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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

If you could......

54 replies

ifyoucould · 21/03/2017 12:54

If you could change anything about your life right now what would it be and why?

Or if you had your life over again, knowing what you did now, what would you do differently?

Me, I would not be with my partner. He is a lovely man and wonderful father but I can honestly say I have never been in love with him.

OP posts:

gettinfedduppathis · 21/03/2017 14:07

I'd go back 10 years and send my dc to a different school.

cementedminds · 21/03/2017 14:08

I would not be poor and I would not be fat. Simple.

To achieve that I would have chosen a career I loved and would have been brilliant at, not sold my flat in London before it increased in value tenfold, married the love of my life instead of fucking it all up & I would have continued to go to the gym and not moved to some crappy backwater with no decent gyms and zero motivation to get off my increasingly fat arse.

Still, I feel lucky every day because I love my children and I wouldn't change that for the world (honestly true, despite seemingly negative rant above!).

Soon2bC · 21/03/2017 14:16

I would have told the woman I am about to marry that I was in love with her 2 years earlier when I had the perfect opportunity. It would give us those 2 years extra being happy together instead of miserable. However, I am a believer that everything happens for a reason so maybe I would change nothing so I could make sure that I would end up in the same place I am now.

FlyingElbows · 21/03/2017 14:20

I would not have gone to university and instead followed the path I wanted to. I would have ended my relationship with my mother much sooner.

MrsDoylesladder · 21/03/2017 14:29

I would not have MS.

hellsbellsmelons · 21/03/2017 15:05

I'd have worked much harder at school and got better qualified.
I wouldn't have allowed by DD to go and live with her dad for a little while.
I would also not have taken my recent Ex back 3.5 years ago.
What a muppet I was.
I could be much better off financially than I'm going to be.

PolarBearGoingSomewhere · 21/03/2017 16:19

I wish we'd stretched to buy a bigger house. We have a small 4-bed which I love and is perfect for our needs just now but I wish we'd gone for bigger to futureproof. I didn't want to tempt fate and go for a big family home in case we weren't blessed with DC3. I also (embarrassingly) didn't want to go for the biggest house we could afford as I didn't want our friends to be able to guess our financial situation

bananafish81 · 21/03/2017 21:19

I would not have gone on a trampoline at my friend's house when I was 13, and therefore not have broken my back leaving me with lifelong chronic pain

I would like to not be infertile and be able to have a baby (unrelated to the above injury) but sadly that isn't something I could have done differently

UnbornMortificado · 21/03/2017 21:28

All my shit decisions (and there was loads) led to my DD's and DH. The worst times led to the best.

I'd be scared to change anything that could change the outcome.

Topseyt · 21/03/2017 21:43

I would have stuck with my first job, instead of leaving it for another after a year in order to "do other things" and progress, as I saw it at the time.

I had landed on my feet with that first job but was too young and silly to appreciate it. I do regret that I didn't persevere. It really was right for me in a way that the next couple of jobs were not.

ThePiglet59 · 21/03/2017 22:13

Education, education, education. I wish that I had gone to uni as a youngster instead of waiting until I was middle-aged.
My life would have been so different.

LoupGarou · 21/03/2017 22:22

I would not have been such a stupid, matryr-ish twat and would never have broken up with my ex fiance. That said he is still my closest friend, and leaving him led me to DH which gave me my beautiful DS.

acornsandnuts · 21/03/2017 22:23

Be working in a Job that I loved and payed bloody excellent money.

DontFeedTheTrolls · 21/03/2017 22:31

To have used contraception.
To have studied and gone to university so I had a chance at a proper career.
To have not married the shithead (which I wouldn't have done had I used aforementioned contraception).

Thattwatoverthere · 21/03/2017 22:32

To have not got that first credit card at 18 that led to a spiral of debt and now paying it all back 18 years later. Such a waste of a good credit rating but have learned my lesson I suppose and only 4 years from being in a better position.

To have not broken up with my first love. We might not have stayed together, who knows, but I think about him a lot and realised not long after the split that he was the most decent man I've probably met.

To have definitely, never in a million years, not have got with my last ex who is continuing to mind fuck with me even now he's all happy with his latest one

TalkingofMichaelAngel0 · 21/03/2017 22:39

Bought the bigger house rather than the easy to afford house.
Not allowed my husband to come home after he walked out on us more than once . I probably shouldnt have married him at all, but then i wouldnt have my beautiful children.
I would have done a different degree subject and not paid attention to my mother's pressures. And a Different job. Which I hate every day but cant afford to tAke a paycut to leave.

OwlinaTree · 21/03/2017 22:49

I would have had a year out before going to uni. I was too immature in many ways to get the best out of it.

There's been various bumps on the path but they've made me who I am. I do regret not getting more from the uni experience though.

peachgreen · 21/03/2017 22:56

As soppy as it sounds, as much as I wasted a lot of my past I do feel that everything that happened led me to my DH and he is the most wonderful blessing I could imagine. I'm honestly not sure I'd change anything. Even to be thin, because then I'd be a different person and might not have met him.

I do wish I hadn't had a miscarriage though. Or that I hadn't got pregnant at all because at least then I'd be getting some help for infertility by now. Instead I'm back in the long, long waiting game for that year to go by.

Jakadaal · 21/03/2017 23:02

I would have been brave enough to be on my own instead of hiding in a sexless marriage

Seren85 · 21/03/2017 23:22

I wish I'd saved properly when I had the chance and not frittered my money away. I didn't even buy designer clothes or go on once in a lifetime holidays, just wasted money on nights out and going to every rock concert that ever came to town. If I'd been more sensible then I think it is unlikely that I would now be 32, struggling to pay off stupid debts and save a deposit which is also preventing DH and I starting a family. But, I did have an awful lot of fun I suppose!

Mummydummy · 21/03/2017 23:28

I wish I'd been kinder to people and not put up with unkindness to me. And not married that man. But I have my children so I cant complain.

Coastalcommand · 21/03/2017 23:31

I'd have had my baby sooner. I'd have worried less.
And I'd have taken a lot more photographs along the way!
But overall I'm happy the way it's turned out.

Deadsouls · 21/03/2017 23:33

I would have been more patient with my kids. I would not have been so hard on myself when I was younger. I needlessly put myself through a lot of emotional turmoil

Darlink · 22/03/2017 00:25

I should probably have never married

OhBlissOhJoy · 22/03/2017 00:29

I would not have gone out with my first proper boyfriend. He asked me out and I wasn't interested but he manipulated me and put me under pressure, clearly a narc as I can see now. And he set a very low bar for every relationship I had since. Having come out of a marriage at 45 I can finally see how destructive that relationship was and how I made the same mistakes over and over again.
I didn't even like him when I first met him

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