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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Anyone up? DP has just come in and thrown up all over the bedroom

316 replies

deshi · 14/03/2017 05:29

He had a night out last night, one of his friends who isn't in he country often had come over so he went out. He has work tomorrow and he tried to get out of the night out but the friend was insistent (I know this is true). Anyway he rolled in about an hour ago (fine) but woke me up slamming doors and then I woke up to the sound of him being sick all over our bedroom carpet.

It's all over the carpet and he's blocked the bathroom sink and he's do drunk I could barely wake him as he was vomiting everywhere. I've obviously had to get up and get on my hands and knees and clean the sick up he has barely an idea of where he's at its revolting.

I've spent about 40 mins cleaning when I should have been asleep. I've finally finished and he's got back into bed and has asked why I won't join him - I don't want to smell sick as I'm sleeping and even though I've cleaned the carpet he needs a shower.

Had this happened to anyone else? He is usually such a great partner just can't handle his drink at all and he has to be at work early tomorrow so now I'm worried I'll have to force him out of bed in a couple of hours and not sure what state he will be in.

OP posts:
Sylvannas · 14/03/2017 13:03

Go to the gym. Take yourself out for a lovely day of lunch and pampering. He will feel more guilty about what he's done if he's left alone with his thoughts.

Alice212 · 14/03/2017 13:05

Well Flogging, the amount I've seen of it has been forgiving...I'm glad there are workplaces that are not forgiving!

if I added up all the free days that hungover people have had that didn't go on their sick tally or holiday day, I'm owed several. Meh.

ilovesooty · 14/03/2017 13:11

If he's sacked for misconduct it's his own fault.

thisgirlrides · 14/03/2017 13:21

I'd be seriously pissed off too op but I'd just go back out for the day and leave him to it. Whatever he says or does will either irritate you (with just cause!) or end up in an argument so save anything you want to say for tomorrow when he's sober & not still hungover.

TheHodgeoftheHedge · 14/03/2017 13:44

Did I see that he only started this job in January? In which case he's probably still on probation (most places have a minimum of 3 months these days). If I had taken any sick leave apart from truly dire circumstances during my probation I would be very worried about passing it (and I wouldn't have been paid for that sick day), plus I've seen people, in my profession and others, who are good workers and have been somewhere for 5 years threatened with a disciplinary for calling in sick after a night out.

milliemolliemou · 14/03/2017 14:39

Just make sure he has gallons of water. And a bucket.

Presumably he won't need to be nannied into a shower?

Any more news, OP?

DesignedForLife · 14/03/2017 14:40

What a numpty. Who goes out on a school night?

Any news OP?

WipsGlitter · 14/03/2017 15:16

I think you need to relax a bit. He's been a dick but it's not the end of the world.

Coverup890 · 14/03/2017 15:40

I would have to say my dp wouldn't do the same for me. Neither of us drink but once when i had a sickness bug and so did one of the dcs he said they had been sick on their bedroom carpet he told me it was sorted. Turns out his idea of sorted is putting a towel over the sick. Angry

expatinscotland · 14/03/2017 15:54

'So many woman still believe this type of shit is normal. How many of your male partners would be cleaning up vomit and stressing about your job?'

Yep. So many about men pissing or shitting all over the place, too.

Rubberubberduckduck · 14/03/2017 16:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RhodaBorrocks · 14/03/2017 16:37

How is he now OP? And how are you?

Willow2017 · 14/03/2017 16:41

Salsaythis
Do you think for a moment that his work is going to rearrange a meeting for someone who has been in the job 2 months cos they are too shitfaced to get into work?

Yeah like thats going to happen. He is practically comatose, what bloody use would he be in a meeting?

Getting paralytic when you have work the next day and expecially an important meeting while on probation isnt 'fun' its irresponsible and juvenile, he isnt a teenager!

I could do without that kind of 'fun' thanks and am sure the op can too. What if his 'fun' costs him his job?

When they are counting every penny till he gets another one they can look back and say "remember that day you were too pissed to go into work and you got fired over it, that sure was fun wasnt it?"

FFS!

Crunchymum · 14/03/2017 17:19

Hope he is hanging out of his arsehole (have always wanted to use that phrase Grin)

Do update when you can OP

Crunchymum · 14/03/2017 17:23

He should have taken another day, citing the "48h rule" Grin

I'm kidding, it's not funny. I'd be incandescent with anger (my self employed DP would lose my weekly salary if he missed a day!!)

IvyLeagueUnderTheSea · 14/03/2017 18:35

I hope he has had no sympathy at all today.

gandalf456 · 14/03/2017 19:14

My husband has done this on occasion (but not normally a work night).

I've been annoyed at the mess and disruption and the fact that he know.he can't handle a drink.

However, once it's over, it's never felt a big deal in the scheme of things and it's not as.if I've never come.in roaring drunk and been grossly hungover the next day.

Sometimes, we don't plan these things and one drink.leads to ten.

Yes, if he did it every week, it'd be a problem . Hope you're all OK and that he hasn't pissed his boss off. I'm sure he's learnt his lesson and make sure he pays you back. He owes you big time !

Sunnysky2016 · 14/03/2017 20:31

How is he this evening OP? Hope he has given you a huge apology

Coverup890 · 14/03/2017 23:12

Hope alls ok op and things are ok with his work. Did you manage to get out at all today?

HelenaDove · 15/03/2017 00:37

Wayyyy back in 1998 the bloke in a couple we knew did this after a the work Christmas party.

Threw up all over their bed and didnt even bother to tell her he had done it. So she had to discover it herself Luckily she turned the bedroom light on
They divorced ten years later.

HelenaDove · 15/03/2017 01:05

Ive never been drunk so have no idea how it feels Its never interested me. DH hasnt while ive been with him. He gave up drinking in the late 1970s. Im 43 and hes 23 years my senior so that decision was nothing to do with me.

Your DP has been an irresponsible fuckwit OP And the childish clinginess after you have spent today paying the price for his behaviour really is the icing on a very shitty cake.

ChocolatePuma · 15/03/2017 01:17

I'm reasonably certain the Op knows her partner well enough to know that he'll both appreciate her and regret what he did. Still, if she did nothing, and he lost his job, at least he'll learn, right?

Sometimes people make a mistakes. Nobody forced him, but I'm sure nobody here has ever been caught up in the moment? Whether or not you would cover for him is your choice. Not the OP's.

As for being in a probationary period, considering he didn't go in while under the influence, an employer still needs to give you chance to rectify any problems before they just get rid of you. If nobody saw the instagram posts, and he apologises in due course, there's no reason he shouldn't l get away with a slap on the wrist (assuming thats not abuse...)

FreeNiki · 15/03/2017 01:43

I once got very drunk at a social event including colleagues and my boss and I could not get out of bed the next day. I wasnt sick or anything, just felt sick and a raging headache.

The difference was I had been there 3 years and was doing very well and there was alot of horse play at social events anyway. I rang up boss that morning, by 9am, apologised profusely and said I would take it as a day of annual leave. He laughed his head off and said it was fine and use a sick day. But I wasn't a new employee and I knew the culture there. I would not have dared in your DPs circumstances.

So if Im clear: he went out on a Monday, mere weeks into a new job and stayed out until gone 4am just because a mate told him to? Not only that he drank enough to tranquilise a bloody horse let alone a human.

You spend all night cleaning up after him and worrying about getting him up and lying to boss and pandering to him later on? Shock

Had that happen to me, at the point where he started vomiting all over the carpet, I would have collected my things for the next day, clothes, gym kit, bedding and I would have gone downstairs and slept on the sofa. After checking he wasnt dead in the morning, I would have walked off at 8am leaving a note where he couldnt avoid it, or sending him a text that you will be out all day, you expect him to clean up his vomit and pay for the carpet to be professionally cleaned also. He also needs to let his boss know why he hasn't turned up to work.

I would have spent my day at the gym, lunch, cinema, dinner out. Unless he liked being in a vomit filled house he'd have to have cleaned it.

I cant believe you pandered to that silly git.

Adarajames · 15/03/2017 03:09

I wouldn't be with someone who didn't have courage enough in their own convictions to tell a friend they weren't drinking, bollox to being told you 'have to go out' by someone else! I'm also emetaphobic so in the very unlikely event of finding myself in similar situation, would've taken his credit card and checked myself into a hotel and left s note telling him to clean the fuck up and it was the last time that ever happened or he'd be living somewhere else! I've no time, energy and motivation to pander to an immature spineless fool!

I hope for your sake op he keeps his job

Falafelings · 15/03/2017 03:25

Gosh I probably would have left him to tidy up his own mess - the sick everywhere. I'd have moved a sleeping bag to the lounge and left him to it.

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