To despise living alone??

[Toobloodytired]

Posting here for traffic.

Have just moved to a 2 bed flat ready for the birth of my baby next month.

Family helped & stayed for a bit afterwards, now I'm alone & actually just want to sit & cry!

I've got the tv on solely for background noise but honestly I hate not living with another adult!

Just want to pack my stuff back up & move back in with my dad --I'm 26 btw so am too old to be living with daddy! And of course having a baby soon!

Tell me il get used to it, this is the first time I've had my own place but on my own, completely without anyone else!

Ex is the father but we aren't together and haven't been for 4 months nearly.

I'm kind of glad I moved before the baby came so I can somewhat get used to it on my own.

I'm having the cot in my room right next to the other side of my bed (something I wouldn't have been able to do had my ex stuck around!)

I also have a rocking chair in the room so I don't have to leave when the baby wakes up! (Something else I wouldn't have been able to do had my ex stuck around!)

It's funny really, now I've got my own place I am starting to realise all of the things I wouldn't be able to do if I lived with my ex.....simply pottering around would be one of them, he used to moan if I got up to go toilet in the middle of the night as it "inconveniently woke him up" this was BEFORE I started needing to go around 5 times!

He would obviously be going to bed at a somewhat "decent" time and expecting me to!

Ah, there we go, more pros than cons!

Much much more.

Just need to give myself time to get used to it. Have my brother staying tonight.

Yes! Keep on the positives, love the idea of a rocking chair. the flat is big enough to have visitors stay and the company will be needed when the baby arrives (so long as they pitch in and help which I'm sure they will). Your family sounds loving and supportive, and that is another positive to cherish and remind yourself of.

I missed discussing TV programmes, when on my own, but I'm a lurker and sometimes contributor to the telly addicts board on Mumsnet.

Best of luck!

I found it very daunting when I first lived alone. For about a week or so. I was 21 and unsure I'd made the right decision. Now I absolutely LOVE it. I love having my own space that's just mine. I know where everything is. It's tidy and clean and doesn't take much to keep on top of because there's no one messing it up. I think I'd really struggle to live with someone now!

Just think you'll soon have your lovely baby and you can just snuggle all day and have no one else to please except yourselves x

I don't like it and nor do most people.

Utter nonsense. I lived alone before getting married, and I absolutely loved it. Living alone and being single are 2 different things though, it sounds like OP is struggling with both, which is understandable.

Have you been to prenatal classes? It's a nice way to meet other mums to be. They will probably have a partner, but they still go through most of the same thing, and will be out of work too, sooner or later. Once you have a baby, it's so easy to socialise if you feel isolated, there are baby groups, baby cafes, baby clubs.. If you want to meet other mums, there are great places. Not everybody's cup of tea, but worth a a try.

Completely agree.

Have my brother here tonight, he's been very spoilt with various different foods he wanted!

He's now on the sofa watching tv before bed.

It's nice to know there's washing up to do & there's no one to moan at me for leaving it until tomorrow!

Went to hospital today for a follow up, being induced next Saturday! it's all bloody real now! Can't believe it.

So much support, mum came with me today.

I've got a sofa bed so when the baby goes into his own room, I can still have people to stay!

Hopefully il settle in soon

Point

Had I said 'you do not like living alone' you would be correct.

Your point of view, however, is not 'most people.' Statistically, most people prefer to live with at least one other person.

I can't think of anything worse than living with someone 😂😂😂
Moved out at 16, lived in halls of residence in my own room then lived alone from 23

I live on my own now for the first time in my life and I love it.
Do what you like, eat what you like, sit in your pants if you like.
It is odd at first, but you soon get used to it.

Statistically, most people prefer to live with at least one other person

said who?
Statistically, there are more people living alone than ever (look at the USA or Sweden). Do all these people really hate it?

Statistically, most people prefer to live with at least one other person

Lavender, PP have questioned your statistics and you've not responded. The only statistics you've shown so far are % of people that live alone and live with others. This does not tell us if people prefer their arrangement and so does not support your comments that most people prefer to live with others.

By all means please share with us the statistics/study that has analysed people's preferences on living with others or living alone.

Toobloodytired - I think you'll be fine. Keep thinking and doing the positives. As a pp said, do all you can to make new mum friends to get through the first year together.
It's great you got your family around, and your flat sounds like a great space for you and baby and to have visitors.

I lived alone for a couple of years when I split up with her boyfriend at 23 (actually, we were together for 7 years, moved in together when I finished uni then split up three weeks later!). The first week was tough... then I loved it! Genuinely couldn't understand why more people didn't do it.
On that note, surely a lot of people live with other people because they can't afford to do otherwise? Not because they prefer living with others?

Look, I'm not criticising anybody living alone :) and nor am I saying that everybody living alone hates it.

Let's say that 13% of people go to Italy every year on holiday while 87% go to Spain. Out of the 87% who go to Spain, it's entirely possible many are longing to go to Italy, but still, Spain is the more popular destination by a huge majority.

There is often an assumption on here that living alone is wonderful ("you can do what you like!") and free and filled with days watching what you want on the TV and nights sprawled in a double bed. Understandably, most people don't live alone so see it as a novelty.

There is however a flip side. It can be lonely, isolating and depressing (note I said 'can be', not 'is'.) It is almost certainly more expensive. Endless posts about how wonderful living alone is can be difficult when you are struggling. Mine is just an acknowledgement that it isn't all eating what you want whilst watching what you want on television.

Your description of the pluses and minuses of living alone is fine.

Your claim that you have statistics to back up your preference is not.

People who go on holiday to Spain, most of them could go to Italy if they wanted. It costs about the same. It's a similar travel time.
Some might have no choice if they are visiting family or if they hate to fly, but the majority will have made a free choice.

Most people's living arrangements are not a free choice.
Many cannot afford to live alone, even if they would like to.
The OP would prefer to have stayed living with her dad, but it's not possible.
Once she has her baby, she will not longer be a one-person household in the statistics, but she may still consider herself to be "living alone".

We can only say that people's situations reflect their choices and preferences if we think that a good number of them are able to make a free choice. In the issue of housing, choices are too restrained to make this link.