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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

"Do you mind if I watch porn?"

36 replies

Porn2929294 · 24/03/2017 08:38

I want to avoid adding too much detail but also don't want to give a skewed version.
Last night I was having sex with potential new partner (who I had a previous healthy sexual relationship with) and after sex and me giving oral (him not getting anywhere) etc he said "do you mind if I watch porn?"*

Personally for me this signifies the end of any potential relationship, sexual or otherwise (will remain friends) but I'm being told I'm overreacting.

*it was actually "do you mind if I just watch porn, but apparently he didn't mean to say that and he just wanted it to enhance what we were doing.

AIBU?

OP posts:
HecateAntaia · 24/03/2017 08:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

scatterolight · 24/03/2017 08:59

Grim.

TiredMumToTwo · 24/03/2017 09:01

Early stages of a relationship- this is a very bad sign! Dump & move on.

NC543212345 · 24/03/2017 09:02

That would really put me off someone. Don't care if it's being OTT, I just couldn't see myself going long term.

SansComic · 24/03/2017 09:05

I think I'd be offended and it isn't for me but...

  • I don't think all porn is bad.
  • I think it can maybe enhance sex for some people and some couples and who are we to judge.

I don't think there's any such thing as deciding that a relationship isn't for you. Of course, if children are involved then you owe ti to them to work through issues but, if you feel like this is the end then it's impossible to argue against it and it's better for both of you to say so.

If you'd like to continue then you could tell him how you felt about that comment.

There's no reasonable or unreasonable here. Only you can decide.

wowbutter · 24/03/2017 09:06

If watching porn gets you both off, enhances the experiences and you both like it, then yes, why not?

This sounds like a guy struggling to get hard with a real lady, so wants to use his sexual crutch to help. This won't get better.

EnormousTiger · 24/03/2017 09:10

Sounds like you're not compatible. Not a man most of us would be rushing after.... not that I even have anything against porn particularly. He just doesn't sound that great.

mistermagpie · 24/03/2017 09:23

I've nothing particularly against porn but this would put me right off! It sounds like he watches so much of it that he can't function properly in a normal sexual encounter. It would be a no from me.

elQuintoConyo · 24/03/2017 09:25

Yes i do mind. Fuck off home.

And that'd be the last i saw of him.

EnidColeslaw771 · 24/03/2017 09:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheUpsideDown · 24/03/2017 09:38

Errr, goodbye!

Blatant porn addict that can't function on a normal level without it anymore.... no thanks! Especially not at such an early stage in the relationship.

If you both mutually agree to enjoy porn together, then fair enough. But this just sounds like he can't become aroused unless he watches porn, and he just wants you to finish him off. Disrespectful imo, and just not something I could personally get on board with.

Joey7t8 · 24/03/2017 09:39

You say you were giving him oral after sex, which sounds like he'd already had an orgasm and you were trying to get him going for round 2.

If this was the case, then bear in mind that after ejaculating, all sexual desire is released. It can be quite hard (or not as the case may be) to get interested in sex without some extra mental stimulus, even if you're on the receiving end of an expert and enthusiastic blow job.

If he couldn't get or maintain a hardon at all without the porn, then yes, this is an issue.

TheUpsideDown · 24/03/2017 09:39

*couldn't

opticaltrixie · 24/03/2017 09:39

1/10

He gets the one mark for actually asking instead of just doing it. Very grim.

DJBaggySmalls · 24/03/2017 09:41

YANBU, if you dump him you'll dodge a bullet. 'Overreacting'. So its not ok to say no?
If you are allowed to object, next thing you'll be asked to participate in his fantasy.

BipBippadotta · 24/03/2017 09:42

Who's telling you you're overreacting? Is it him? If so, this sounds like a dealbreaker on two counts: 1. you seem pretty clear that this is not how you want your sex life to go (for whatever reason - if it doesn't float your boat it doesn't float your boat) 2. he doesn't seem to be acknowledging your right to have sexual preferences of your own just as he has his.

Miserylovescompany2 · 24/03/2017 09:42

Just get rid! THE END :)

laureywilliams · 24/03/2017 09:43

Ewwww.

Mulberry72 · 24/03/2017 09:43

Sorry, but as PP have said he probably uses porn that much that he's unable to perform without it.

I wouldn't be able to continue in that relationship.

EpoxyResin · 24/03/2017 09:44

Just to add to the chorus, that wouldn't work for me!

Moussemoose · 24/03/2017 09:45

If you don't like it dump him.

All the cries of porn addiction are ott though. It is quiet common for men to not orgasm after an intense sexual encounter. He might have just needed a little something else to tip him over the edge.

He might have an addiction to porn but there are lots and lots of other reasons why he couldn't orgasm.

I just worry people reading this whose partners don't always come might jump to the conclusion they are porn addicts.

TheresABluebirdOnMyShoulder · 24/03/2017 09:47

OP. No. Just no. This man is not a catch.

He basically wanted a super deluxe wank to porn with you providing the physical stimulation. Gross.

It sounds like he's watched that much porn that he can't get off without it. That's not going to be good for your self esteem long term.

Gallavich · 24/03/2017 09:50

Yuk. It would be a no from me.

tigerrun · 24/03/2017 09:53

Can't function sexually without porn and is basically saying that you don't do it enough for him to maintain an erection and he would rather become aroused by watching some other woman having sex in order to be able to have sex with you? All kinds of fucked up right there, eww.

'Yes I do mind, shut the door on your way out loser' would probably have been what I went with. Massive dealbreaker (& a bit pathetic really - couldn't fancy someone that inadequate after that!).

QueenofPentacles · 24/03/2017 10:07

He had just ejaculated. He would have needed porn/ Viagra/to be 18. Why were you giving him oral, did you want some more?
Sorry but it made me laugh.

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