by my text.
I would not have known about the intermittent nocturnal bathroom usage if I hadn't been disturbed by the doors noise. I don't care what she was doing, no limit, stay in there all night if you want , but turn the door knob -rather than pushing the door shut or letting it slam-

I will continue to host the lovely people that book with me. As I said, never had any drama before and get a lot of repeat business.

Thanks to all for your input.

You invented the door slamming afterwards, and that isn't what people said anyway. You still won't acknowledge how weird it is to text a paying guest in the middle of the night?