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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask about lady gardens?

52 replies

StressedOutbyMuppets · 07/03/2017 18:06

I promise I'm no troll, and I'm asking here as I don't have such a wide audience to ask IRL...

I'm going through a divorce, but have met someone I potentially would possibly consider sleeping with at some point soon if things progress and am literally tripping myself up over wondering what's expected "down there"

Makes it worse that he's a little (not by anything scandalous) younger and has a lot more experience than me

What's "the norm" in your thirties?

OP posts:
SpreadYourHappiness · 07/03/2017 21:37

Just do whatever you're comfortable with. If he doesn't like it, that's his problem. Personally, I'm fully shaved, but thats just because I prefer it that way.

SpreadYourHappiness · 07/03/2017 21:40

Also, being fully shaved doesn't make me look like less of a woman. There's no need to be rude or offensive over other peoples choices.

kel1493 · 07/03/2017 21:42

I'm only happy with it being completely smooth. My dh had said he wouldn't mind a bit of hair down there, but I can't stand it so I shave it all off.

KC225 · 07/03/2017 21:43

Thank you Bromptoncocktail for the explanation of a 'full Judith'

Muff said

SabineUndine · 07/03/2017 21:45

I'm a bit curious: people who shave, don't you find it itches like merry hell when it grows back? I've only defuzzed myself a couple of times because off this (am not very hairy anyway).

mollymaid16 · 07/03/2017 21:47

No it doesn't itch because I shave Everytime I have a bath, I think it only itches when it grows to a certain length or longer. Or maybe I'm used to it but not it doesn't itch at all weirdly

picklemepopcorn · 07/03/2017 21:49

I think those of us over a certain age do associate the hair that comes with maturity as being a sign of maturity.
The OP feels more womanly with some hair. Which is understandable because hair comes with puberty.

It's not an insult to people who see things differently.

SpreadYourHappiness · 07/03/2017 21:49

SabineUndine Nope, shaving never makes it itchy.

QueenMortificado · 07/03/2017 21:52

I used to remove everything, for about 10 years. I'd get sort of het up at the thought of having sex with stubble or something and make excuses to have a shower or at least make sure I was ready.

Then ex-dp said he didn't care at all so I started growing just a triangle at the front. Then we broke up and I realised I didn't have to do upkeep so I grew it everywhere, just trimmed underneath and did the sides of my actual bikini line.

I've had sex with 2 guys since and literally zero comment on it. One was 24 and the other was 34. I think they were just pleased to be able to sleep with me, let alone worrying about my pubes. And they both went down on me. I really will never care again.

elQuintoConyo · 07/03/2017 21:53

Brian Blessed shouting into the night GrinGrinGrin

Thanks for that Applebite me thinks a namechange is in order!

underitoveritthroughit · 07/03/2017 21:57

I posted similarly recently.
20 year relationship ended. First time with new man.

I had asked about waxing.

I'm the end I trimmed very short and shaved round the edges.
I didn't have time to go for my first ever wax, which was the point of my thread.
I'm pretty sure the guy was oblivious and, as someone else said, was just pleased to be invited for a stroll up the garden path Wink

cookie75 · 07/03/2017 22:00

When I split from my ex, I was exactly the same.
I decided to go for a complete wax. Got rid of the lot, hurt like hell but it made me feel better.
Good luck x

PickAChew · 07/03/2017 22:02

You have down there what you want to have down there and don't spend time and effort worrying about what a potential partner might think. As long as the hedge isn't so overgrown that he'd need an axe to find the door, of course!

Nelllo · 07/03/2017 22:03

*Queen:

"I think they were just pleased to be able to sleep with me, let alone worrying about my pubes. And they both went down on me. I really will never care again."
*
^this is exactly what I think most men feel about pubes. DH concurs.

Palegreenstars · 07/03/2017 22:24

Watch Naked Attraction on 4od - will help see what others are doing!

wheatchief · 07/03/2017 22:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

VestalVirgin · 07/03/2017 22:32

I'm in my thirties and don't see a point in cutting any hair there off.

Shaved my armpits once or twice, it is a pain when it grows back.

Leave it just be as it is! Definitely don't try anything new now. You don't want to be all itchy when you are in bed with this guy.

Screwinthetuna · 07/03/2017 22:39

Myself and all my close friends and sister shave it all off.

MumsKnitter · 07/03/2017 22:45

I wouldn't want to risk razor rash in your position, so I wouldn't shave. Either trim or wax. I'm lasered and just have to pluck a few stragglers, which is a great long term solution if YOU don't like much hair. I chose to leave a small triangle, but have none on my labia as I like the feel of it so much more. Bollocks to doing that for a bloke though. It's entirely for me. I've been single for yonks.

Toocleverformyowngood · 07/03/2017 22:46

I'm 26 very nearly 27.

I am currently 34 weeks pregnant and so I don't have to mess around trying to make the line of hair perfect, I shave the whole thing off!

Once I can actually see my lady garden properly without the use of a mirror, then il start pruning it!

Toocleverformyowngood · 07/03/2017 22:50

For anyone who won't shave because it's itches when it grows back.

Unfortunately if you want to continue shaving, you will have to bear the itching that comes with it!

However, that being said, the itching goes eventually, I haven't had an issue with itching when it grows back for absolute years!!

Just have to persevere until it stops.

I can't bear the thought of having sex with a bush! I did once and oh god I was so bloody embarrassed, ex said it was fine he didn't care but not me!

I prefer that the man is fully shaved too!

AlmostAJillSandwich · 07/03/2017 22:54

I'm 27 and have shaved a grand total of twice in my entire life.
I had literally dozens of little whiteheads the day after both times, and the itching drove me insane as due to germ phobia i couldn't scratch without full on hand washing, even through clothes. I've trimmed a few times and it is preferable, but tbh, its a pain to do and not very discreet whn you live with your dad, it doesnt wash down the shower plug properly and i dont want to just put it in the bin, so most of the time it is left natural.
If/when i lose my virginity though i plan to trim it short, will never shave though.

WildBelle · 07/03/2017 22:58

Thing is - if you wax (which I do) you get about 9 days ish of baby smoothness, followed by a few days of it feeling like a hedgehog, followed by 4-5 weeks of varying lengths of regrowth because the hair grows back at different rates and you have to wait for it all to grow back before you can wax again.

So what I'm getting at is even if he's used to waxed, he'll also be used to varying states of hairiness. So on that basis, I'd invest in a bikini hair trimmer and go for the middle ground.

QueenMortificado · 07/03/2017 23:24

Watch Naked Attraction on 4od - will help see what others are doing!

That is 100% NOT representative of most men and women!!

Screwinthetuna · 07/03/2017 23:35

Btw, use an electric razor on dry hair if you want to shave it off. No rash...

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