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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

MIL never replies to messages

37 replies

Pashworth · 17/03/2017 08:22

Whenever I send a message to my MIL she will take days to read them & never replies. I can see that she is online & comments on other people's posts on FB etc

OP posts:
LilacSpatula · 17/03/2017 08:23

Call her instead? Some people don't have messenger or don't notice messages if through Facebook. I'd certainly reply quicker to a text.

VivienneWestwoodsKnickers · 17/03/2017 08:24

So don't message her. She obviously doesn't want to communicate that way.

TheNaze73 · 17/03/2017 08:33

Ring her then

Pashworth · 17/03/2017 08:45

She has messenger., she has everything & replies to other people. I don't see why I should make extra effort when she cannot

OP posts:
VivienneWestwoodsKnickers · 17/03/2017 08:49

I don't reply to anyone instantaneously by any source except phone calls. It's not personal to that person, it's down to how busy I am or what I'm doing when they contact me. I'm not at someone else's beck and call, nor are you and nor is she.

If you know it doesn't work, don't do it!

Wishiwasmoiradingle2017 · 17/03/2017 08:52

Don't message her. . Lots of mners would love an excuse not to contact mil!!

KateDaniels2 · 17/03/2017 08:55

Ring her? Maybe she feels a message isnt putting any effort in.

Meowstro · 17/03/2017 09:20

If it's important then call her and stick to that rule. If not, try texting and if you get the same issue, don't bother contacting her at all when it's not crucial if she can't give you the courtesy of a message back.

Pashworth · 17/03/2017 09:22

Why so angry with the apostrophe! My my someone is full of their opinion being right

OP posts:
NavyandWhite · 17/03/2017 09:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Pashworth · 17/03/2017 09:31

All smiles and kisses 😐

OP posts:
skippy67 · 17/03/2017 09:33

Maybe she just doesn't like you that much.

HecateAntaia · 17/03/2017 09:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NavyandWhite · 17/03/2017 09:36

This reply has been deleted

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NavyandWhite · 17/03/2017 09:37

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HecateAntaia · 17/03/2017 09:37

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PenelopeFlintstone · 17/03/2017 09:40

In my personal experience, I've found that some older people don't understand about 'closing the loop' with texting and Messenger. So, they read it, think, "Ok!", and carry on but not reply. In the same way that you don't reply to a note left in the fridge or the kitchen table.

NavyandWhite · 17/03/2017 09:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

blueskyinmarch · 17/03/2017 09:45

How do you know she replies to other people? You can’t see her other messages. Do you ask specific questions? My DD2 only replies to messages if i ask her a question. Otherwise she reads and doesn't reply.

What are you talking about with the apostrophe? No-one mentioned an apostrophe.

highinthesky · 17/03/2017 09:53

MIL is passive aggressive and has subliminal hatred for you, OP.

Stop messaging her.

NavyandWhite · 17/03/2017 09:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

gnushoes · 17/03/2017 09:57

So contact her a different way. She may not really like messaging as much as you do. Or ask her?

DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 17/03/2017 10:08

If she can manage other technology it seems odd she doesn't reply to your messages.
Someone I know really has trouble reading her texts so she asked me to write in capitals which seems like shouting.

I often have my phone to hand but the times I have just put it away in my bag or set itdown and gone upstairs or outside or to the loo when it rings and so miss a call are too numerous to count.
I really hope folk don't think I screen their calls or deliberately ignore them. Blush I always scramble to ring or text back.

Allthebestnamesareused · 17/03/2017 10:46

My Mum doesn't actually know how you PM on FB and always sends so called private messages direct to people's timelines. I therefore never use that form of messaging if I am expecting an instant reply. she lives abroad and I have gotten my niece time and again to show how how to PM and where my messages will be but to no avail. I am sure its not personal.

Pick up the phone and speak to her if you need to.

Pagwatch · 17/03/2017 10:51

What was the apostrophe and 'my my' post all about?