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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu - DD moving school again ?

76 replies

MummyEire · 12/03/2017 19:43

Aibu to give up and move back to Ireland ?

Dd is in year 10 and this is her 3rd school . She's been there since December and I know this year and next year is important because of exam wise but we're just not happy here.

Aibu to move back to Ireland and have Dd move school again ?

OP posts:
Pangur2 · 13/03/2017 07:02

The leaving cert is the equivilant of A levels. Your daughter would need to do the junior cert. (Although both are taken a bit earlier than English exams. Most Uni courses are 4 years instead of 3.)

Original poster
MummyEire · 13/03/2017 07:14

Would she have to do junior cert though as that is usually done between the ages of 14 and 15?

I'm going to spend all day looking into this and speaking to the family over in Ireland. I think it's best for us to make the move. DDs health and our happiness is more important than exams right now x

OP posts:
TestingTestingWonTooFree · 13/03/2017 07:21

This is a big decision requiring more than a day's research, surely? I'd imagine that if her mental health requires a move then you'll need to do it, but she may need to go down a year (or maybe 2) in school to compensate for joining a different system. I wouldn't want her to be under enormous pressure to catch up.

Original poster
MummyEire · 13/03/2017 07:24

I've been thinking about it for the last year ,which is why I know I'll be able to sort out a house and job for myself. I just haven't looked into the school trnaisition because I always thought it wouldn't be possible until after her GCSE's

OP posts:
wobblywonderwoman · 13/03/2017 07:30

I think I would move, op. Much better standard of life and support.

But I would get her to sit the junior cert next year and do a year of study for it. I would use from now until sept to revise and study. Maybe get her a tutor (it would be worth it)

So she could do the leaving cert but she hasn't covered more than six months of her GCSE courses - so I think she needs more ground covered

Astro55 · 13/03/2017 07:31

Isn't the Irish school year different - i.e. Not September start date?

mummytime · 13/03/2017 07:38

In your circumstances - I would go! Just talk to the school before you do make the final move - and see if there is any extra support they can give your DD (and check if she has to do Irish - she might not, and that might be a bit much to catch up on).

In any other - I would probably urge caution.

I hope the move goes well for you and DD.

Pangur2 · 13/03/2017 07:41

Irish school year starts at the end of August/ beginning of Sept, but ends beginning of June (unless sitting exams.)
I'd probably put her back a year to do the Junior Cert and then skip transition year to start the Leaving Cert with the rest of her peer group. (Well, as long as they don't skip transition year too!)
Ps. Transition year is 4th year. The junior cert is sat in 3rd year and you start studying for the leaving cert in 5th year. You do projects and work experience in 4th year and it is usually skipable. (I skipped it.)
I'm a teacher in London but went to school in Dublin, so let me know if your need any more help. The two school systems are completely different, but a switch is completely doable.

Ihatethedailymail1 · 13/03/2017 08:15

Why is she already on her third school? Seems an awful lot already.
Children are resilient, but sometimes you just have to buckle down and finish what you need to finish, ie her schooling and then think about moving again.

Autumntactics · 13/03/2017 08:26

I would move if that's what my DD wanted too. These are such important years in terms of setting mental health for the future, and to me that is more important than exams. I took my DD out of school to home educate because of her mental health. She won't get as many GCSEs (though she might get better grades) but having her back to her cheerful, confident self has definitely been worth it. When you're in the school system there's so much pressure to get exams, but when you come out of it you see so many kids who have been successful taking different routes. I know you're not intending to home educate, but I think there are some parallels. Sorry that happened to your DD, you sound like you're working hard to make the right decision for her. When I was deciding what to do I wanted my DD to look back and think I'd put her needs first and been there for her, and she has really appreciated that Flowers.

differentnameforthis · 13/03/2017 08:27

I am so sorry that no one believed your daughter, op. How awful!

I would be inclined to go where she feels safe. No cost can be put on piece of mind, surely? She will fare better where she feels safe too.

Good luck.

differentnameforthis · 13/03/2017 08:32

Peace of mind, not piece

britnay · 13/03/2017 08:33

I went to 3 different primary schools, 5 different secondary schools and two different universities (for undergrad degree) and these were in 4 different countries.
You're doing it for the right reason; she'll be fine.

BurningBridges · 13/03/2017 10:11

Not sure I've ever seen such a unanimous thread! Wish you well with your research OP, imagine summer in Ireland again - wish I was going back this year.

CollectingCoins · 13/03/2017 10:45

You should move back if it will help her mental health. The way I see it you have two options

As suggested above start get in 3rd year in Sept and have her do JC. She'll be older than the others but if she skips TY she'll be at same age as everyone else doing Leaving. It'll be harder on her though gettibg up to speed on 8 subjects in a year (she should be exempt from Irish) and then straight into the 2 year course for Leaving. Also she'll have to make a total new set of friends in her second year if she skips TY and the others do it so sort of like moving school again.

My preferred option would be have her skip JC altogether (if this is possible) - nobody cares about these results once you've a leaving. I'd put her into a transition year and use that year to bring her up to speed on the subjects she'll do for leaving (she'll need 6 at least). Once she can do the JC sample exam papers herself she'll be in a good position to start Leaving Cert course in 5th year.

Things to check - is she eligible for Irish exemption? This is critical if she not eligible for it then she has to do the subject it's compulsory and a pass in it is required for entry into many uni/colleges in Ireland.

Does she need JC or a Jc equivalent (like GCSEs) to sit Leaving? I think probably not but you should confirm

mummyto2monkeys · 13/03/2017 11:24

Another one here who places mental wellbeing way ahead for both of you! Your daughter is traumatised, likely incredibly hurt that her family have disbelieved and effectively disowned her. A new start could be just what she needs! For your dd to be constantly living in a state of fear could have a hugely negative impact on her ability to complete her GCSE's anyway! At least in Ireland she will feel safe, have a loving family to protect her, who can restore her faith in herself and family trusting and believing her.

Children who are physically ill during their teens often end up going to college to sit GCSE's/ A levels. Your daughter is so young, she has plenty time to concentrate on her education once she heals from the abuse and betrayal she has faced in England.

Labyrinthian · 13/03/2017 11:29

Make sure to ring a few good secondary schools before you move, check what subjects she can do, if there are places, etc. She will get an exemption from learning Irish but needs to take a European language. The systems don't translate exactly in Ireland and England (GCSE and Junior Cert are similar (taken around age 15), it's a 2 year academic cycle to Leaving Cert (A levels), but all based on final exams at the end of year 2 (no AS or retakes). For the junior cert, she would be taking 9 subjects usually, for Leaving Cert she will need to take 7 usually - and to get into university that would need to include maths, English and a European language (options then of business, science etc).

If the school say she doesn't need GCSE then I'd look at a school that offer transition year (a non academic year, but hugely positive experience, would give her great chance to make friends, etc). School year starts in early Sept and that would give her a year to settle properly in Ireland, and take up some of those subjects if she hasn't taken them before, before facing what is a much stricter academic programme than in UK.

The good news is free university if she stayed in Ireland then

unfortunateevents · 13/03/2017 11:51

I don't know if she could skip Junior Cert in Ireland but assuming she will be 15 when you would move back (she might still be 14?) then I think she is too young for a transition year. The rules on age when starting school are nowhere near as rigid as the UK so there will be a wider range of ages in a single year group but as people start school at 4 or 5 and then spend 8 years in Primary school, not 7, students start secondary school at 12 or sometimes 13. With three years to Junior Cert and Transition Year coming after that, the majority of students will be 16, possibly turning 17 in Transition Year.

I'm not sure if I missed why your DD keeps moving schools here but if she has school problems generally, are you sure that whatever the problem is you won't just export it back to Ireland with you? Obviously, family issues should be much improved but school seems to be separate to that?

Labyrinthian · 13/03/2017 12:05

I don't know if that's quite right, a lot of the transition year students i see are 15 starting, and turn 16 during that year.

It can be quite the norm, they then finish Leaving Cert at 18, meaning if they need to repeat 6th year for exam results they would be 19 starting uni.

SallyGardens · 13/03/2017 13:26

I know a lot of 15yos only finishing 2nd year at the moment. She definitely wouldn't be too old to start 3rd year in September.

pringlecat · 13/03/2017 13:45

I thought you were being unreasonable until you added the context. Go. If this is what she wants, go in a heartbeat. The rest is detail that can be worked out.

Pangur2 · 13/03/2017 17:51

No harm in being a bit older anyway tbh. I was 17 for the whole first year of Uni, apart from the last fortnight. One of my friends was still 16 for her Leaving cert as it was her birthday in august. (We all skipped TY). Far too young!

mikeyssister · 13/03/2017 18:20

I'd definitely try to do TY if possible. It's a great life experience if done properly.

Original poster
MummyEire · 13/03/2017 21:18

Thank you all so much for the information and just for the hand hold.

I've spent all day today looking into jobs and school for Dd. After speaking to various schools most say the same thing .
Dd can start school (2nd year in Ireland) with kids her age . In England year 10 is 3rd year of secondary school.

Junior cert can also be skipped and if not needed for leaving cert

OP posts:
TheOnlyLivingDeadBoyInNewYork · 13/03/2017 21:34

The Irish equivalent to GCSEs is leaving cert which most of them do at 17

No it isn't. Junior cert is equivalent to GCSE's, leaving is equivalent to A-Levels. And junior cert can't be skipped, don't be daft!
I think you need to do a lot more research before you make such a move, you haven't quite got the basics yet.