To think it is usually always rude to comment on someone's weight?

[lottieandmia]

I think it's rude to comment on someone's weight. And I think that when a man does it it's a deliberate 'neg' pick up artist type thing.

Maybe if someone's openly going to weight watchers then it's ok to say 'ooh you look slim' but it's not ok to say someone looks too thin or they've out weight on.

AIBU?

Or is it compliment?

Maybe if someone's openly going to weight watchers then it's ok to say 'ooh you look slim' but it's not ok to say someone looks too thin or they've out weight on.

I am okay with people mentioning that I am too skinny, but only if the comment is accompanied by the offer of a second slice of chocolate cake.

I like being told they can see my weight loss. I don't always see it. I am working really really fucking hard to shift this bastard weight and it is a bloody slog. Two women i had never spoken to at the gym today separately told me they could see how far i had come in two months. Without prompting. One even said she'd love my arms! That left me bloody chuffed.

But I do come from a mother who lives her life to be thin. Who thinks you are less of a person if you are bigger. I was a horrible disappointment for her. So maybe i am just used to hearing weight loss/gain chat and it doesn't strike me as odd.

I think it depends who is telling you, your relationship and how it's phased. As for thinking men doing it are trying to pick you up, I'm not sure a bloke telling you you've put on weight is a pick up strategy but I admire your optimisim there,,,😂

Unless you are their doctor then there is no need to mention it, surely?

As an obese person myself I can testify that we do kno wwe are fat. It isn't news to us and it always being commented on gets very annoying

Because when people tell me I have lost weight then they follow it up with "you may not realise it but you used to be very fat and unnattractive." As though i didn't realise that!!!

Bluntness - google 'pick up artists'

ImBack - how rude. I can't believe anyone would be so nasty or insensitive or reduce someone to a size

joeythenutter the double standards regarding body shaming are bizarre. I am seeing a lot of skinny bashing these days, as well as anm increase in fast bashing

'the PUA uses strategic put-downs and minor insults to entice his prey by undermining her self-confidence and creating tension which he uses to his advantage.'

I don't think it is just pick up artists who do this but I've seen examples of it. The weight thing is definitely something family will focus on as well. It's a bit like when you're pregnant and everyone thinks they have the right to make rude unwelcome comments and observations.

lottieandmia it happens a lot, sadly. My DF was the worst. and my DSis, although she is not abusive like DF isnot much better when it comes to the looking me up and down and commenting. she is obsessed with weight. i try tell myself she has her own issues

ImBack - I agree. It comes down to the simple fact that a person who is happy in their own skin doesn't feel the need to put anyone else down.

I lost around 2 stone last year and everyone seemed to have an opinion on it. Mostly negative. I think skinny people are considered fair game when it comes to comments about weight. If someone gains in size then generally nothing rude is said.

I don't think that's true Phoebe actually. I think people make rude comments in either situation.

I hate hate HATE weight comments. I worked with a nursing auxiliary who always commented on my weight or others weight, and it got to the point that I politely reminded her that not everyone wants to hear this and a number in their clothes does not a person.

God she wound me up.

I hate it too. I had 2 of my patients (community nurse specialist) recently say to me 'god you've put on a bit of weight haven't you?', it was post Xmas and I'd probably gained 4lbs. Not sure if it's because they are older or they are just rude!!

I often get called a "skinny bitch" which used to really upset me as I got bullied in school for being stick thin! Doesn't bother me now but it is still bloody rude!

I am only speaking from experience Lottie. When I gained weight no one said a word. It was as if it was an embarrassing, shameful situation which we all realised but couldn't say anything because politeness dictates that mentioning weight gain is rude. Losing weight on the other hand seems to encourage either compliments, fake concern about poor health or envy.

Well yes any personal comment about someone's body size is incredibly rude. I honestly don't know who people think they are.

I never know how to react to people telling me that I've lost weight or I look good. All I see in the mirror is a fat whale, so it makes me very uncomfortable.

YANBU OP, it would be better if it wasn't such a focus for society.

YANBU, you should never comment unless someone has actively been trying. As gladysknight said above, I lost a significant amount of weight as I was really very ill. I nearly died. It seemed like that didn't matter; people just kept commenting on how slim I looked, saying they wished they could lose weight so quick. They probably thought they were being nice, but I was in pain, thoroughly miserable, my life had just changed forever. I looked very slim, the smallest I had been as an adult, however, the trade off wasn't worth it at all.

I agree phoebe my mil always buys me size 10 things for Christmas and birthday even though I have repeatedly told her that I'm a 12-14. It's as if she think to buy me a 'big' size is rude, although I think it's ruder to buy me something that I then have to expend effort and money to exchange.

I find it with pregnancy too- big bump= lots of comments. Big all over with lots of weight gain elicits comments like 'blooming' and it's as if people are afraid to comment that you're massive but rather than just say nothing they have to say something about something else other than your size.

Agree it is rude to comment on weight, but I am sorry, there is a difference between comments to say someone looks thin and comments to say someone looks fat. It's because being thin is thought to be desirable in our society. It is what all weight loss products and the whole beauty and fitness industry is geared towards. You might get mock-offended when you get 'skinny-shamed' but you know deep down, that it is nowhere near the same as being fat-shamed.

That's bollocks. Sorry. But it is. It is just as unhealthy to be overweight as it is to be underweight.
Are you saying that if someone says to you, 'oh dear, you're looking very underweight and quite ill' you walk away preening yourself feeling pleased because being unhealthily thin is preferable to bring overweight?