Wanting to work instead of college

[DisneyPrincessAtHeart]

Hi everyone, so basically I don't want to go to college and I've gotten myself a job but my parents are not being supportive at all. AIBU to want to move out and go to work? ATBU saying I'm ruining my life and that I shouldn't do what will make me happy? I'm so confused and I'm in a lose-lose situation.

YANBU OP, and I really fail to see how getting paid work is screwing up your life. As others have pointed out, you can go to college later if you wish.

Take the job if it pays enough to also let you move out - just a house share would be enough. Get the qualifications your employer offer and see where it goes from there - is it an apprenticeship? The fact you recognise staying at college will have a negative impact on your MH shows you already know this is the right decision. The best way you can show your parents why this is the right choice for you is by going for it and working hard to do well.

One thing that I haven't mentioned is I may be forced by my parents to move out of it get the job so I'd need to get a home anyway. My parents get money for me and it feels they are more bothered about losing that then my happiness and what's best for me at the moment. I've even said I will go to college if I've made the wrong decision. I will confirm I am between 17-19.

*Cloudy
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It's not however it does offer quantifications. It's a £1,200 a month pay so I could move out with my OH helping me. He's supportive of me yet my parents aren't.

Do you have your gcses ? Also is the £1200 salary on fixed hours, before or after tax and ni? A lot of people get seduced into work but find they don't necessarily get the hours, pay or training they had anticipated. Maybe they feel you are missing an opportunity at college as if you leave now but decide to go back later you would have to pay fees.

That's a good wage. My DD graduated with a first and the job she got on graduating only paid £21000 as a starting wage. She has progressed a bit since then but it is wrong to think a degree will get you a high paid job.

You don't want to be reliant on a partner at this age and without having already obtained qualifications that will allow you to become independent.

Getting a degree / qualifications isn't about your starting salary, it's about the whole life cycle of your career. Are you going to find blockers in the future when you're pitted against other more qualified applicants? It is SO much easier to get qualifications whilst you're young & don't have to work - take this golden opportunity now whilst your parents are supporting you!

Sometimes parents don't know what's best. They believe their children are clones of themselves and think and act like them.

If the job looks good and the hours are there then go for it.
There is little point in turning up to a college everyday for the next 2 years if there is no interest there and you end up with no qualifications at the end. Would your parents then after college be blackmailing you into university?

Would your db have messed his life up if your parents had taken on board what he wanted to do and helped and guided him to achieve his goals

I was you. I got a job. I soon realised my mistake and asked my parents to fund me going to college the following year which is what they did, bless them. I now have a career but remember vividly the feeling of just looking at the clock which never seemed to move and knowing that I was going to be doing that, or something like it for the rest of my working life. It was the thought of actually having some money for once that led me to think I wanted to work straight from school. Get the qualifications now while you have someone willing to fund it. It's very very hard to do it after.

Moving out still may not be that easy.

My DH and I (he was DP at the time) moved out when we were 21 and 22, and despite having reasonably good combined income because of our age we needed a guarantor and my Dad had to sign for us to be accepted anywhere for rent. At age 17-19 i assume you have little to no credit rating and although the job isn't bad money you'll probably come across the same situation, so if your parents aren't on board you'll still be in a very difficult situation.

Why don't you try college, actually try not just go, and agree to reasses with your parents at the end of the school year if you still don't feel it's right for you?

You age is very relevant, if you are under 18 you should be in college Even 18 and in year 13 leaving college with no qualifications is very unwise.
How do you have a job offer of £1200 a month without qualifications?

How would your OH support you, would you move in with him?

You age is very relevant, if you are under 18 you should be in college
Not true young people between the ages of 16 and 18 should either be in full-time education, work based training or an apprenticeship with an employer or doing voluntary work with part-time education see link www.gov.uk/know-when-you-can-leave-school.
If there is training associated with the job that should be fine.
I assume that you have already taken GCSEs so have some GCSE or equivalent (level 2) qualifications.
PS I have a dd in your age group OP and we would not make her stay at college if it wasn't working out for her.

Yes I know cats, I meant the op specifically should be in college.

What sort of company offers qualifications to unskilled workers?

Ds left school after A levels and went to work even though he could have gone to Cambridge to study Maths. Admittedly I struggled with his choice but it was fundamentally his choice to make and I said I would support him regardless.
Ten years later he has a degree and a Masters and is part way through another degree course all fully funded (and completed in work time with paid time off for study) by his employer. He's part of the senior management team and earns £43k pa which is a better salary than any of his friends who went to uni earn.
It worked for him and he's very happy (and I am too) Ds was sick of school and studying he wanted to work and for him it paid off. If you are going to do the same grab with both hands every opportunity you are offered to gain qualifications though. Ds didn't mind studying too much when he could see that completing that course would mean a salary increase or open up another path on his career progression.

Floggingmolly Local Government here funds degrees and higher for employees who they identify as having potential. They are currently funding dd who also left after A levels but who doesn't work in the same field as ds.

It doesn't sound like the parents are being supportive at all, threatening to kick your child put of the house for not going to college isn't supporting them, it's bullying.
OP check the qualifications the company offers, look at what they can lead to further down the line. Have a plan set down to show them that you're not just being awkward about college.
If you have to move out then find a house share if needs be, don't be reliant on your OH. This is your time to work on your independence!

Disney, when I was your age I had the same issue. I had a weekend job in a bank and I had my eye on working my way up - full-time, team leader, then fraud. I loved it! I had no desire to become Yet Another Statistic of someone with a useless degree. I didn't want to spend thousands I didn't have; I wanted to save, learn to drive, buy a flat, invest, start earning money.

But my mother insisted it was her way, or she'd throw me out.

So, A levels. Hated. Degree. Massive waste of time. 2:1. Stuffed it in a drawer and forgot about it. Now £10,000 in debt and I maintained, via part-time and shifts, my role in banking and finance. I racked up 8 years decent experience, but how much MORE could I have achieved if I hadn't had to waste time on the world's most useless degree just so my mother could boast to her friends "she's gone to University, you know" like she was Hyacinth Bouquet and anyone in the early 00's really gave a shit.

Now I'm looking to retrain (short course) and return to work and at no point have I ever wavered in my belief the degree was a waste. It was. A. Massive. Waste. It genuinely makes me angry I was forced to do it and I am the one saddled with the debt. I never earned more than £14k a year and so have not been able to pay back a penny (repayments, for me, don't start til £15k.)

I am not confident I want my kids to go to Uni. If they have some unbridled passion to be doctors, lawyers, or something else that genuinely requires a degree then fine. But there's no way they're doing what I did, sitting on my arse attending lectures for 4 hours a week (the rest of the week being 'reading time') for a useless bit of paper delaying my adult life for years.

It is a shame they are going to bully you over this - and you might not be at all wrong that they're focusing on the benefits they will lose, because my mother said the same thing. You could consider a house-share and move out. Call their awful bluff.

Isn't this a reverse of yesterday's thread?

*Roanoke
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Thank you for you input it's helped me a lot to know I'm not the only one dealing with this

As for yesterday's thread I have no idea what it was so I cannot comment on that.

I did actually attend college but I hated it and it fucked my mental health up.

I'm not relying on my OH I'm just saying he's supporting me more and we are planning on moving in together soon anyway.

I've had multiple breakdowns because of the lack of support I'm getting from my parents who claimed they'd support me through anything.

A lot of people have asked about my current qualifications and I have my GCSE'S.

The work place only promote people who work there and do not get managers from elsewhere which gives me the opportunity to go further in my career there.

I say go for it. I went to work straight at 16 despite having 10 A stars at GCSE. Am now a senior financial analyst in banking. I got there in a round about way - worked in warehouses, call centres etc. So if you get a proper scheme it's bound to be good.

I don't understand why your parents won't back you if the job provides training for you too. I hope it is just a threat that they want you to move out and they'll see sense. Can you stay with your OH as it will be tough to get a tenancy without a deposit or even with one if you are not 18 as you cannot legally enter into a contract. Well you can but it won't be enforceable

Hi Disney. I was an absolute wreck as a teenager and dropped out of college. My parents were not pleased but were happy so long as I was doing something so I worked.

I job hopped across office jobs and it wasn't until after I had my DD that I felt I really had a grip of things and knew what I wanted to do (and that it wasn't office work.)

So at the ripe old age of 30 I did an access course and I am now at Uni.

It's not conventional, but there's no way I would have stuck it out at a younger age and it would have been a waste of money and time.

Give it a shot. If you stay living at home expect to pay digs. Or move out- maybe get some savings behind you first as its always more expensive than you imagine.

I'd let your parents read the thread as well. You're not your brother. To hold you to his mistakes is not fair.