...and I'm wondering if there's something in it.
Bear with me, this is a long one.
I have been diagnosed with dyslexia. I tick most of the boxes.
I have also been diagnosed with dysthymia, a form of chronic, low level depression. I tick most of those boxes.
Both have been the bane of my life. I underachieve, I'm disorganised, forgetful, lose interest in stuff (sometimes quite important stuff), have brilliant ideas which I forget moments later, have trouble articulating my thoughts even though I'm pretty knowledgable and have an IQ in top 3% of population, can't motivate myself even with deadlines looming, have such poor time management skills that I do virtually nothing outside of work apart from basic housework and personal care and just trundle along in low level jobs which don't normally require me to 'check in' and concentrate.
So far so diagnoses.
However, in these days of cutbacks, even relatively low paying jobs, like the temporary, hospital admin job I'm in now, are pretty demanding.
I'm not just filing, finding files and stuffing envelopes, I'm generating letters, booking appointments, minuteing meetings (very, very badly) making phonecalls to patients, booking meeting rooms and more.
My short term memory is poor. My mid term memory is pretty poor and my long term memory isn't up to much either.
Someone asked me to do something. I took notes and wasn't able to do it immediately so put the note to one side.
I was just leaving my desk, when I decided to tidy up and throw away the confidential waste, task note included.
I only realised when I went to do something similar to what I was originally told to do.
I had to ask for all the information again so I could finally perform the task.
The staff I work with come into contact with patients. Children.
Children of all shapes, sizes and diagnoses.
One asked if I had ADD as I behave like many of the patients she's seen diagnosed with it.
I'm 49 and she deals exclusively with children. I wasn't thrilled with the question but politely answered no, I'm dyslexic.
She left me wondering, though.
Over the past couple of days, I've been reading about ADD and ADHD and her question kinda, sorta makes sense.
I tick virtually all the boxes for ADD. I tick virtually none of the boxes for ADHD.
At 49, I still have almost 20 years (possibly more) of working life ahead of me and I need to get a grip on whatever's hampering me.
After nearly 17 years on antidepressants which have done little for me and cause physical side effects which have required their own prescriptions, would I be unreasonable to go my GP and ask for an ADD assessment?