Why is he incapable of having one drink after work?

[countingdown2gin]

Long story short, I'm pregnant and tired and suffering from a cold, I know woe is me DS also has said cold and is feeling the effects badly today.

DH been lining up his drink after work (he works in a city a 40 min train ride away) by texting at 3 saying he's really stressed. Called at 5.15 while DS was mid meltdown, winged at how hard his day was and asked if he could go for a drink. I said yep fine will you be back for tea which he said yes to.

It's now 4 hours later. And I've battled a poorly DS to bed in an epic hour long fight. He can't even be bothered to text or try and rush home.

Is he the only person who can't just have one drink and come home?????

[BeMorePanda]

Is the problem he says one drink and has more, or is the problem
He is having a social life once a week with his colleagues?

Does he say "just one" or ramp it up during the day, because you'd object to him going out for drinks if he raised the subject earlier?

I don't see the problem at all with people having a night out. You need to ensure you get some time to yourself too OP, whether it's going out or doing something else, take some time.

Resentment becomes pretty toxic in a relationship.

Could you perhaps compromise - suggest he goes out for drinks with colleagues every fortnight, and spends every other Friday with you? This way he can drop the charade/dance of going for one, and you know what to Expect?

[Shoxfordian]

What do you mean he asks if he can go for a drink? Why does he need your permission?!

[witsender]

Who looks after the kids and does all the work while you 'do this' Trainspotting? And do you communicate when you are however many hours late?

[witsender]

Presumably because he is expecting his wife to not have any other plans, and be happy to cover his share of the work at home Shox.

[Shoxfordian]

Fair enough but surely if she had plans to go out then they'd already be in the diary or he'd know about them

[esiotrot2015]

me and dh take it in turns to go out with friends once a week as we don't have anyone to babysit
He went out last night so it's my turn next Friday
works for us!

[witsender]

It isn't just about other plans. It is about the fact he has responsibility at home that he is expecting the wife to pick up. So yes, i would be asking if the one at home was happy to take on my half of the work while i went out and had fun, yes.

[Trollspoopglitter]

Nonsense. Tons of my colleagues both single and married managed one drink after work just fine for years and years. Those who had young kids always only came out for a quick one pint and it was an eyebrow raising event when they stayed for a few on the summer Friday night or two.

I can't believe how many women are brainwashed into thinking their poor husbands can't possibly leave after just one.