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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want a new bed as DH has shagged an x girlfriend in ours!!

64 replies

Twinkie1 · 05/03/2007 11:53

It was before he met me so not as dramatic as it sounds - but I have an issue with this - I want a new bed - we are married and have never had a bed that he hasn't shagged someone esle in!!

He has just said that if we don't get what we want for our haouse it means we will be broke and I may have to do with the bed for a little longer!!

Over my dead body will we - even if I have to put it on my credit card we will be getting a new bed..........

I am so disappointed that he doesn't think this is an issue - I am sure if I had wanted to bring my ex marital bed with me he would have had a coronary!!

OP posts:
KathyMCMLXXII · 05/03/2007 11:55

Wouldn't a new mattress do?

doggiesayswoof · 05/03/2007 11:56

No you are not being unreasonable! If I were you, I would get a 0% credit card (M&S one is 0% for a year) and stick it on there. When we moved in together I think the bed was the first thing we bought - big priority for it to be 'ours'.

NAB3 · 05/03/2007 11:58

A new mattress is a good comprimise but I totally get where you are coming from.

Overrun · 05/03/2007 11:58

I think I know what you mean, there is something special about the bed, not just about sex, but talking etc
We concieved all our children there..

ChippyMinton · 05/03/2007 11:58

Not unreasonable, i made do with a new mattress though.

Muminfife · 05/03/2007 11:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Piffle · 05/03/2007 11:59

would not bother me tbh

KathyMCMLXXII · 05/03/2007 11:59

My dh's ex girlfriend bought him his wok. For some reason my mum is really shocked about this.

Original poster
Twinkie1 · 05/03/2007 12:08

We ok on the wok front thanks - I bought that!!

Good glad most of you at least agree with me- have seen a beautiful bed in ILVA and I may go and buy it at the weekend now. It was his girlfriends house too that we live in - she moved out before I met DH so buying our house together is a really big thing and i would really like us to have a proper marital bed not put up with one that they had together - oh their were 2 women in between her and I so its not just his old full time girlfriend!!

He says we need a dishwasher more than we need a new bed because we are having to leave our integrated one!!

OP posts:
Muminfife · 05/03/2007 12:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

deaconblue · 05/03/2007 12:36

Don't think it would bother me at all. We slept in dh's old bed which had had plenty of action I think for about two years before moving to a house which was too small for a kingsize. I never thought about its former life TBH. My sis and BIL now sleep in much used bed LOL.

Original poster
Twinkie1 · 05/03/2007 12:50

We don't run a catering business but our dishwasher broke a few days ago and cost £108 to be fixed - I stumped this up afetr listening to DH whining about having to wash up - I thought it was quite nice to stand and wash up together and have a chat about the day - DH said he would prefer to sit on the sofa and have a chat - oh and he got very sore hands after 4 days of having to wash up!!

I just think now that we are married and are going to have ahouse that we chose together we should have a bed that hasn't had anyone else shagging in it except us.

My aunt is going to see DH this weekend and have a go at him when she married my uncle she made him get rid of everything in the house and buy new and decorate every room and they didn't have a bean because it had all been his and his ex wife's - think I am being more than reasonable when it comes to it!!!

OP posts:
LieselVentouse · 05/03/2007 12:59

I would go out and buy one and explain to everyone why I did it.

Blu · 05/03/2007 13:01

Not if you think it also reasonable that you both get fanjo and male-fanjo replacements, as presumably you have both used your bodies to shag exes?

twelveyeargap · 05/03/2007 13:02

Wouldn't bother me. Actually, "doesn't" bother me. DH was with at least two other women in the bed we use. He was dating one girl (who still works in his office) when I met him. I put a matress protector on it when I moved in with him. That's it.

I'm the one he's married to - why should I be worried about a few shed skin cells?

twelveyeargap · 05/03/2007 13:03

@ Blu. Very true.

exbury · 05/03/2007 13:03

I did concede keeping the bed DH and his ex-girlfriend had - but only in the spare room. Go for it - you can get lots of years of interest free credit on beds!

jasper · 05/03/2007 13:11

Yes I think you are being unreasonable.

jasper · 05/03/2007 13:12

blu !

RantInEminor · 05/03/2007 13:25

Don't really see the problem and think Blu's post makes a point. Also does your kitchen table belong to him, your sofa, the living room rug? There are other places to shag than a bed.

Also, the idea that you would put yourself in debt for this is bizarre.

Sobernow · 05/03/2007 13:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bran · 05/03/2007 13:29

I sympathise with the sore hands as washing up liquid gives me painful dermatitis, so make sure you buy some rubber gloves when you're buying that new bed.

Have you found the house you'll be moving to yet? It might be worthwhile waiting to buy a bed until you know what your new bedroom is like.

kslatts · 05/03/2007 13:35

I wouldn't have an issue with this and agree with blu's post.

BandofMothers · 05/03/2007 13:43

I agree with you. New marriage, new house, new bed. It's a nice idea.
You don't NEED a dishwasher.
My bed only cost 400 inc mattress. Depends if you're fussy about what type of bed.
Would probably compromise with new mattress. As that's what you lay on really.

My friends exh cheated in her bed on the night she had ds. (Scum)
She took a knife and hacked the mattress to pieces and made him buy a new bad. He made plenty of money tho.
Then she left him anyway.

mytwopenceworth · 05/03/2007 13:50

i dont think its unreasonable at all. i did the same.

mind you, i also wont allow us to go to brighton because dh went there with his exfiancee (sp) , so it could be argued i am a tad oversensitive!

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