By not having ended my call when dh called for a plaster?

[ChangingStates]

Trying to keep this short(ish) so will skip the preamble...
I am on the phone to my sister (overseas) in the front room, dh is cooking. I hear an 'ow' & he calls for a plaster. I stay on the phone but go and get the plaster & antiseptic cream, go into the kitchen, still with my sister on the line but not actually talking to her- he has cut into the nail and skin below- not deep enough to bleed much and is not bleeding when he takes tissue away. I apply plaster, to lots of ow & sucked breath. I ask if he needs me to help with the cooking, he gives me a sarcastic "no, you carry on". He's obviously not happy so I go into the other room end the call straightaway & go back in. Repeat offer of help, sarcastic reply, a bit of back & forth followed by me being blasted for being rude for having come into the kitchen with the phone, for not having hung up straightaway and for not stepping in and taking over without him having to say yes to my asking if he needed help.

AIBU for not putting the phone done when I went in the kitchen or is he for not having just said 'yes' when I asked if he wanted help?

I know this seems petty but we are not in a good place and haven't been for a while so small things carry a whole backlog of feeling!

*IF you got some truth serum into him you would probably find that he cut his finger accidentally on purpose (hence no blood but lots of fuss) because you were paying attention to someone else. Then you still didnt give him 100% attention to him so he got even more stroppy. Does he often cook? I suspect he was expecting a cheerleading squad about how wonderful he was for cooking and instead you rang your sister....how very dare you!

Why the fuck are you bothering trying to sort things out with this pathetic passive aggressive attention demanding mantoddler?!*

This.

Why couldn't he get his own plaster? Is he six years old?

My DP wouldn't have even mentioned it until I noticed the plaster. Assuming I even did.

What he really needed was the wet paper towel - the answer to all ailments at every primary school in the land. This would have sorted the poor love out. Bless him.

I bet there are loads of other things that you doubt yourself on, or you don't even realise are unacceptable because they are just your norm. Care to share anything else so that we can help strengthen your resolve even more?

ChangingStates he sounds like a big old passive aggressive baby.

Read this en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gaslighting

Does he do any of that?

He sounds a big baby. You didn't get off he phone at first because you were not sure what tragedy had befallen him. I very much doubt a man would stop what he was doing because he heard an 'ow'!

He's being a massive passive-aggressive baby. You tended to his boo-boo, offered help, and he's still kicking off. YANBU.

Ex was like this. Huge ridiculous fuss requiring loads of attention any time he had the slightest injury. All part of a huge passive-aggressive picture which gradually became clear to me.

He also had a terrible disease which I inside my head called Mysterious Limping Ailment. It would always flare up when he'd lost an argument, I'd managed to avoid rising to his PA tactics, or he wasn't getting his own way. He would have terrrible foot pain and a dramatic limp, requiring lots of sympathy, being driven to GP etc. Strange how it came and went so frequently and if one of his cool muso friends or a female colleague needed a lift or help with moving house, it was nowhere to be seen

Your OH sounds like an immature, self-centred arse who sees you as having no other purpose than being his support system (possibly not fully consciously) and uses PA manipulation to punish you whenever you step out of line. If you're having problems in general then see if the bigger picture fits that theory.

Assuming that you'd have hung up if he needed CPR or something

This made me laugh out loud. Attention seeking nonsense. Obviously YANBU in any way!

What a baby! If he'd severed a finger/cut through an artery and was bleeding to death I could understand it.

Next time something trivial happens like this ask him sarcastically if he'd like you to phone for an ambulance.

What?

You didn't immediately hang up and rush in with the Minion Band Aids whilst making NeeNaw noises??

What kind of a Handmaiden are you at all?

Did he cut the nail bed? That hurts like fuck. Not much blood but really painful.

His subsequent behaviour wasn't good though.

LTB? Bit over the top!

Maybe you should have counselling on your own? You don't have to put a certain amount of effort into a shit relationship to be able to end it. Its ok to call it a day if you're not happy.

What a man-child! OP, I'd echo previous posters and ask you to really take a look at what this "man" is saying in therapy. I'd guess he's trying to put you down there, as well, and if your counsellor isn't on the ball, he could get away with it and make you doubt yourself more.

I'm not going to just jump in and say LTB, but certainly the pros and cons of this need to be considered alongside your other options.

I've seen bigger balls on Winnie the Pooh.

Ask him how he would have coped if you weren't in then tell him that's what he should have done then.
If his reply to the question is to ring you then ltb. I'm not even sure I'm joking about that.

Jaysis made me laugh out loud...

"What?

You didn't immediately hang up and rush in with the Minion Band Aids whilst making NeeNaw noises??

What kind of a Handmaiden are you at all?"

Snigger.

Aw the poor ickle baby man child.

Ffs he is a pathetic PA attention seeking fuck weasel isn't he?

I'm torn between laughing at how ridiculous and pathetic he is, and really angry on your behalf.

Although Jaysis had me proper laughing at rushing in with minion plasters making nee naw noises!!

Next time do that!