Am I denying my child a better future

[LoriD]

I am very confused at the moment so back story been with DP 10 years, not married and have one dc. I currently have a degree but due to lack of experience in that area I've struggled to get a job from it. At the moment I'm in a comfortable part time job that allows me to live ok and see dc a lot. We currently private rent in a small 2 bed house which is a bit mouldy and needs repairing etc.

So I decided to apply to do another degree which includes lots of placements and will set me up with a career for life. I just attended the final interview and so will find out in may if I got a place. So I've a dilemma

1. Go to uni which may take 2/3 years, leave work and stay out in this rented house. However, will end up with a career I'll love and will benefit from in the long term.

1. Don't attend uni yet and have another baby, save for a wedding and buy our own house at the start of next year.

I could easily apply for uni at a later date but with two children it won't be so easy and the application process if so difficult that I can't believe I've just been through it.

My dp has suggested if I get into uni then he will get a house in his name only which i am strongly against so I said no, he has stated then he will go and get a house on his own name anyway ( I do not want to be in that position at all). Plus he won't get as good a house as if we both applied together.

So what do I do.

Do you have a career in mind that you want to go into? Most vocational degrees will allow a PGC as a top up, which can usually be done just one day a week over a year. There may not be any need to do a whole other degree, or give up work...

If you're co-habiting or married
Please get legal advice as I do not think these are treated the same way.

Would you be better off from student finance if you weren't married?

Plus some universities (I'm at Nottingham Trent) do distance learning so all lectures are available online and coursework is submitted via dropbox. You can now also get postgrad student loans for distance learning, the interest is higher than it used to be but you can get 10k over two years for a masters.

If you have your heart set on doing another degree - why not do a masters in your chosen field as that is more likely to help with promotions in the future too.

You could probably be put on the mortgage and deeds, but it may affect the amount that your DP can borrow as he'll be down as having three dependents on his income - I know they did this with us.

If you want to be on the deeds of the house but not on the mortgage, I think the lender will have to give permission so I would check this out before parting with any money for fees!

You really need to check that you will get funding for this degree. I appreciate you are in NI so it might be different but in England you would not get a tuition fee loan for another undergraduate degree let alone a maintenance loan. I see this repeatedly in my job (but as I say I am in England). You may want to look into a Masters in Social Work. You could then be eligible for a postgraduate loan of up to £10k which should cover your fees but probably not leave a lot left to support you. The NHS also offers bursaries to some Social Work masters (dependent on the university and being chosen by the university to be put forward for it).

1. Definitely. You'd be crazy not to.

dumbstruck is it ok to pm you about your course?

He does want a house with me but if I'm at uni then I won't have a job, no proper income therefore can't do a joint mortgage application"

Rubbish. I have a joint mortgage with dp and didn't work.

I also have my name on the deeds.

Get married asap, cheaply

Get a joint mortgage

Do option 1

Doing yet another degree seems like a very bad idea to me when you haven't used the first one.

Thee must be a better way of becoming a social worker than starting all over with a new degree.
You already have a degree in sociology so surely you just do a postgrad?

I would think very carefully about going for a career in social work. I have an MA in Social work. Social workers are leaving the profession in droves. Caseloads are too high, stress levels are high, pay freezes and a quick google suggested 20% of vacancies are unfilled.

Jingle's point was in my mind, but I couldn't bring myself to say it.

It would be the thing that would put me off the further study and make me stay put and keep earning for now.

However, not everyone feels that way and if you still want to study then I would still take my original approach.

Is it a post grad degree you are thinking of? Might be worth it in that case.

People are really slating your poor DP who hasn't done anything wrong and sounds really nice!

Having your name on the deeds of the house is completely different from being named on the mortgage.

Havent read it all but OP anyone can be on a mortgage as long as they fit the credit and age and other criteria, you do not need to have an income to be on a mortgage. I do lots of mortgages for a sole earner with a partner as a stay at home parent etc.

Also the deeds have to match the mortgage so if you're not on the mortgage you can't be on the deeds..however you can do a deed of trust which is a process through a solicitor.

I would find out more about the value of doing a second degree. Are you sure there's not a post-grad course or conversion course you could do in the field you want to go in to?

Get married next week then - that means no matter whose name the house is in if you split up you are entitled to a fair share each. Go to university. You could have the second baby too whilst studying presumably after you are married.

Mortgage companies just about always want the owners of the house on the mortgage.

Dp is happy with whatever I chose to do he's being supportive about everything. I want a house as much as him but I want to be named on it. We are both fed up living in this rented house which is why he said about getting one in his name alone if I went to uni.

My mum passed away a few years ago followed by my grandparents and family means a lot to me so I want a nice wedding and invite the whole family to so I don't want to rush that.

I don't quality for a master social work and even if I did a master or post grad wouldn't give me he experience I need to do social work whereas the courses I am applying to now consist of placements etc.

The main one I applied for is the two year graduate route so fingers crossed for that one.

I have check student finance and yes I will get that ok.

My part time job is mornings so no I can't keep that on whilst at uni but I will look for evening and weekend jobs.

Just because he wants to get a house doesn't mean he's not supportive.

Social work in Ni is very strict so there's no conversion courses or anything like that. My previous degree is pretty useless but I only done it at the time as wasn't sure what I truly wanted to do

I don't think your DP has done anything wrong, and I do think he sounds supportive. He just isn't clued up yet on some of the legalities of property buying but is still trying to find a way forward with it. We were all there once, and in pre-internet days finding out what we were entitled to without going straight to the solicitor was much harder.

I think both of you are working towards securing the financial future of your family and it is good to be asking questions now.

I would say though that some potential pitfalls have been discussed on the thread. Not pleasant, but always worth being aware of. Some people have been stung or know someone who has, and are pointing it out.

I'd do #2, but then I'm not interested in a career and have a very supportive partner.

Of course you can do a joint mortgage even if you've got no income. It will go on his income and your joint outgoings and be in both names. So if that's the only issue it's not an issue. Obviously you'd be able to borrow more if you were working too.

If you want to stay with do, get married now. Having children first and marrying later leads to difficult legal situation.