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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Straightening Child's Hair

157 replies

Stardust1901 · 09/03/2017 12:27

What are your view on straightening a child's hair?
I've just seen on my FB someone I know, whose straightened her 3 year old's hair for play school.

It would never occur to me to straighten a child's hair! What do you think?

OP posts:

wigglesrock · 09/03/2017 13:27

But my kids want to do different stuff with their hair all the time - my youngest has a very short bob - she loves using something usually soap in the bath to "shape" it into something resembling a quiff or spikes or completely slicked back. Some days she sticks 14 different clips in one side. I let her, then show her in a mirror to see what it looks like. I'm not teaching her that her hair isn't good enough. Thats a very adult slant on kids faffing about with their hair, in the same way she decided that odd socks might be a good look.

IamFriedSpam · 09/03/2017 13:28

I think it's none of anyone's business. Seriously why do people take time out of their days to actual make a post on a forum about something so bloody unimportant

Because it's mumsnet not the NYtimes. I don't think OP is going to call the police or try to confiscate this mum's straighteners, she just wanted to know what other people think about it.

Herdingcows · 09/03/2017 13:28

When my dd was 3 she had her hair straightened before a cut at the hairdressers.... Now 6 and still has lovely hair

AlphaBites · 09/03/2017 13:34

Trb17 That was the age I assumed they would do it as well !

But no, all the children who were going to be in the show had to wear the makeup. Blue eyeshadow mascara etc, full stage make up. I queries why and was told they would look 'washed out' under the stage lights.

That and the fact you had to buy the costume off the school for £40, have it fitted (fine, I sew and make loads of dresses etc for DD so can do that for nowt) and then buy tickets at £15 each made me say 'No thanks.'

LaurieMarlow · 09/03/2017 13:35

My mother spent my childhood putting ringlets in my hair. It's not any different to that.

A protection spray will minimise any damage. Not a big deal at all.

AlphaBites · 09/03/2017 13:35

queried 😐

IamFriedSpam · 09/03/2017 13:38

Personally it's not the worst thing in the world, I would have hoped though that 3 year olds have more fun things to worry about than their hair! Personally I didn't really encourage my DD (or DS) to worry about their appearance until they started thinking about it themselves (DS is only 5 so still doesn't care).

Justwantcookies · 09/03/2017 13:39

I'd think 'She clearly has too much time on her hands'.

AreYouNice · 09/03/2017 13:40

Meh, some kids might like it. It sort of a form of dressing up and if they see their Mum (or Dad ) doing they might want to try too

I can't imagine any of my DC wanting to at that age though. My girls were well behaved usually but they refused to let me fuss with their hair.

alltouchedout · 09/03/2017 13:41

I've done one swipe over a chunk of ds1's hair once when he asked me to. He was unimpressed.

If children want it done and you're using heat protection spray I don't see a problem tbh. Many of us had our hair crimped or tonged into ringlets as children.

DH used to have big caveman hair (he shaves his head now due to a fast receding hairline and I miss the caveman look) and once let me straighten his to see what it looked like. He was very whingy about it.

RedAndYellowPeppers · 09/03/2017 13:43

No I wouldnt do that.
Partly because it damages hair.
Parent because having a 3yo sitting still long enough to be able to do that wo risking to burn them would be HARD.
Partly because, why why would you want to do that? Is it that important to be able to play in mud
Not different from curling or styling but then i would t do any of that on a 3yo either!! Do they really need a perfect hair style to go and play? For me that's not about the child, that's about the parents who want their child to look 'perfect' (same with very fancy clothes to go to the park etc.. btw)

AreYouNice · 09/03/2017 13:45

leggit
I think it's none of anyone's business. Seriously why do people take time out of their days to actual make a post on a forum about something so bloody unimportant

Hahahaha. I presume you think your comment was worth taking time out of your day and was VERY IMPORTANT. 😂

ArmySal · 09/03/2017 13:49

No, I think 3 is way too young to be putting something so hot on their hair.

Morphene · 09/03/2017 13:50

SparklyUnicornPoo I'm not sure that brings us quite to equality but thanks for the effort! I don't know whether to congratulate you on your stereotype busting son, or commiserate with you that another child has been convinced their appearance is of sufficient importance to their life and happiness that they would bother straightening their hair.

TBH I would infinitely prefer an equality where neither men nor women where primarily judged on their appearance, rather than one where both men and women are subjected to constant feelings of shame and judgement about their bodies while cosmetic surgery soars and the cosmetics industry continues to own the keys to (un)happiness.

BonnyScotland · 09/03/2017 13:51

Toddlers and Tiaras.......

WafflingVersatile · 09/03/2017 13:52

Don't think this should be a bone of contention. I straightened my 4 year old's hair this morning as she asked whilst I was doing my own. However I've learnt that I won't be doing it again as I love her curls even though they're hard to manage. They're part of her!

Gileswithachainsaw · 09/03/2017 13:55

I occasionally straighten dds hair.

Have done very occasionally from about 4

She likes to see how long it is thats all. And sometimes when it's getting a bit ratty and needs a cut its a bit easier to manage when it's straight. She has thick wavy hair. It's not often. Just makes a change sometimes like when she has plaits instead of pony tail etc

Gileswithachainsaw · 09/03/2017 14:00

Oh and fir the record dp used to occasionally straight on his hair when it was long too.

Would anyone say anything of it was a boy spiking his hair with gel or something? Why is a girl doing anything besides looking like stig of the dump sexist?

MrsDustyBusty · 09/03/2017 14:04

Why is a girl doing anything besides looking like stig of the dump sexist?

I think the suggestion that a three year old either heat processes their hair or looks like she lives in a dump is the actual problem.

Gileswithachainsaw · 09/03/2017 14:10

I meant as soon as girls do anything with their hair there seems to be some kind of problem.

Yet it's some kind of statement when boys do the same.

Fyi dd often looks like a birds nest. Only time her hair truly behaves is when it's straightened. But obviously heat isn't good so we only do it occasionally.

notangelinajolie · 09/03/2017 14:12

If Mum wants to put her picture on FB - then it is up to her! Maybe she thought she looked pretty and wanted to share with family and friends. It's hardly something that hasn't been done before.

Its only the same as curling or putting french plaits in or braids. Some not all little girls love having their done. I had a draw full of hairclips and ribbons when they were little. My DD's all loved to have their hair curled, I didn't do it everyday but sometimes we did have time the night before to put plaits in so that it would be curly for school in the morning. I never used straighteners but then again they had straight hair!

Gileswithachainsaw · 09/03/2017 14:12

I doubt a three yr old is really caring how she looks to society. Mine would go out in a skirt jogging bottoms and a t shirt with a vest top over the top looking like a crazy bag lady who raided the bin bags outside the oxfam shop

notangelinajolie · 09/03/2017 14:14

** drawer

Trb17 · 09/03/2017 14:17

Wow @AlphaBites I'm glad my DD's dance school isn't like that. The 'littlies' on stage look too cute and beautiful to ever be washed out or need a spot of makeup.

We pay for costumes too but by crikey they come in handy when school has dress up days lol

lemony7 · 09/03/2017 14:17

Ugh, one girl at DD's nursery had full blown EXTENSIONS. She was barely 2. Completely inappropriate.

I sometimes use my straightening brush on DD's giant hair, but not often. She's 5. However, when I took her to the hairdresser recently they fully straightened her hair and she hated it. HD seemed to think it was normal to do so!

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