Who is wrong, me or him?

[GrandmaGotRunOverByAReindeer]

There's an annual activity that I do and I've really been looking forward to.
I told him the exact date 3 weeks age and asked him to book it off asap, he told me his boss had said it was too far in advance but it would be fine.

This morning he tells me he can't have it off now because 2 other people have.
he will be working 6am-6pm that day, I will be out 5:15am-7:30pm.

I asked if he could swap shifts with someone, he said no.
I said I would ask my mum and my sister and he said he wasn't dragging the kids out of bed that early, I said my sister could stay over and he said I'm selfish because the activity is obviously more important than anything else.
Then he asked if I wanted him to find Gary glitters number since I didn't care who had them as long as it wasn't me..

I'm annoyed because he was supposed to sort it and hasn't, he has a history of not bothering if somethings not important to him, he will go to his brothers for half an hour but actually come back hours later when I've missed something I was supposed to do.

[WateryTart]

He's an abusive prick. Why are you with him?

[Starlighter]

YANBU! You've given him loads of notice and he's messed up. He should be the one trying to find a solution!

[Chloe84]

He sounds controlling. Does he usually make it difficult for you to do things you enjoy?

[HighwayDragon1]

Sounds like he's done it on purpose...

[ChasedByBees]

God what a arse he is.

[shitonit]

He is bu, just arrange it with your sister.

[pictish]

Sounds like he doesn't want you to go.

[Masketti]

He's manipulating you. He doesn't want you to do something that's important to you. What a shit. You're coming up with solutions and he's coming up with problems. The Gary Glitter comment is really low.

[Aspiringcatlady]

he will go to his brothers for half an hour but actually come back hours later when I've missed something I was supposed to do.

This sounds a little controlling.

He is BU!

[bimbobaggins]

He sounds very controlling and really doesn't want you to go.get your sister to come round and enjoy your day out

[Bluntness100]

He seems to be trying to stop you going. Do you know why he would do that?

[Foxysoxy01]

He doesn't want you to go, he is controlling and thinks stamping his feet will make you stay at home and not have a life outside of him.

His comments are very unreasonable and show him up for the immature, controlling shit he is.

[PlumsGalore]

I don't believe he can't get the time off, I don't believe he thinks you are palming the kids off and don't care, I do believe he doesn't want you to have any life or any interests of your own.

I also believe he is being a top class dick, go. Just go, and tell him you are going.

[JoJoSM2]

He's passive aggressive and extremely rude.

[emmyrose2000]

He sounds like a complete arse.

Point out to him that he's now double booked himself by needing to be at both home/with the kids and work at the same time so what's his plan for fixing that as you'll be out for the day?

[BoomBoomsCousin]

If it was just that he can't be bothered covering I would say you were married to a selfish and lazy man. Which is bad enough and no way to behave in a relationship. But the objections to your plans for childcare sound like he's deliberately trying to make sure you can't do something you want to. That's not just a bad relationship, but a somewhat scary one.

[BlueFolly]

Is he always this nasty to you?

[VeraVinegarTits]

The Gary Glitter comment is just awful... Weirdo. He sounds very manipulative.

[pictish]

He's trying to shame you into not going. Which is a fucker's move.

[milliemolliemou]

So for other posters catching up like me

You will be leaving on an annual activity 5.15am and getting back 7.30pm.

You told your DH 3 weeks ago, now he says it's not fine and he'll be doing a 6am- 6pm shift. Presumably it's not five minutes away so he could be leaving after 5am and coming back after 6pm.

Why wouldn't he welcome your sister staying overnight before you both set off - then presumably either collecting DCs from sisters or mother's subsequently and looking after them until you come back? or leaving them another few hours until you can collect? Does he think they''re child-eaters?

Has he another solution? if so, he should come up with it. Is he a man or a mouse?

[GrandmaGotRunOverByAReindeer]

Thank you to everyone who commented. You backed up what I've been realising for a few weeks, he is nasty and controlling.
I forgot to say the activity is in July but I need to commit now

I kicked him out.he will blame the activity being more important to me but I'm going to need to ride it out.

This isn't my fault, I haven't done anything wrong. I deserve better.

[Iwasjustabouttosaythat]

You kicked him out? Wow! You are amazing!! So good to see you not taking crap from an abusive moron. Well done! Stay strong.

[EllaHen]

You do, indeed, deserve better. I bet this was the tipping point. Well done. Onwards and upwards.

[GrandmaGotRunOverByAReindeer]

Ive been mentally out of this relationship for over a year, staying for the kids.
Today we are playing loud music and dancing around the living room. Because we can

[HunterHearstHelmsley]

Well done! Doesn't seem as though him not being there will affect you negatively so life might be much nicer