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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to send our neighbors a little something?

74 replies

passmethewineplease · 17/03/2017 13:21

We live in a semi detached house and the walls aren't all that thick.

I have three DC, two of whom regularly wake up crying in the night and are incredibly noisy. Like stupidly loud. They are a bit behind development wise and as such their understanding is a bit limited. One goes out of her way to make loud bangs and noises whilst the other likes to squeal. They're 2 and 3.

I'm really worried we're pissing off our childless neighbors. We are trying to discipline them accordingly and remove certain items which cause the noise but somethings we can't remove so we try to remove them though this creates a loud tantrum in itself.

Would I look a bit weird if I dropped a little something off for them? Just like a sorry about the noise at the moment and a little
bottle of something?

Or would they think WTF? I can't decide!

OP posts:

Schwifty · 17/03/2017 14:46

The earplugs are just a joke! From the title I thought this would be a parking thread and the neighbours were going to get a flaming bag of dog shit on the doorstep. I was pleasantly surprised

CrochetBelle · 17/03/2017 14:47

I'd pop in with a bottle of wine and say something along the lines of "If that racket disturbed you even a fraction of what it was to us last night, I suspect you need this" with a wink and an e

CrochetBelle · 17/03/2017 14:49

Ooops...

and an explanation.
Could be the start of a great friendship and support for you.

LadyPW · 17/03/2017 14:51

Cake definitely! With a note.
(Wish my old neighbour had thought of this when his daughter was playing (I use the term loosely) the recorder on a Sunday morning when I was trying to sleep)

danTDM · 17/03/2017 14:52

My neighbour has a brand new baby and leaves it to scream all the time.

I have not slept in WEEKS.

It is living hell for me and my DD.
A 'little gift' would tip me over the edge, frankly.

Say you are sorry, mean it and DO something.

ThePiglet59 · 17/03/2017 15:00

I'd be tempted to take the kids round.

whomovedmychocolate · 17/03/2017 15:00

Umm danTDM - sleep deprivation is horrible but that's pretty damn awful to blame the mum. Some babies are screamers. And I don't suppose they are getting any more sleep than you.

OP cannot stop her children having developmental delays. What exactly would you like her to DO? Gag them or drug them?

whomovedmychocolate · 17/03/2017 15:01

OP my NDN morris dancers with accordion music. I reckon that makes us quits for any noise which travels from my two And if you live in a semi, them's the breaks! But it's a nice thought. It's good to be nice to your neighbours anyway though.

whomovedmychocolate · 17/03/2017 15:02

Morris dancers

whomovedmychocolate · 17/03/2017 15:02

Dances

FeralBeryl · 17/03/2017 15:04

autocucumber

CrochetBelle · 17/03/2017 15:04

danTDM your post shows astounding ignorance.

danTDM · 17/03/2017 15:08

I blame the parents. Nowhere have I said 'the mum'. It is hell. I can't pick up or soothe this baby and they don't either.
It is appallingly awful for me and my small child. I am considering moving, really.

I am giving my opinion. That's all. If you are making noise, stop it. a 'little gift' would not be appreciated. Being able to sleep in my own home, will.

danTDM · 17/03/2017 15:09

astounding ignorance I don't think so.

danTDM · 17/03/2017 15:11

Yes, yes op take round a 'little something'. Better?

zukiecat · 17/03/2017 15:13

I think that would be a lovely gesture!

Maybe flowers, posh biscuits or cake rather than alcohol though

I wouldn't like a gift of alcohol as I'm teetotal, but of course if a neighbour ever gave me a bottle of something I'd thank them and be touched by the gesture, but the alcohol would go down the sink which would be a waste of the money

ChicRock · 17/03/2017 15:16

Rather than a little gift, your neighbours would probably prefer that you move the children into a bedroom where the walls don't adjoin theirs, and remove whatever it is in the room they are using to make loud bangs and having a tantrum over in the middle of the night.

danTDM · 17/03/2017 15:21

Quite, ChicRock

I have had to move my DD into another room as she has exams.

If my DD ever makes any noise I tell her to be quiet. I am very aware of TV noise etc. I am a thoughtful, considerate neighbour.

Luckily I rent and have money. I would dread to think what I would do otherwise.

AnnieAnoniMouse · 17/03/2017 15:21

DanTDM. It's hell on Earth not being able to pick up a crying child and comfort it, so I feel your pain from that POV 💐

However, how do you know they aren't picking it up & trying to comfort it? Maybe it has reflux or something? If you know for sure they're not picking the baby up & doing their best to comfort it, then you need to report this asap. It's neglect. But you'd need to be very, very sure first first because if it is reflux or something, being reported could push them right over the edge.

AnnieAnoniMouse · 17/03/2017 15:25

passmethewineplease.

That's a lovely thought. It doesn't really matter what you take, it's the thought that counts. Just knowing your (noisy) neighbours realise you're being inconvenienced/disturbed and are sorry for that, goes a long way. As does having some idea when it might stop, or at the very least know they're trying to get it to stop.

PlumsGalore · 17/03/2017 15:32

Yes do it! My neighbour ahs been having work done (she sadly was diagnosed with MND last year) of course we haven't objected to the endless carers cars and workman vans parking in our spaces and blocking us in for months.

It was however grateful appreciated that they have been round twice with wine and flowers to apologise. As a previous poster said, it's nice to be considered.

danTDM · 17/03/2017 15:35

Thanks Annie, I know, because it screams and screams and stops as soon as it is picked up. I can hear the mans voice soothing it at this stage. I don't mind the mans voice, it's the screaming child. It is very upsetting. Usually after a good half hour the man, or woman, picks up the child.

I suppose they are sleep training, but in a flat?

If the op has 2 and 3 year olds and I am facing this going forward I'm out of here.

Maybe I was lucky with my DD, but I am a firm but kind mother and I stick to my opinion on this

BackforGood · 17/03/2017 15:36

Why not give it away? Raffle prize or something, or even just to a mate. What a waste

- and I don't just mean because it is alcohol - I'd do the same with chocs I don't eat / candles / smellies / anything

Original poster

passmethewineplease · 17/03/2017 16:34

As listed dan I am trying. We remove noisy object from them and we remove them from the situation.

Short of moving there's not a lot else I can do, we do have some professionals involved at the moment so I'm hoping they will help us out a bit.

Thanks for your input though.

OP posts:

danTDM · 17/03/2017 16:42

You're welcome
Understand it is AWFUL for your neighbours though.
It can totally ruin their quality of life.

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