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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Aibu - DD moving school again ?

76 replies

MummyEire · 12/03/2017 19:43

Aibu to give up and move back to Ireland ?

Dd is in year 10 and this is her 3rd school . She's been there since December and I know this year and next year is important because of exam wise but we're just not happy here.

Aibu to move back to Ireland and have Dd move school again ?

OP posts:
MummyEire · 13/03/2017 21:52

Theonly 3 schools have told me junior cert can be skipped if there are certain circumstances and that Leaving cert can be done without them

OP posts:
unfortunateevents · 13/03/2017 22:22

Year 10 is 4th year of secondary school, not 3rd! If she goes into 2nd Year in an Irish secondary school, she will be with (mostly) younger children, 13-14 year olds, which given that she must turn 15 before end of August - if she is now in Year 10 - may be an issue for her. However, as it is a change of country, school and education system, she and you may feel that is not the most important thing. However, I have no idea why you would then want her to skip Junior Cert as she has two years to prepare and, although she may be behind in some subjects - History and Geography for instance - she should be ahead in Science, maybe languages. In English, I think they only start the set texts and poems in second year so she would be starting with everyone else. Under what circumstances did the schools say someone could skip Junior Cert?

TheWindowDonkey · 13/03/2017 23:04

As someone uo thread asked, have you looked into Home Ed? She could very easily study for gcse's or igcse's and then go and sit them in an English school. She'd only need to study for the exams she actually wanted to sit or needed to to get into college (older home ed kids we know often just sit the 5 required to get onto their a level courses). You do need to contact the centre where you want to sit the exams in advance and find out about which boards they sign up to so that you can study the correct curriculum together, but its all emenently doable. You would have to pay for her to sit the actual exams (Home Ed kids get zero funding) but can work out at about £100 per exam depending on boards/centres and if you have the money its a very viable option. We've found the home ed community large and hugely supportive and open minded...and the widely held fears of HE kids being isolated and strange completely unfounded. In fact we've never been as socially active as we have since starting it...and none of us have grown any horns at all. :)

flibflob · 13/03/2017 23:32

I went to 5 different schools (2 primary, 3 secondary). It was fine and I got used to lots of different social environments as a result.

It doesn't sound like a heat of the moment decision at all, rather the opposite. It sounds like you both need to be at home after this awful time.

Depending on what she's already covered in school, could your DD retake of year 10 in Ireland if necessary? Being a bit older than her peers is not necessarily a bad thing and would ensure she hasn't missed out on anything. If they don't take the exam until 17/18 she has plenty of time. (apologies for my woeful lack of knowledge)

Life is too short. All the best Flowers

flibflob · 13/03/2017 23:34

Sorry x posted with many others!

MummyEire · 14/03/2017 06:48

Ah I'm getting so confused with the schooling situation now. I grew up in Ireland but was homeschooled . I'm going to look into it a bit more today but also look at home education for Dd for now ,I'm sure once we move over and have the chance to actually look at the schools then we will find what's suitable

OP posts:
Pangur2 · 14/03/2017 07:48

Maybe homeschooling for GCSEs and then start the leaving cert cycle? I've been having a think; remember half (or more) of the history/ geography etc courses would be specifically about Ireland. The English course is heavily slanted towards Irish authors and poets. At least the leaving cert would be a new course and new for everyone.

CollectingCoins · 14/03/2017 08:02

I suspect the schools mean if the OP moves now her DD would be put into 2nd year for reminder of this academic year and start 3rd year in sept.
2nd year kids will be 14 with some turning 15 later in the academic year (from April say) so she will be at the older end but not significantly so. If you move now and she starts 2nd year you can use the long summer break (three months June, July and August) to get to grips with what she needs to do. There will be haps in history and geography to fill where t least half the course his with an Irish slant but science business English and Maths should be fine. Third year will be hard enough but the JC results are not that important really there main purpose is to stream for Leaving Cert subjects and give you an idea of what the exams are like.

CollectingCoins · 14/03/2017 08:27

Also I am sure the schools are right about not needing a JC to sit leaving. There are plenty of immigrant families who move to Ireland from all over the world whose teenagers won't have sat formal state exams before and they aren't prevented sitting the Leaving Cert. in fact my FIL left school with no exams and went back and did his LC a few years ago. He didn't need to have a JC equivalent done. You don't even need to go to school to do the LC you can just register for exams and be assigned an exam centre and show up on the day.

MumW · 14/03/2017 08:39

It's tricky. Normally, I would be adamant that moving at this point would be a bad move for your DD.

I don't know anything about the Irish education system but if it is similar to here with GCSE equivalent courses starting in Y10, then I wonder if it would be possible to go back to Ireland and enrol DD in Y10 from next September. I know that is putting her back a year but academically it is probably the best solution. By the time she gets to Uni, that year won't even be noticed.

Hope you find a solution that works for both you and your DDs happiness and futures.

SpringerS · 14/03/2017 09:33

Was your daughter born in Ireland or the UK? And has all her education so far been in the UK? If so she will be exempt from studying Irish, which will make life much easier for her. She will be able to use that class time each day to brush up on subjects she is struggling with.

For the subject of history she will need to be prepared for it to be a difficult subject at first as about half of the course will be Irish history and the study of English history will be from a very different viewpoint than that which she is used to. If she finds it interesting though, it's always very enjoyable to get a different perspective. This will also be true for some business subjects as they will focus on Irish trading laws rather than British ones.

Religion may be an issue. There are literally 9 multi-denominational secondary schools in Ireland, 6 in Dublin, 1 each in Wicklow and Kildare (which is essentially the Dublin commuter region) and 1 in Cork. Most other schools are Catholic with a smaller amount that are CoI. There are some ETB schools which claim to be multi-d but they are not, they are Catholic. But you have a constitutional right to opt her out of religion classes if you want. Which to be honest might be a good idea even if you are religious because it would give her an extra class each day where she could work through any subjects that she needs to give extra time to help with the adjustment.

Personally I'd skip the Junior Cert if possible. If the schools you've spoken to are telling you that skipping is an option then I'd go down that route. Let her go straight into Transition Year, which will make the whole change much easier for her and give her a less stressful year to adjust to her quite big transition. If she wants to go to college/university in Ireland, which would make sense as it's so cheap, then she'll need to do a lot more subjects for her leaving cert than she would need to for A levels. Irish, English and Maths are usually required plus an additional European language then another 2 subjects to make up the points for university courses. If she is exempt from Irish she won't need to do that but she will instead need 3 additional subjects. For college courses 5 subjects should be enough to make up the points.

And lastly, on a separate note, do you have accommodation sorted? Housing is incredibly expensive in Ireland again, with even the small cities having extortionate rental costs.

Laura0806 · 14/03/2017 09:40

Your daughters and your mental health is the most important thing and it sounds as if you both really need this move. As I am sure you are already trying to do, do make sure you have all the correct facts re education though so you can plan ahead before you move. Good luck!

SpringerS · 14/03/2017 09:42

Oh and you probably know this given your own experiences but Home Education is very easy in Ireland as it is a protected constitutional right. So you could move here and take your time with your daughter's education. She could easily take a year or two off and catch up at home and either enter school to do her leaving cert or do it through a PLC. There is a very, very good home education network in Ireland now that stay very well connected due to social media. And there are various paths to third level where a home educated student could avoid the leaving cert completely if that's what you both decide is best for your daughter's mental health.

TheOnlyLivingDeadBoyInNewYork · 14/03/2017 09:52

Also I am sure the schools are right about not needing a JC to sit leaving. There are plenty of immigrant families who move to Ireland from all over the world whose teenagers won't have sat formal state exams before and they aren't prevented sitting the Leaving Cert. in fact my FIL left school with no exams and went back and did his LC a few years ago. He didn't need to have a JC equivalent done

The point there is that they would be past the age of doing the junior cert. Op's daughter is nowhere near, she is young enough to enter 2 years before the junior cert exams, so obviously SHE can't just skip it and move on to A-levels.
Thats like saying that someone could move to the UK at 14 and skip GCSE's and then do A-levels a couple of years later. They couldn't, and there would be no reason for it.

OPs daughter is young enough to join the junior cycle and sit the exams, and does not have any equivalent from anywhere else. Of course she will do the junior cert.

TheOnlyLivingDeadBoyInNewYork · 14/03/2017 09:52

*move on to A-level equivalents, the leaving, that is.

CotswoldStrife · 14/03/2017 10:25

I'm sorry to hear about your daughter's abuse OP - did that happen in Ireland? I seem to be getting a completely different vibe from the rest of the posters, I thought you'd moved over here recently (and that the abuse was in Ireland, in that case).

I still think moving school every year in secondary is not ideal, especially if she has no experience in the Irish school system which seems to be what everyone else thinks. Has she studied there at all?

CollectingCoins · 14/03/2017 11:24

TheOnly OPs daughter is 15 which means if she starts third year in Sept she will be 16, which is old for the JC which is usually sat at 15. I would be surprised in immigrant children arriving at 15 are made to sit JC exams for which they are unprepared in order to enter the LC cycle and I doubt this is the case.

If she was my child I'd want her to avoid doing the JC if at all possible and the schools have advised it is. Presumably they know what they are talking about and have given her correct advise.

TheOnlyLivingDeadBoyInNewYork · 14/03/2017 11:30

It's not at all old, many if not most jc takers are 16 now. The push to start later has been going on long enough now that JC is generally at 16 and LC at 18.

MummyEire · 14/03/2017 16:16

I've been on the phone to more school trying to see what is best for DD. We are catholic so it shouldn't be a challenge as one previous poster said about religious schools.

Some background information-
I moved to England just before DD was born and then moved back to Ireland because my sister was very unwell Dd was 2 and then came back to England when she was 4 as Dd's father couldn't come with us for work reasons and I found it hard living away from him. Since then DD's father passed away,Dd has changed schools a few times due to bullying and moving away. Then I found out about the years of abuse . Dd is 15,turning 16 in November .

My sister in Ireland is going to look into schools for us this week. I like the idea of dd doing TY.

Housing is not a problem,in fact I'm better off housing wise than I am in England and Dsister has space for us short term if we have no where to stay . Work isn't an issue for me either

OP posts:
biggles50 · 14/03/2017 17:35

We did it, kids struggled a bit academically but settled down, she may be exempt from Irish if she didn't learn it in national school. Do what feels right for you. Good luck.

SallyGardens · 14/03/2017 18:11

OK, with your latest update, I'd move and homeschool for the rest of this year, bypassing the JC altogether.

I'd then enrol your DD into TY in September which would give her a chance of settling into school without the pressure of exams - in TY there's usually work experience, lots of field trips and workshops on different topics, a play or musical production and academic work is more based on project work.

She'll be exempt from Irish as she hasn't been in the Irish educational system up to now.

PandoraMole · 14/03/2017 18:42

Based on what you've already posted it sounds like moving would be absolutely the best decision for you and your DD.

I work in a secondary school and we have girls transferring mid year throughout the school and from all over the place, including Years 10 & 11 & some with next to no English. It's rarely a problem for them socially or academically.

MummyEire · 14/03/2017 21:16

Thank you both for the replies. I'm going to keep looking into things . Transition year seems to be the best for DD

OP posts:
mikeyssister · 14/03/2017 22:32

I'd definitely recommend TY, both my DC schools re-organise the classes for TY so there's lots of getting to know you.

mikeyssister · 14/03/2017 22:34

JC is usually at 15/16 now and LC at 18/19 as TY is very popular.

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