To still go to GP with 18 yo and book her appointments?

[Vapomaroon]

Just that really. Really cba to go out today (my only day off!) and DD has doctors. I booked the appointment at her request and she wants me to go. AIBU to say she can go on her own. Now I think about it, it's probably a bit u that I still do those things!

I would probably go with an 18yr old if they wanted. Maybe they don't like going to drs alone and find it hard to articulate the issue?

Sometimes DS16 goes on his own (eg for an asthma check) but anything where it could result in hospital referral (eg to.do with his dodgy hamstring) he asks me to go with him. Even then it depends on if he wants me in the actual room with him and the GP or just in the waiting room.

Depends what it is I guess. I usually booked my own appointments but had tonsillitis and cried on the phone to my mum who offered to take me to a primary care centre. I felt so so unwell that I needed someone to take me (I opened my mouth to show the doctor and him and my mum both recoiled in horror)

YANBU
In the rest of Europe, everyone has an 'accompany person' whether they are 18 or 38 or 58. If you go without one, you are seen as odd.
It I called being an advocate and is a good thing.

I think it depends- if she needs you there then yes, it's unreasonable. If she wants you there then I'd say it's up to you- if it's convenient to keep her company/provide moral support then I don't see what's unreasonable about that.

A friend of mine hates going to the docs so will usually see if her Mum or a friend can go along with her.

Depends on entirely what it is for and if she needs your support.

If its a run of the mill thing then let her go on her own. However if she keeps insisting that you go with her then talk to her as it sounds as if she is really worried about something.

Friend's dd went to doctor with pains. She wanted her to have a scan because of a family history of gall bladder problems, and she has a long history of intestinal problems. Doctor gave her gaviscon.

Surgery won't discuss anything because dd is over 16/18 and dd won't do it alone, so friend had to make another appt and go with her. They just get fobbed off

I agree, it depends why she wants you there. If she's anxious about it, then why wouldn't you go? I hate medical stuff and, while I will go by myself, if my husband is available I always take him with me. If she just can't be bothered to get herself there or something, then YANBU.

She may be 18 but she still needs a mother - 18 doesn't magically make someone not need their mother. She doesn't magically become 'not your problem'. The problem is you can't be bothered - that says more about you than about your daughter. So YABU.

My dd's been quite unwell for the last three years. She's 18 now and wouldn't have managed the complexity or negotiation on her own. Indeed at one point when CAMHS closed her case offering nothing, the GP suggested finding a therapist off the internet. Depends on circumstances I think!

Aww she wants you to go. For me that would be enough, I would go. All this nonsense of what 18yo's SHOULD be doing, none of it means a thing. If your DD wants you to be there and you can, then why not?

Just because they are capable doesn't mean they want to go alone. I mean I'm more than 40 so I can manage to go shopping alone, but I take my DH with me.

If she wants you then you should be there if you can. They don't stop being our children just because they are "adult".

My 18 year old asked me to go with her for her pre uni vaccination. She did make the appointment herself though. It was nice to be wanted 😎

'In the rest of Europe, everyone has an 'accompany person' whether they are 18 or 38 or 58. If you go without one, you are seen as odd.'

Er- that's not even remotely true

Depends entirely on the situation. I've taken my Mum to support me on occasion, last time I was 40 something.

It's fine if she wants you there, as long as she understands she is in control and that she can go without you and that health professionals won't discuss anything with you without her consent. My adult DC often ask me to go with them.

I had at least one parent go with me to hospital/doctors appointments until I was about 16. Then most of the time I could do it on my own. Now at 23 I have no problem booking my own lol

My seventeen year old, soon to be 18 year old drags me along....and screamed when I said i didnt want to...(i now have to sit in the waiting room and wait) and when she went to the dentist, she wanted me in the room when she got a check up...I said no, and she screamed and shouted in the car...(the brat)...to be quite honest...She is nearly 18 for goodness sake...and has an older sibling...and she isnt the youngest...
And I make no apologies for calling her a brat, she was shameful...

My 15yo Niece goes on her own

I thought children need an adult present at appointments due to child protection?

If it's routine and nothing serious it might be best to let her go alone. This is because she may not always live near you and has to be able to talk to the doctor alone

i thought children need an adult present at appointments due to child protection? child protection, from the doctor??

Yeah literally hundreds of under 16's gonalone every week. It's ok.

Child protection from what?

Think it depends on the kid. My NT DS1 will just freeze up and not say anything if I made him go on his own, whereas his twin who is ASD would have no issues.

DS2 usually doesn't like strangers but when you get him talking about medical issues it's hard to get him to stop!

Families should support each other. Does she want you there for support? Age isn't really relevant.

Think it depends on the kid. My NT DS1 will just freeze up and not say anything if I made him go on his own

DS1 was like this when he dropped out of uni. I got lots of when I tried to get him help with anything to do with mental health. I have had to sit with him and the phone all afternoon to get him to do the appointments himself to appease them. However, I took him to the hairdressers (he hated having to make any sort of small talk) and the dentist who was great. Now, he makes his own appointments and even goes to work (sometimes). I asked him if he wanted me to go to the dentist with him and he was and I was

Sometimes you just have to do what helps when they need it. There is no age limit.

I booked and attended appointments on my own from the age of about 12 - that was seen as a bit odd at the time by the doctors/other health professionals, I think, but I preferred it (strong sense of privacy) and it would have meant inconvenience and loss of income for my dad to have gone with me. I did have to have an adult present for more serious things, like surgery, but not routine appointments and minor health issues.

With your DD, YANBU either way. It's not wrong to go with her, and it's a nice thing to do if she wants the emotional support, but you shouldn't feel obliged to go.