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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH has some mates coming round...

57 replies

Eatingcheeseontoast · 23/03/2017 11:43

I thought he was out with them Sat night so I was looking forward to a night in on my own recovering from being out on Friday.

Turns out they are coming round ours. They'll play music, drink lots of tea as the reason they are not going 'out out' is only two of the four of them are drinking at the mo and the other two aren't big drinkers anyway. Old farts (well 50).

AIBU to claim the front room with the sofas, TV, Fire and cat as my own space for the night and leave them in the back room or kitchen. Hard chairs and not as cosy.

I just don't think they'll appreciate cosy....whereas me and the cat will.

OP posts:
PageNowFoundFileUnderSpartacus · 23/03/2017 13:47

The flaw in your plan is that if you're relying on the cat to do as you tell it with the note, you'll die of thirst/starve to death before you get any wine or cheese.

Or is it just my cats that are contrary sociopaths with fur?

maddiemookins16mum · 23/03/2017 13:50

I'd be thankful they wouldn't be drinking vodka, beer and my flippin wine and playing Pink Flood at 11pm with air guitars (yes DP, I am looking at you).
I'd go to bed with a bottle of wine, nibbles and a DVD and let them enjoy the lounge (as indeed is what my DP would allow me - plus he'd wait on us hand and foot, flirt slightly with my pals for a laugh, go out for more wine and bring us cheese and biscuits all on a tray at my beckoning). He'd then drop them all off home at midnight, half pissed (them, not him, and not complain about them screeching ABBA songs all the way to Dover). Gawd bless him.

Fadingmemory · 23/03/2017 13:53

YANBU about commandeering the sitting room. Not all old gimmers are farts, though. Some of us love a good time!!

PlymouthMaid1 · 23/03/2017 13:56

well if I invited my mates around (if I had any) I wouldnt expect OH to be banished from his own comfortable place so no NBU.

Bluntness100 · 23/03/2017 13:57

I'd be thankful they wouldn't be drinking vodka, beer and my flippin wine and playing Pink Flood at 11pm with air guitars (yes DP, I am looking at you).

We may be married to the same man,,,

Dahlietta · 23/03/2017 14:04

All my old man friends sit in the kitchen anyway when we go round., even though the lounge is free. One of my old man friends pretty much never sits down at all. If he says he's fine with the kitchen, he probably means it. Claim the lounge!

Original poster
Eatingcheeseontoast · 23/03/2017 14:06

On any normal occasion they'd all be down the pub drinking lots of pints (apart from the one teatotal guy) and talking crap while repeating Young Ones episodes to each other ad nauseum and bickering about their music tastes. On some of those occasions I would be coming downstairs to find DH asleep under a kebab on the sofa.

They'll be doing the same this time in the kitchen but sober....

I feel no need to flirt with them, provide cheese or otherwise. My DH would plonk himself down with us if it was my friends...if he didn't go to his parents.

Cat - no, he's a sociopathic little bastard = but he has to walk past the kitchen table to get to his foodbowl and someone might notice a note.

No cat in the bedroom ever.

OP posts:
Goodasgoldilox · 23/03/2017 14:08

[cat] on to cat's protection league. Shouldn't it try 'catline'?
Square brackets don't seem to work for me.

paxillin · 23/03/2017 14:15

Make sure to wear pyjamas and a bathrobe so they don't get all social and invite you to the kitchen Grin. Bonus points for hair in rollers and some green beauty product on your face.

SookiesSocks · 23/03/2017 14:16

YABU.

It must feel like a teenager relegated to the kitchen wjth his friends Hmm

Original poster
Eatingcheeseontoast · 23/03/2017 14:16

Well to be fair they'll be acting like teenagers.

OP posts:
SookiesSocks · 23/03/2017 14:20

Apart from the fact your DH is an adult and financially contributes to the home you both live in.

Is he not allowed to enjoy himself?
Its not like they will be steaming drunk fgs.

I dont understand controlling people who decide what a adult can and cannot do when its within reason.

Original poster
Eatingcheeseontoast · 23/03/2017 14:21

Where as the cat and I will be all grown up and sophisticated...in our pjs and dressing gown covered in cheese crumbs.

OP posts:
Original poster
Eatingcheeseontoast · 23/03/2017 14:23

Well I'm an adult and contribute to the home too. I don't really fancy being relegated with the IPad to the bedroom or sitting on my own on a uncomfy chair in the kitchen.

He'll have company on the uncomfy chairs and I can relax on the sofa.

OP posts:
OverthinkingSpartacus · 23/03/2017 14:38

Dh doesn't have friends round, if he did, it would be a one off as they always meet at the pub. But I do often have a friend or two here. Maybe once a fortnight. Dh will offer a drink if he's getting himself one when they arrive , have a bit of small talk, then fuck off in the bath for a few hours :)

If dh told me I wasn't allowed my friends in my own living room because he wanted the comfy sofa to recover from being out with his own friends the night before I'd tell him tough shit and suggest he goes into the dining room or upstairs... With a blanket and hot water bottle if he was cold :) Layout of my house means that if we were in dining room we'd be passing through lounge to kitchen every ten mins for drinks, going outside to smoke, getting food so dh would be more disrupted than if he went in dining room or upstairs.

Hangovers are shit though so totally understand why you're not looking forward to the evening. Yanbu to ask if he'd mind, but YABU to insist. Hangover or not, I wouldn't be hanging around waiting on them or flirting with them either, YANBU there.

OverthinkingSpartacus · 23/03/2017 14:43

Meant to add, dh is more than welcome to hang about when my friends are here, he's not banished off anywhere, and I've never asked him to bugger off. One of my friends sometimes brings her dog and dh loves it and will stay to play with the dog for our dazzling conversation.

SookiesSocks · 23/03/2017 14:52

Christ you sound an absolute pleasure OP Hmm

Your poor DH having to put up with you.

diddl · 23/03/2017 14:54

I had no idea that you couldn't go out if you didn't drink!

"Cat not allowed "

Sorry, absolutely cannot make sense of this at allGrin
neither can my cat

Original poster
Eatingcheeseontoast · 23/03/2017 15:07

DH is allergic to the cat - although the cat loves him best absolutely and unquestionably - so no cat in the bedrooms.

They could go to the pub, but I think they think it'll be cheaper to drink beer at home (those that can) and my DH has got fed up with drinking water down the pub and would rather have tea. Which seems reasonable.

I'm not sure whether my 'sound an absolute pleasure' is because I don't want to gatecrash my DH's evening with his mates or because I want to sit on a comfy chair watching TV rather than lying in my bed with an Ipad or sitting on an uncomfy chair.

Even if I'd gone out chances are I'd have come back to find them all in the kitchen anyway!

OP posts:
DistanceCall · 23/03/2017 15:10

I don't want to gatecrash my DH's evening with his mates or because I want to sit on a comfy chair watching TV rather than lying in my bed with an Ipad or sitting on an uncomfy chair.

It's his home too. Presumably he doesn't bring people over very often. YABVU.

Original poster
Eatingcheeseontoast · 23/03/2017 15:30

Tbh we rarely sit in the sitting room when we have people over. Usually we'll be in the dining room or kitchen.

OP posts:
YetAnotherSpartacus · 24/03/2017 11:13

DH is allergic to the cat - although the cat loves him best absolutely and unquestionably - so no cat in the bedrooms

LTB 😺😼😸😾

YetAnotherSpartacus · 24/03/2017 11:15

I FOUND THE CAT EMOJIS!!! 😸

Original poster
Eatingcheeseontoast · 24/03/2017 11:33

Well done spartacus! Grumpy cat ones are particularly appropriate.

OP posts:
Trifleorbust · 24/03/2017 11:42

It's his house too - why shouldn't he have some mates round, as a one off, and use communal areas? Confused

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