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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Friend cancelling

39 replies

PixiePlunge · 10/03/2017 19:05

My friend and I have a spa day booked (yes I know how they are viewed on here but we both wanted to go Grin). This has been booked for 7 months.

She then texts me today to say she's now unable to make it as she's decided to go on holiday.

I've paid for the whole thing so whether she'll pay me back I'm not sure.

The fact is, she didn't even apologise when cancelling. Aibu to think this is rude and inconsiderate?

OP posts:
arethereanyleftatall · 10/03/2017 19:06

Yanbu, of course you're not, that's awful.

Trills · 10/03/2017 19:07

She hasn't even apologised? Shock

Trills · 10/03/2017 19:07

Even if she did say she'd pay for her share, you won't necessarily enjoy it the same on your own.

MarklahMarklah · 10/03/2017 19:07

Yes, very rude. But I'll probably get told I'm in the wrong for saying that.
I have a friend who has done similar with a holiday. Thankfully I'd only paid the deposit and I got that money back, but she didn't apologise, nor did she offer any money. I don't see her much any more.

arethereanyleftatall · 10/03/2017 19:07

Have you texted her back with a 'wft? I've paid x for you, and booked a day off work.'

MummyMuppet2x2 · 10/03/2017 19:09

YANBU How rude!
She had so many ways she could have dealt with this, she chose the bluntest Confused

treaclesoda · 10/03/2017 19:09

I think it's staggeringly rude.

But you're probably going to get loads of people saying that it's fine, and that some people find it hard to commit to plans because they are nervous and that you shouldn't judge.

Sorry that your friend turned out to not be a friend after all.

Original poster
PixiePlunge · 10/03/2017 19:10

Yes I said that you could have at least apologised and she just texts back -

I am sorry.

Hmm who knows how sincere it was.

OP posts:
Hedgehogparty · 10/03/2017 19:11

Texting to tell you that was rude in the first place, she should have spoken to you properly.
No apology offered?
I'd be re evaluating this friendship.......

Tantrictantrum · 10/03/2017 19:11

Say ok no problem. Can you send me your share? If she says no say well how are you paying to go away?

JaneEyre70 · 10/03/2017 19:13

Find another friend to take and don't pay out for her again in advance. Lesson learned. She's very rude not to offer to pay for it.

arethereanyleftatall · 10/03/2017 19:13

what are you going to do? Can another friend take her place? Can you get a refund? If she knows you've paid for it, I'm surprised she hasn't mentioned that.

Original poster
PixiePlunge · 10/03/2017 19:18

I won't get a refund as I bought it through wowcher ... I'm not sure if I could take someone else. I had to email the spa with both our names.

OP posts:
Rollonbedtime7pm · 10/03/2017 19:19

Definitely ask her for the money! How cheeky is that?!

arethereanyleftatall · 10/03/2017 19:21

Text her 'as you know, I've paid x for you and it's non refundable. Can you transfer the money you owe?'

ImperialBlether · 10/03/2017 19:22

You could take someone else - they won't care that it's a different person. She should pay her share now, though - she doesn't sound a very good friend.

ChuckDaffodils · 10/03/2017 19:24

Can someone else just pretend they are her? They aren't going to check passports at the door surely?

Original poster
PixiePlunge · 10/03/2017 19:26

Can someone else just pretend they are her? They aren't going to check passports at the door surely?

No I don't think that but I think they sometimes ask for a debit card to open a tab for each person when you have a drink etc

OP posts:
topcat2014 · 10/03/2017 19:34

'friend' sounds a bit like bubbles de vere to me - can you find someone else to go with and get the friend to refund you

Sugarpiehoneyeye · 10/03/2017 19:36

Just ask her for the money Pixie.

IamFriedSpam · 10/03/2017 19:38

YANBU. There are always people that come on to say "she doesn't have to go to a spa with you" but I think it's incredibly rude and inconsiderate.

Hedgehogparty · 10/03/2017 19:39

Yes - as it sounds like since the tickets are non transferable, she needs to pay up.
Do you think she will?

Northend77 · 10/03/2017 19:39

I'll go!!!

Loopytiles · 10/03/2017 19:39

Never a good plan to pay upfront for other people, sadly.

NeedMoreSleepOrSugar · 10/03/2017 19:41

Doesn't sound like you're likely to get the money from her either - was it going to be your treat if she had gone though? Definitely bring someone else instead- I'll come with you if you're stuck for a spa companion, and I'll pay my way! Grin