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AIBU?

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Original poster

Mutton dressed as lamb

40 replies

DerFlabberghast · 23/03/2017 16:38

I absolutely hate the fact that I'm in tears right now.

I posted recently about some unkind comments about my weight from a 'friend' of my mother's, for background and not to drip feed I was in rehab for two months at the end of last year and so have significantly increased my weight to something healthy on the ol BMI. I am also in recovery from EDNOS.

Today I was charity shopping with someone and picked out a pretty top for summer, nothing spectacular just something light and a bit 'floaty' iykwim with strawberries on, she pursued her lips and said 'oooh, you're a bit old and...you know...big for that now.'

I was a bit shocked so just said 'oh, really?' And said 'it would be a bit mutton dressed as lamb.'

Now I feel old and fat and like all my work's been for bugger all. I also think that phrase is fucking sexist women can wear what they bloody want at whatever age imho. Anyway, I accused her of both bitchyness disguised as concern and internalised misogyny, feel shit but aware I might be overreacting because it's a very sensitive topic for me.

OP posts:
Original poster
DerFlabberghast · 23/03/2017 16:39

And she said it would be mutton dressed as lamb, sorry typing on an iPad.

OP posts:
ButtercupChain · 23/03/2017 16:46

Just ignore ignore ignore. Probably jealous of your awesomeness!

In my experience, people who make spiteful remarks are unhappy and jealous of you. And so are people who are miserable, and unhappy with their lives. Or all of the above.

I have never known a happy, jolly person who is content with life make bitchy remarks; it's always the miserable self loathing twats! Grin

Please don't let this get to you. And well done on your achievements! Smile

PickAChew · 23/03/2017 16:46

There's another phrase: with friends like that who needs enemies.

You're not over reacting at all. You woudn't even have been over reacting if you'd asked her outright if she thought you looked better when you were dangerously underweight.

Age is nothing to be scared of, btw. We all get older. I think you need to add this person to a list of people not to have in your life as your do get older!

Craiconwithit · 23/03/2017 16:48

Change your shopping buddies not yourself!
I'm fat and fifties and recently started exercising as I want to get slimmer but more importantly, healthier. I wouldn't dream of making such a ridiculous judgemental comment to a friend and if anyone said something like that to me, I'd drop them instantly.
Wear whatever you want to with pride. You don't need Mrs Bumhole's permission.

Arkhamasylum · 23/03/2017 16:48

She sounds like arsehole dressed as friend.

Mulberry72 · 23/03/2017 16:49

For you OP Flowers

Well done for getting through rehab, you must be so proud of yourself, and getting yourself to a healthy BMI too.

That was a horrid thing for your "friend" to have said to you, the old MN line of "Did you mean to be so (fucking) rude" would have been appropriate I think!

Keep your chin up and ignore shitty comments like that, I'm sure you look lovely Smile

Trifleorbust · 23/03/2017 16:50

That isn't a kind thing for a 'friend' to say. Conclusion: not a friend.

IamFriedSpam · 23/03/2017 16:52
Flowers

Where do all the people with absolutely no tact come from? Sounds like she's deliberately putting you down - I can't imagine ever telling a friend they were too old or big to wear anything.

RubyWinterstorm · 23/03/2017 16:53

Go back to buy it.

Wear what you like. Life is too short.

I just ordered myself a bold blue tube skirt despite my big old saggy arse... Wink...because I like it!

The whole mutton dressed as lamb thing is terribly antiquated. Good old fashioned misogyny....

Your friend was wrong. And rude. And silly. And probably full of insecurities.

dustarr73 · 23/03/2017 16:53

They are jealous of your progress.They have you in a box and they don't want you to be out of the box.It unsettling for them.Go back and buy the top and don't be listening to them.Jealous fuckers.

mumofthemonsters808 · 23/03/2017 17:05

Another " friend "with a nasty mouth post, I really wish people would think before they speak.Ive been on the receiving end of these type of comments and they bloody sting, I'd rather be slaughtered from head to toe by a stranger than receive a cutting, so called throwaway comment from a friend. As far as I'm aware, I never put anyone down, never mind one of my friends.Go back and buy the top and sod her.

scampimom · 23/03/2017 17:08

"Well that remark sounds like lemons dressed as sugar" so shove it up your chuff

ethelfleda · 23/03/2017 17:08

She needs a bitch slap IMO

MadMags · 23/03/2017 17:13

How to know if you're young enough to wear something:

Wear it.

Your friend is a knob.

LittleGwyneth · 23/03/2017 17:15

Please go back and buy the top. Please.

smd5018 · 23/03/2017 17:15

That is an atrocious thing for anyone to say to a 'friend' but presumably she is aware of your eating disorder? And she still said that to you? Seriously that's not tactless it's bloody spiteful, I would suggest you cut all ties with her. You do not need that kind of crap in your life!

ScarlettFreestone · 23/03/2017 17:16

Goodness me you need to start shopping alone!

The only thing that is important about an outfit is how you feel in it.

Everyone else's view is entirely irrelevant.

Genuinely, no one who was your friend would say such a terrible thing.

HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 23/03/2017 17:19

I think it sounds pretty and you should go back and buy it OP. Ditch the friend. And congrats on all your life changes! Amazing!

LellyMcKelly · 23/03/2017 17:21

Get the lovely top. Ditch the mean friend.

AnneTwacky · 23/03/2017 17:21

Agree with Dustarr. Your friend sounds like she's unsettled by your achievement. Don't let her silly comments bring you down.

Buy the top, I'm sure you'll look and feel awesome. ☺👍

pointythings · 23/03/2017 17:22

Ditch the friend. Get the top. You've done amazingly to overcome an eating disorder so you are clearly a brilliant person. Also your username is a Terry Pratchett reference, which is another indicator of someone who deserves much better friends. So treat yourself to new clothes and a new friend.

LaGattaNera · 23/03/2017 17:23

Horrible horrible - you ignore her OP a real friend doesn't say that!

I get tired of (occasionally) being told I should cut my long hair because I'm in my 40s.

The top sounds lovely - I love patterns of strawberries - where is it from? i'll get one if you do!

AHedgehogCanNeverBeBuggered · 23/03/2017 17:24

She's unhappy with her self, sees that you're getting happy and healthy and is jealously trying to stamp down on you. Ignore her, and CONGRATULATIONS on beating your ED and attaining a healthy BMI, that's a brilliant achievement. Flowers

Nousernameforme · 23/03/2017 17:25

FYI and so you don't start on a downward spiral. Mutton dressed as lamb has nothing to do with weight she was not calling you fat and you should not feel fat.
I have a mother like this and until recently i was caught up in all the do's and don'ts of clothes until i thought fuck it I'll wear what is comfy everyone else seems to

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 23/03/2017 17:25

Swap your friend for the top, you'll be much happier