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Original poster

Straightening Child's Hair

157 replies

Stardust1901 · 09/03/2017 12:27

What are your view on straightening a child's hair?
I've just seen on my FB someone I know, whose straightened her 3 year old's hair for play school.

It would never occur to me to straighten a child's hair! What do you think?

OP posts:
downwardfacingdog · 09/03/2017 14:27

My 5yo DD sometimes asks me to straighten her hair. It's more about changing her appearance for the fun of seeing something different in the mirror than worrying about her wavy hair being not good enough. I straighten my own hair when I can be botheref because it is a bushy half-wavy mess otherwise. My 10yo DS also asks me to straighten his because it is super wiry and thick and straightening it make it more manageable. I am generally to be found in a jeans and hoodie with no makeup so I'm definitely not raising my kids to feel judged on their appearance, though I recognise that unfortunately my DS is reaching an age where he has started to feel more conscious of how he looks.

Gottagetmoving · 09/03/2017 14:37

It is not much different to brushing it and then plaiting it.
It would take just a few minutes.
I couldn't be bothered doing it but if someone wants to I cannot see the problem.
I see little boys with gelled spiky hair and little girls with beads and ribbons in their hair. I admire their parents patience bothering with all that.
When my DD was 3 it was all I could do to get a brush through it.

whatsfair · 09/03/2017 14:50

I have a young dd. I wouldn't judge someone, but I wouldn't do it myself.
I'm working hard to ensure she knows she is beautiful and doesn't have to change anything about herself because she's perfect as she is. As she gets older no doubt she will experiment with make up and changing her hair, but hopefully she will have a strong foundation of self-confidence about her looks and body first so it's just for fun.

BitchQueen90 · 09/03/2017 14:52

If it's an occasional thing I wouldn't think anything of it, but regular straightening does damage hair, even with heat protection spray. I used to straighten mine daily and it ended up brittle and breaking off. I had to get it cut into a crop to repair the damage.

AlmostAJillSandwich · 09/03/2017 14:55

Depends on the heat setting used. My thick frizzy curls need the full 230 degrees and its burnt my face/neck if the just straightened hair has touched it.

OhSoggyBiscuit · 09/03/2017 15:17

I'd be terrified of burning the child- 3 years olds don't sit still!

MrsTerryPratchett · 09/03/2017 15:23

There was a little girl at school with me who used to do child modeling. She had hair that was highlighted and styled and she never ran around or played in the mud. We all felt sorry for her and thought her parents were mean. I have a feeling that DD's little friends would now be jealous.

I'm convinced that the objectification of women and girls is getting worse and much much younger.

ClaryIsTheBest · 09/03/2017 15:28

I'm convinced that the objectification of women and girls is getting worse and much much younger.

I agree.
Photoshop, the fashion industry and for adults also the porn industry? The standards are impossible.

Yesterday (?) there was this thread about Cindy Crawford's daughter... some of the comments made me sad. I'm not saying the girl is ugly (not at all). But it seems like so many adult women (let alone girls) still don't understand what a good photographer, a stylist or photoshop (and especially all 3 things. Not to mention a personal trainer etc...) can do...

But tbh, I must admit, if my mother didn't work in fashion and I hadn't seen "ordinarily" beautiful women be transformed for the first time when I was pretty young I may not either.

Areyoufree · 09/03/2017 15:58

I've done it, and would do it more often if my daughter would let me
She screams any time a brush goes near her head, and straightening it keeps it tangle free for longer. You don't always know people's motivations for doing things - I would never judge someone over something as unimportant as a hairstyle.

Ghodavies · 09/03/2017 19:29

NO

TrollTheRespawnJeremy · 09/03/2017 19:38

It's pretty horrid. i'd maybe do it for a wedding on my older DD (less than 10 yrs old) just so that it looks less unruly for pictures but otherwise no.

lalalalyra · 09/03/2017 19:38

Was it for a special occasion?

I straighted my 3yo's at Halloween as she wanted her hair straight like the outfit she'd chosen. I don't think doing it on a low setting as a one off is a big deal.

ClaryIsTheBest · 09/03/2017 19:41

My nonna used to do my hair for pictures. Water, a fine tooth comb (very fine) and powerful hands. And ribbons... And certainly no running away.

It looked neat. Neater than anybody would have thought my unruly hair could somehow be... But the pain. Gosh, that hurt!!

So. Eh. If that person's child has hair like this... Idk. I think I just reconsidered my previous statements. Straightening is certainly the preferable procedure.

herecomesthsun · 09/03/2017 19:46

Hundreds of children burned by straighteners apparently every year.

I don't even straighten my own hair because I haven't wanted hot straighteners anywhere around the house where my kids might get hold of them and especially I wouldn't want my little daughter to try to copy mummy and burn herself (she loves copying mummy.) I also love her beautiful long curly hair.

I might possibly be a bit risk adverse.

SalemSaberhagen · 09/03/2017 19:47

I wouldn't do it. But I have a 2 year old DD with an unruly Afro and have to spend a fair bit of time on it to avoid it just matting and turning into dreadlocks.

herecomesthsun · 09/03/2017 19:48

re brushing, I have bought my DD a doll with brushable hair for her birthday, it really helps her to put up with the hair brushing if she can get to brush her dolly's hair as well.

AYankinSpanx · 09/03/2017 19:55

No, I wouldn't straighten a three year old's hair. I'm just looking at my own 3 year old's fluffy, sweet hair and it would be the last thing in the world I'd think of doing to it.

After washing and brushing, a bobble or slide is the full extent of her hair care routine.

angeldelightedme · 09/03/2017 19:55

I think it sends the message to your child that they are not good enough in their natural state and that you as their mother is having to do thinks to make them look 'better'

so do you not brush your DC's hair? Is that not sending the same message?

noeffingidea · 09/03/2017 20:09

No I never did that to my daughters hair. She has never had any interest in anything like that.
I'm not into things like that myself so I wouldn't see any reason to do it to my daughter's hair.
I think some mothers who are interested in hair styling and general beauty stuff share it with their children as a way of bonding with them and thats absolutely fine (as long as it's safe, and not forced on the child, of course).

SailAwayWithMeHoney · 09/03/2017 20:15

I straighten my 4yo boys hair sometimes, he loves it Grin

MuseumOfCurry · 09/03/2017 20:19

Isn't this the teensiest bit (middle) classist?

I wouldn't do it, but I wouldn't knock someone who is a bit girlier than me doing it with their kid. Different strokes and all that.

By the way I had damaged hair for about 20 years, it's not a big deal. Hair is an accessory.

NeverNic · 09/03/2017 20:23

Pretty sure there are pictures of me at the same age with a crimped side ponytail....

BeetlebumShesAGun · 09/03/2017 20:26

My daughter is three and has the most beautiful, crazy, quite fine corkscrew curls. One day we were playing "hairdressers" I washed her hair in the bath with her sitting backwards etc, I blow dried it and she asked if I could straighten it (she has seen me straightening my wavy frizzy thick hair to smooth it out!)

As a one off I obliged. She excitedly looked in the mirror only to burst into tears, screaming her curls had gone and she wanted her beautiful hair back Blush.

So I won't do it again even if she asks!

On a serious note, I think if playing as I have said above there is no harm in it once in a blue moon. But I wouldn't and don't do it for parties, special occasions etc as I don't want her to think her curls need changing for special occasions.

SellFridges · 09/03/2017 20:28

I do DD's sometimes, especially the baby hairs around her face when I want it to look neat. She's six.

SellFridges · 09/03/2017 20:31

*I don't even straighten my own hair because I haven't wanted hot straighteners anywhere around the house where my kids might get hold of them and especially I wouldn't want my little daughter to try to copy mummy and burn herself (she loves copying mummy.) I also love her beautiful long curly hair.

I might possibly be a bit risk adverse.*

You're telling me! Presume you also don't boil the kettle or run a bath.