I had a very complicated and difficult childhood (that is putting it mildly). About 5 years ago I decided to cut off all contact with my parents. My brother had left home about two years before, but was still in sporadic contact with them and the same with me.
The last time I saw him was 6 years ago when we ran into each other on a bus. We spoke for about ten minutes for about 12 months after that we very, rarely sent a couple of Facebook messages.
Our relationship trailed off for two reasons. First of all my life was very full, at the time I was uni, I was leaving with my now fiance, was working part time and I have always had a very active social life. The second was that my Brother is VERY unreliable. He was forever losing his phone (or not paying his bill and getting cut off), misplacing his bank card , going weeks on end without glasses and forgetting his social media and email passwords. All of this meant it was extremely difficult to stay in stuck. Eventually I gave up. I don't blame him for the relationship ending it was just one of those things.
Fast forward to about three weeks ago. My brother adds me on Facebook and messages me. We swap a few messages and it soon becomes very obvious that his life is pretty crap. When I asked him how he was he said 'exsisting but not living'. He told me he was ill (but not what with), he was on the sick and could not cover his bills and if he took much longer off work he'd lose his all together.The way he was talking I knew he was hankering for somewhere to stay. I spoke to my fiance and a couple of very close friends (that I consider family) at length about it and it was just not a possibility. For a start I don't even know what is wrong with him, he might just need somewhere warm and safe or he might need care, I really don't know.
When he realised this was going to happen he stopped messaging me. That is until he popped up last night. This time tell me how awful his financial situation is again. He was saying things like ''If I could just have the overdraft cleared for me' and 'I'm hoping to go back to work next week, if I just had the cost of my travel covered until I get paid again'.
He was definitely hinting for money. I screenshotted the messages and sent them to a friend saying 'He is asking for me' then accidentially sent it to my brother too.
He then starting saying 'I would never ask you for money, it would be a waste of time' When I asked why he said 'You would never give me it. I am sorry I am annoying you when have such a perfect life'
I the sent him a tonne of practical advice as to what he could do. If he did them all he would have a real way of getting out of his situation.
He then just said 'I'll leave you alone until my life is better'
The thing is I feel incredibly guilty. It is true that I have a pretty great life, I have a cushy job, I have a nice home, earn good money and have fantastic people who care and support me. I also have mental health issues due to my childhood and know his presence in my home could break me.
AIBU not moving in him and not offering financial help?