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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

is this enough to cause suspicion?

39 replies

Deedee3311 · 18/03/2017 21:29

To cut a very long story short, a friend who I've known for years I had a falling out with, something I don't ever see we can come back from. She went completely off the rails, she is extremely jealous and nasty towards me and it's happened before. Others who are aware of the situation have said I was mad to put up with her bollocks for this long and completely understood why I finally had to just say 'bye bye' to our friendship and her.

Anyway this ex friend is aware of my strained relationship with my in laws, in particular my mil and SIL, it is something I confided in her about. I won't go into details of the strained relationship, but I've put up with a hell of a lot over the years from them both and this ex friend knew all about this. Shortly after the falling out this friend kind of latched herself onto the inlaws over social media, she suddenly started liking and commenting on just about everything they wrote on Facebook (quite literally) and even her kid got in on all this Jazz, who barely even uses Facebook but suddenly began to. It was quite noticeable to myself and partner and also a mutual friend and it was just so blatantly ungenuine. Now this ex friend and in laws have met twice, quite briefly as well, but ended up adding one another on Facebook.

The other day mil,asked me if I had seen this friend, I told her openly what had happened and she is aware this happened before. Mil didn't say much other than 'oh god' and sniggered. The next day this ex friend put a picture up and mil commented on it telling her how lovely she looked. I thought it was a bit much really considering what I had just told her about this person and also that she doesn't really know her. I've also noticed that since this my mil has liked every single thing she has put on Facebook, so has my SIL and her husband. Now I find that a bit strange and I am wondering are they being a little bit fucking snaky toward me? It doesn't really upset me, I just think In my head this is another good and quite valid reason to just completely distance myself from the in laws altogether, but a part of me is thinking aibu?

OP posts:
highinthesky · 18/03/2017 21:35

Q: What would Maya Angelou say? A: "When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time".

Your MIL is neither big nor clever. Leave her to her own devices until she learns to grow the fuck up

BonnyScotland · 18/03/2017 21:36

they are playing a very immature nasty cringing childish game....... ignore at all costs ... do not look on FB.. and don't respond.. tell MIL SIL anyone nothing..... all your doing is feeding the Beast..

hold your head up high and walk on by x

Patriciathestripper1 · 18/03/2017 21:39

No you are not being unreasonable.
This kind of fuckery is Not kind and mil is giving you the finger. She knows how you feel and is still contacting this woman.
I'd have a word with mil ands ask her where her loyalties lie. But be prepared to go nc.

Annesmyth123 · 18/03/2017 21:40

Block the friend on fb and unfollow the in laws. Then you won't see any of the crap.

Original poster
Deedee3311 · 18/03/2017 21:43

I really like that quote. Quite right too about feeding the beast, I won't even mention that I'm 'aware' of what's going on.

OP posts:
Original poster
Deedee3311 · 18/03/2017 21:44

Still Feel like all these people are absolutely sticking their middle fingers up though.

OP posts:
LorLorr2 · 18/03/2017 21:48

Stay exactly your normal self, oblivious and cheerful even. Nothing would frustrate them more! ~evil laugh~

emmyrose2000 · 18/03/2017 21:49

They're definitely doing this to get at you. I can see why you're not a fan of the in-laws, even before this. They (and the ex-friend) sound like complete tossers. They would simply cease to exist to me. What does your DH think of this?

In some ways you have to laugh and realise just how stupid and pathetic they are. They definitely need to grow up.

TalkingofMichaelAngel0 · 18/03/2017 21:52

Delete and block.

Bluntness100 · 18/03/2017 21:55

t doesn't really upset me

PollytheDolly · 18/03/2017 21:56

Bunch of bitches!!

I'd go NC with the lot of them. Poisonous twats.

JaneEyre70 · 18/03/2017 21:59

What a lovely coven of witches they make. Unfriend, block, unfollow - anything so you don't have to see this crap. The best reaction when someone is trying to provoke you is no reaction at all - not the easiest I know but very satisfying when it works. Then they are driven to more extreme behaviour and look even more stupid Grin.

CMamaof4 · 18/03/2017 22:08

If they are pissing you off just delete them, I did, It felt great :)
That way their stupid games will cease to exist as they realise you can't see it..
People like that never change, I am extremely lucky that my husband went no contact with my in-laws years ago because they are miserable, horrible people but if you have to be around them then just act normal and limit your contact as much as you can..
People like that never change, Dont let them treat you like crap just because they are "family."
It says everything about them and nothing about you why they choose to live their life upsetting you. Don't let them, take back control x

Strygil · 18/03/2017 22:17

I like the idea of unfriending/unfollowing all those concerned in this childish nastiness. And if any of them ask you why, just say that you think Facebook is for people with no talent for friendship who have never grown up, and think that people are interested in photographs of their dinner plates and trivia like that.

Cherrysoup · 18/03/2017 22:23

Do your in-laws have form for being twats? Delete the lot of them.

FruminariaBandersnatchiosum · 18/03/2017 22:26

I am going through something very very similar at the moment OP and I have decided to totally ignore as other poster have said. In my case I am a bit green about FB but am astonished how, in my case, as yours, it is being used as a weapon and a devastating one at that. It's subtle and I can't tell anyone as I would sound unhinged but I know what they are putting on there is aimed at me but I know if I say or do anything, it will escalate tenfold whereas if I make like I have not been near FB in months, their weapon is disarmed. That doesn't take away the shock factor for me as to what has been said and done. If I said I was going NC with them because of it they would plead innocence and I would look unhinged that way - I cannot win but I will wait in silence because they will get over confident, over egg the pudding and then I will use that as my reason. I am one step ahead this way and that is my preferred position. Just wait. Be smiley and happy (for now) it will half kill them but they will overstep soon enough.

ellencherry · 18/03/2017 22:46

Twats who want you to notice. How pathetic of them.

Be glad you're not an idiot like them.

ellencherry · 18/03/2017 22:47

And yes unfollow if you don't want to block and also put them on a restricted view of your profile to avoid them knowing if you block which would probably delight them.

mumofthemonsters808 · 18/03/2017 22:49

Don't react, I know it's hard but don't lower yourself, simply block your ex friend and unfollow in laws.
Nothing unites people more than a shared enemy and from what you've said you are their enemy.They now how a mutual appreciation society, leave them to it.

ThePinkOcelot · 18/03/2017 22:50

Jesus wept. Facebook again!! Personally think the world was a better place without this bollocks!

Daydream007 · 18/03/2017 22:51

YANBU. Their behaviour is childish and deliberate. Ignore and pretend it doesn't bother you. Don't give them the satisfaction and rise above them.

Daydream007 · 18/03/2017 22:53

This is exactly why I don't use FB. I can't be bothered with all that nasty behaviour.

Original poster
Deedee3311 · 18/03/2017 22:55

If Facebook didn't exist then neither would 80% of the worlds fake people. People can't even be upfront anymore, they have to sideline people through memes and status updates.

OP posts:
wanketyblank · 18/03/2017 22:57

Ive been through similar with ex SIL and the toad my father choses to keep his bed warm. Pair of snakes who have joined arms and love to post memes that are vague to anyone outside the Immediate family but leaves me and a few others in no uncertainty over who they are aimed at. Sly, snakey behavior, liking and sharing shit just to get a rise out of someone. Happily my brother saw right through it hence the reason SIL is now an ex. Serves the trollope right. Hang on in there OP, sly cunts always get their comeuppance in the end.
I'm just hoping my father will eventually see sense and also kick his odious, fugly tramp into touch too.

CMamaof4 · 18/03/2017 22:57

I used to think the same as fruminaria, I did the whole pretending you don't notice thing, act normal, It just made me feel like I was screaming from the inside because they were so horrible, I was tolerant I ignored it all so instead they decided to make up crap about me.
The thing that I realised is, Is that if people really have it in for you they will look on anything you do or in my case don't do negatively and gossip and find ways to upset you. Because they are really usually very unhappy in their own lives or just mad.
You are better off out of it.
Dont worry what they think as what they think isn't valuable as they aren't decent nice people who are worthy of being in your life.

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