Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be really pissed off at childminder friend?

58 replies

OopsDearyMe · 09/03/2017 11:18

In Jan I organised for my DC to be looked after three days a week by a local childminders who is also a school run friend. All was ready to go, but she all of a sudden decided she was stopping childminding altogether and changing career. She apologised that she was unable after all to have mine.
Since then I have seen her still doing the childminding and in the last couple of weeks has now got more children than ever on her books !!!

I have been unable to find anyone else and am currently having to struggle to manage, she knows that.

Aibu to think she should of got back in contact with me, if she was carrying on, esp as she knows how hard I'm having it!

OP posts:
Snap8TheCat · 09/03/2017 11:20

It's really not advised to mind for friends and family. She's done you a favour really.

Bantanddec · 09/03/2017 11:20

As she is a friend, was she doing it as a favour or were you paying her?

alltogethernow123 · 09/03/2017 11:21

I'm sure there will be people along in a minute to tell you that yabu and she doesn't owe you any favours but I think YANBU.

I'd be pissed off too.

Have you asked her why she lied?

alltogethernow123 · 09/03/2017 11:21

Assuming you were paying her and it was a business arrangement

Beelzebop · 09/03/2017 11:22

Was it mate's rates? Maybe she's avoiding putting your prices up? I would just ask her x.

WorraLiberty · 09/03/2017 11:22

How often do you speak to her on the school run?

Does she even know how hard you're having it?

SugarMiceInTheRain · 09/03/2017 11:24

I had similar, but with a school run 'friend' who taught swimming privately. My son had been going to her for a term - she was the only teacher who had succeeded in getting him to stay in the water, then all of a sudden she 'wasn't teaching any more' though she clearly was. YANBU to feel really annoyed.

Original poster
OopsDearyMe · 09/03/2017 11:25

She was being paid full rates and not as a favour, she's a school run friend, so not a deep friendship and I only speak to her at school. But I have spoken to her about how hard it is and asked if she could let me know if she hears of anyone with spaces.

OP posts:
Snap8TheCat · 09/03/2017 11:27

Maybe your kids are a nightmare and she couldn't face telling you?

WorraLiberty · 09/03/2017 11:28

Ahh I see. Perhaps she thought you'd managed to sort something?

Might have been embarrassing for her to have to approach you and ask for your custom, once her career change plans went wrong.

Also, she might have felt as though she'd be putting you in an awkward position, if you had sorted someone else.

Beelzebop · 09/03/2017 11:30

I think you should just ask tbh, sounds odd.

JustSpeakSense · 09/03/2017 11:30

Do you think there is a reason why she doesn't want to have your DC?

Perhaps she thought you had already found alternative childcare?

FourToTheFloor · 09/03/2017 11:31

She doesn't want to mind your dc. My cm did this, told a friend of a friend she was full when she very clearly wasn't!

It's not her problem sorry.

littlefrog3 · 09/03/2017 11:31

I'd never ever use anyone I know to 'work' for me, (doing ANYthing,) let alone a friend. She has done you a favour OP.

Sorry you have been inconvenienced though. Contacting the council is probably the way forward; they should have a list of childminders...

alltogethernow123 · 09/03/2017 11:31

worra

How hard is it to say "oh I've got spaces if you're still looking."

Strange OP. Not someone who can be relied upon.

Snap8TheCat · 09/03/2017 11:41

How hard is it to say?

Maybe she doesn't want to say that? I think the cm has been very clear actually and is trying to spare your feelings.

Trifleorbust · 09/03/2017 11:42

Very, very odd behaviour. Are your kids hard work?

WorraLiberty · 09/03/2017 11:46

I don't know alltogethernow123, but nor would I assume she was lying about a career change.

The OP really needs to speak to her.

LagunaBubbles · 09/03/2017 11:48

Why havent you just asked her? Confused

KingJoffreysRestingCuntface · 09/03/2017 11:49

Are your children 'spirited'?

Wando1986 · 09/03/2017 11:52

She doesn't want to mind your kids by the sound of it. Are they a handful OP?

xStefx · 09/03/2017 11:55

Maybe the children clash? I look after my neice, she is a lovely little girl and very polite but god does my daughter and her argue- they basically bring the worse out in each other. If my sister in law didn't need the favour I would stop having her . It could be something similar

Justwantcookies · 09/03/2017 11:59

Does your kid have a 'big personality'?

Just ask her why she changed her mind

unfortunateevents · 09/03/2017 12:02

Are you sure she is not still giving up? Maybe she is working a notice period with her current children?

gillybeanz · 09/03/2017 12:02

Maybe she was just a nice mum who talked to you in the playground and not a true friend, there's a difference.

Also, she runs a business, her circumstances changed and then apparently changed again. She obviously doesn't need to market herself atm as she has enough business.
No, businesses don't need to chase up potential clients if they have enough business. She doesn't owe you anything and she can't be the only childminder in the area.

Swipe left for the next trending thread