Just been fired. AIBU to think I'm missing something mentally that lets people work?

[IdiotGirl17]

I'm just shit at every job I try. Largely I think due to anxiety and dyspraxia. I can read something 100 times and not get it, won't even remember what it said in the previous sentence. I lose all confidence and faith in my ability to write even a simple email, and have to check facts in what I'm writing 20 or 30 times before I send it. Obviously all this makes me very slow so I keep pissing people off and getting let go.

Feeling very lost after starting off this morning feeling optimistic that I'd try to get better and improve. I don't know what to do. It seems like I will never not be poor, because I am a complete fuck up when it comes to work. I try so hard and mess up time and time again.

I have worked for some fantastic bosses who invested time in supporting me in what I am good at

I wish there were lots more managers like yours, Olly.

Keep your chin up, OP (sorry I don't like your username!!! You are not)

I hope in a few days and some ideas from your thread here, will give you some new direction. It's their loss.

op you are me!! I have word blindness too, failed all my exams even though I'm an excellent reader.

You will be a kinetic learner. So to learn you have to physically do it.

I teach swimming and I'm amazing at at. I had a brilliant boss who actually got a scribe in to read me my exam questions do I could take my exams on it.

You need a active job. :-)

I would just get a job that didn't involve writing emails. I mean, I'd do that anyway since working in an office is super tedious but that's just me.

Plenty of other areas you can find work in, OP.

Dyspraxia is physical co-ordination, isn't it? Your issues sound more like difficulty processing information in your 'working memory'. Have you been assessed for dyslexia? A friend of mine was diagnosed as dyslexic due to problems with her 'working memory' (there's no problem with her reading and writing). She's also trying to figure out what types of job would suit her best.

Or does dyspraxia covering information processing too?

I had a fantastic job for a while at a cheesemongers. Expectations were pretty high in terms of your interest in and ability to learn about cheese, but it was such fun. The other staff were all so interesting - some doing it while studying, others in between other jobs, others dedicated to food retail.
No enails, lots of contact with customers, above minimum wage (not by much, but it certainly hasn't been a drag on my cv).
Even if it's not for you long term, an enjoyable stint in retail could be a really good boost to your confidence.
It worked for my DSis too - after dropping out of school in the middle of exams, she went into retail while she worked out what to do.

Plumpcious dyspraxia covers a lot of differen things
dyspraxiafoundation.org.uk/about-dyspraxia/

What about working in the hospitality industry? Catering? Housekeeping?

I worked behind a desk for many years and decided on a complete change at the ripe old age of 43.

I started off as a kitchen assistant, moved to catering manager and am now a site supervisor at a youth hostel. Very little paperwork involved and I absolutely love my job now rather than dreading Mondays.

Yha are recruiting all over the uk at the moment as the season is just starting and they really are good to work for in my view.

Yha are recruiting all over the uk at the moment as the season is just starting and they really are good to work for in my view

This is interesting!

Hey, OP, I've got a YHA over the road from me ( in a castle ) they're always looking for staff this time of year, and they do Shakespearian plays and Historic re-enactments all summer! Great fun!

Change can sometimes be the start of a whole new way of life.

Care work may be good option? There are lots of avenues then, care home, nursing home, community based, hospital based. Some involve personal care and hygiene but not all.

Gardening or animal care if you like being outside.

If the career path you have chosen does nor suit, there is no harm in changing to something else. Or even trying a few to see what you like best.

I was going to suggest a name change too but I see that's come up.

Your acting ability doesn't have to mean you choose acting as a career just that if you can act friendly and capable at an interview you might be suited to customer service or a receptionist in a quiet place where they really just want the clients met by a friendly face. Make a list of things you CAN do well and have a good think. The goverment has a careers advice service (I saw someone at a library once) which is really good and might be helpful.

You sound young so I am guessing you have plenty of time to try different things out. I suffer from anxiety and depression too so I do understand how hard it is to get critisism at work when you are trying your best and yes I have been sacked also which is not good for our self-esteem but you do get over it and mostly end up somewhere better. Good luck!

I was diagnosed dyspraxic at primary school and had physio which really helped. Look into something called brain gym too. I consider my dyspraxia quite mild these days although I aknowledge I will never be great at organisation and planning I have strategies (a big notepad with everything written down in it) I work in a very practical job in heathcare,
I know my paperwork takes me longer than some but the hands on nature of the job suits me. Maybe as others have said you need to change direction. And tackle the anxiety, see your GP about it, Ive found anxiety much motre disabling than my dyspraxia personally.

Idiot Girl.

I never got an A in my life.

I have applied for interviews being told I'm too weak, etc.

When I studied my degree I was asked to quit and change course.

Today I am in the top 1% bracket for UK earners.

You have to believe me when I say there is nothing you CAN'T do. Do not let events and people make you think you cannot achieve anything. YOU BLOODY CAN.

You have to identify what you like doing - what you WANT to do. Do something you want. Then fight for it and do not let anyone bring you down or make you believe you cannot achieve it. I'm telling you now you can - if you want it, you'll get it. Do you want it? Yes? What are you waiting for!

It sounds like there's a relationship between your anxiety and your inability to retain information/tendency to second guess yourself? I mean, it sounds like me. My memory's shit at the best of times but under stress it just disappears on me. The only thing that helped for me was working in jobs with a boss who was nice, who supported me, and who could see through the memory problems to the fact that I had other talents. It was having the emotional support that allowed me to calm down and then the memory problems improved a lot, although I am always going to be someone who depends on detachable memory (i.e. write it down!)
I don't know how you find someone like that to work for, I just lucked out. You can look for them in the interview I suppose - companies or people who're unconventional in their approach, who have an informal working atmosphere, that sort of thing?

The other suggestion I had was working as a postie - possibly my favourite job although I only did it in the summers at uni. You work on your own, there are routines to the way you do the job that ensure that you won't forget to deliver anything - and there's no emails to send! IDK, it might be something.

I have an English degree

That's a big achievement. You obviously have no problem with being 'bright enough' for anything. And you must have enormous tenacity and self-discipline.

Enjoy your afternoon in the sun.

I was wondering like a pp whether you might also have some undiagnosed cognitive issues such as executive function, working memory etc, or even visual processing, alongside dyspraxia. Maybe you could see if you could get referred to an OT or vocational service who could help you with the kind of workplace strategies you would benefit from. Sadly I think these kind of services are few and far between now. Or you could take advantage of some sessions from the national careers advice service I think you get 2 - i bet they have some specialist services available if you explain your work history and educational achievements.

I agree with others here. You're good at interviews so you'll be good in sales.

Look for "Business development"

Will you keep us informed? I'd love to know how you get on.

Have you been tested for ADD?

It does sound like an executive function problem. It's possible that Ritalin may help if this is the case, so it's worth asking the GP for a referral.

Hi all, thanks for all the responses and ideas.

ADD is one of the things that has been mentioned before but never assessed. What is executive functioning? Or, what can I google to learn more about it and what might help?

My memory is not good at all when pressure is a factor. I can remember people's names and faces and what was said in conversation from years ago, and books I've read as a child, loads of complete nonsense. But can't remember the name of the person I'm supposed to be emailing, or where they are located, or dates for deadlines!

Some I think is partly the anxiety and lack of confidence that means I get trapped in a rut of obsessively fact checking even the simplest of emails before I can send them. However, when it comes to trying to get a "mental landscape" of my overall work tasks (don't know how else to put it?) it's like my brain gets overloaded and is honestly so blank. I can't even write stuff down because I get flustered and don't know where to begin, don't know what information is crucial and what to discard. I can't filter.That's when I feel really stupid.

Oh God, I'm just doing some reading - this is me!

It's my "working memory" which is totally crap! Because I have a good long term memory I thought I just wasn't trying hard enough. But maybe I simply have a genuinely malfunctioning working memory!

Op please don't put yourself down so much, I've been asked if I was dyspraxic.

At the time I didn't even know what it was. The person who asked me then smiled & said she had been diagnosed. This person is top of their field in a scientific discipline & someone I looked up to very much. You'll find your niche.

Can I just say OP, you sound absolutely lovely? You've clearly had a tough day but you're being pragmatic and productive. That's impressive.

I think you need to put aside the financial ambition temporarily and find an industry you enjoy, then you can look at the best way to maximise your earnings.

With an interest in English: librarian (maybe library assistant in a school?), reading/ activities coordinator in a care home, box office in a theatre/cinema...

You sound lovely OP, and perhaps admin. is not for you. You obviously have really good people skills though, so have you thought about youth work, or teaching English at college (your local uni might have roles for tutors)?

Ok, rather than wait for CBT, Could you do the following? Get David Burns' feeling good handbook, off Abe books costs £2.80 plus pand p, and work through it? A psychiatrist who was giving me CBT therapy told me after one session to go away, read the original book, not the handbook, work it through and come back. I did, we discussed, and then he told me I was quite capable of doing it all myself without him..I too have an English degree. It might help. Won't cost much as long as you don't mind second hand books..

But do go and get a diagnosis, via your gp. Will make a lot of difference to your working environment,

Next, sounds as if you are good with people. Don't do a complaints/admin type of job where you've obv got the brain but you're under a load if pressure to take things down. But do you like helping people? Do you like children, elderly, those in need? Often they need people who take things at their speed, not the world's. Think about things in those areas.

Very best if luck, you sound great.

Hi lovely, my son has dyspraxia and ADHD and struggles in the way you describe. I also have (undiagnosed) dyspraxia and diagnosed anxiety. I also have an English degree like you! It's a real achievement and you should be very proud.
I work as a support worker for a charity and it suits me down to the ground. I think I have a good sense of empathy because I have had my own struggles. I really think it is something you should have a look at. One of my colleagues also has dyspraxia.
I have found ways to cope such as writing lists for everything at work as I don't retain information very well. I also write detailed notes on the database after support sessions so I can 'remember' people better.
It is much easier to deal with if you are passionate about a job and I think working with people brings out a passion that admin work perhaps doesn't (I've done that too). I have also worked for a bookshop and enjoyed it very much.
I think it's all about finding the right fit. Sometimes it takes people longer but we all get there in the end - I think years of feeling useless and 'bad' at things affects us deeply.
Have you tried exercise? After years and years of being awful at sport, I took up running. I'm not the best but it has done my MH a massive amount of good. I am running my first marathon this year. Have you got a park run near you that you could try?
Keep posting, you're not on your own. Self confidence can be the biggest barrier sometimes xx

I think you need to re-think your life and consider a complete change of career.

If writing, reading and working at a computer causes you such difficulty and anxiety - you don't have to do it.

There have been some good suggestions on this thread - working outdoors, with animals, design...