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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think this is beyond creepy

76 replies

samanthajayne17 · 13/03/2017 20:56

So the other week I was in Asda ( about a 20-30 minute walk from my house depending on your pace) and I was waiting at a till and this man said to me 'hi, I see you at lot on xxxxxx lane I live just off there and I see you with your mixed race kids'
I saw oh ok (not knowing what to say) and he said his name is 'will'
So I was as polite as I could be and left after doing what I needed. Thought nothing of it. Anyway today I decided to go to Asda for a few bits with my baby son in his pram. I stopped to try play a song on my iPod as it wasn't working and I hear these keys rattle close behind me, so I turned my head this guy says 'hi we met in Asda the other week, I'm will.' And then just starts walking with me and chatting I didn't want to be rude so just listened and walked on. He was saying he sees me a lot with my husband and my kids and he saw us last time in Tesco. Now bear in mind we do go to a Tesco when my husband is off work in the car but this Tesco is a drive away, you cant just walk there, it's either a bus ride or car drive. Then he was like ' oh and I saw you in a park with your kids and your husband and i was having an argument with my mate because he says you cAnt possible have 'all them kids together' ( we have 5) but I was saying yes they are all your kids'
So there's me wondering and I ask him 'oh how do you see us so much then and notice us as me and my husband have never seen your before' he was like 'oh I see a lot of things and I have lived around here for 14 years'

I find this so weird. I feel like him and his mates stalk me and my husband. He does sound polite and friendly but isn't this just creepy?

OP posts:
Aeroflotgirl · 14/03/2017 14:14

I wasen't making assumptions Bill, I always said to the op, that this behaviour is quite stalkerish. It sounds as though they are more than coincidence tbh. It would certainly unnerve me that somebody was possibly tracking me and potentially stalking me.

Aeroflotgirl · 14/03/2017 14:15

Op does not have to interact with him, if he is making her uncomfortable.

Original poster
samanthajayne17 · 14/03/2017 14:27

I won't be interacting with him in future. If he just said hi and wanted to generally chat as a neighbour it would be fine but to think that he knows pretty much loads off stuff about my where abouts is weird. There was This time that this other guy ( not this one who talks to me) used to talk to my husband when he didn't know my husband, this guy knew where our old house and what our old car was that my husband used to drive. Maybe these two people are connected. I dunno but I won't be engaging in conversation anymore.

OP posts:
Aeroflotgirl · 14/03/2017 14:31

No don't you have every right not to. Its not him talking to you, but it feels like he is spying on you. Why should you tolerate someone who makes you feel uncomfortable.

BillSykesDog · 14/03/2017 15:21

It's more than coincidence that he also drives to an out of town supermarket and play area? If the OP does why shouldn't he?

It's not like he knows where the OP works and her GP or even where she lives. He's bumped into her in two public places. Not at all stalkerish.

Original poster
samanthajayne17 · 14/03/2017 15:28

Billy he knows exactly where he lives he's told me so. I also assume he doesn't drive because as he was walking down with me he jumped in a bus at his bus stop so unless he has a friend that drives I dunno but he knows where I live that's just weird

OP posts:
Original poster
samanthajayne17 · 14/03/2017 15:28

Bill Sykes he knows exactly where I live he told me he knows where I live

OP posts:
FooFighter99 · 14/03/2017 15:30

He sounds just like the guy at my local Aldi who will stop and talk to you, ask your name and proceed to regale you about his current favourite computer game. He's harmless though, and after chatting a bit his Dad usually moves him on.

There's nothing wrong with making conversation with strangers though. Not everyone is a creepy weirdo who's out to get you!

NeedsAsockamnesty · 14/03/2017 15:59

I went to work today and saw a face from my neighbourhood, I saw the same face in marks and Spencer's In the centre of town and an hour later in a cafe.
Shortly after that I saw it again chatting to someone in a sewing shop.

Each time I spoke to the person at times during the day we had conversations longer than hi/good morning and made referance to repeat sightings,It was not the first day this has happened.

Am I stalking her or is she stalking me?

BillSykesDog · 14/03/2017 16:28

That's a massive drip feed. But it's not illegal to get a bus to a larger supermarket. You prefer it why wouldn't he? How do you suppose he is stalking you if he has no car? How would he know where you were going and how you were going to get there? You sound paranoid.

You have every right not to chat with him if he makes you uncomfortable, just assertively end the conversation. But to extrapolate from this that you're being stalked is paranoia.

user1489179512 · 14/03/2017 16:31

If the person thinks they are being stalked, they probably are. It could possibly have something to do with instinct.

user1489179512 · 14/03/2017 16:31

Is the OP now being accused of paranoia? That's a bit of a leap.

ImsorryTommy · 14/03/2017 16:39

Stalkers dont tend to alert the people they're stalking to what they're doing.

Original poster
samanthajayne17 · 14/03/2017 17:09

Me paranoid? Maybe I have reason To be. He knows where I am the lot of the time. He knows where I live so of course I can be paronoid

OP posts:
ImsorryTommy · 14/03/2017 17:15

'Trust your instincts' isn't great advice for people with anxiety. The whole basis of anxiety is that your instinct is telling you to worry about things/worry too much about things that you don't need to worry about.

ItShouldHaveBeenJingleJess · 14/03/2017 17:22

as he walked down with me he jumped on a bus at his bus stop I'm confused. Why were you walking with him when you've already said he gives you the creeps?

Original poster
samanthajayne17 · 14/03/2017 17:30

I was walking the same way as him as Asda is the same place as the bus stop. So as I was walking to Asda he was walking down and when we arrived here he diverted to his bus stop but it's one long road so no avoiding him if he's walking he same way and I wasn't stopping my journey to get the things I needed because of him. Don't make it out to be my fault.

OP posts:
Original poster
samanthajayne17 · 14/03/2017 17:32

This is why I'm keeping this to myself and not telling my husband because my husband will blame me somehow just like the PP is

OP posts:
BhajiAllTheWay · 14/03/2017 17:35

I don't think the issue is what if anything is " behind" this man's behaviour. The point is that it's making you on edge and uncomfortable. Don't engage and walk away. If he has seen you with your husband why does he not approach you both to chat?

MimsyFluff · 14/03/2017 17:54

You don't have to do anything you don't want to do. Two men near my house give me the creeps no idea why so i avoid and come across rude if they try and talk to me. I trust my gut it's never been wrong trust yours

TinselTwins · 14/03/2017 18:11

Stalkers dont tend to alert the people they're stalking to what they're doing

Total bollocks! Stalkers often do like their victim to feel watched/unnerved.

ImsorryTommy · 14/03/2017 19:04

No they don't usually unless there has been a previous relationship and they're seeking the 'I want you to know I'm watching you' intimidation.

Most non- psychotic stranger stalkers view it as a covert activity. The pleasure is in the fact that they're watching and you don't know. That's how they get their thrill and sense of power. I know all these things about you, I know what you do, I watch you and you don't know. I have the power over you because you don't know it's happening. I'm in control. I decide when this starts and ends.

If the target knows, it's not that exciting usually.

TinselTwins · 14/03/2017 19:17

Well when I was stalked as a teen he used to phone me when my parents were out and tell me he knew my parents were out… not an ex, just a weirdo/creep

ImsorryTommy · 14/03/2017 19:28

He's unusual in that sense. Did you know who it was?

TinselTwins · 14/03/2017 19:39

yeah a local lad, he got bored when I appeared to not care, for him it was all about the intimidation

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