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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think I got scammed by a man in a wheelchair?

78 replies

user1488540182 · 05/03/2017 22:03

urgh.... here is the story..
I was doing a bit of light shopping in a supermarket when out of nowhere a man in a wheelchair approached me. English was obviously not his first language and he seemed to have a learning disability. He asked for £1.90 to help pay for a ready meal and some hot cross buns he was holding on his lap. I gave him 30p loose change as I didn't have any cash on me. He looked so disappointed that he didn't have enough money, I felt so sorry for him that I offered to buy the ready meal for him. It was only £2.90 anyway. After i paid for it he asked for the receipt took the meal and barely said "thank you". i brushed it off but felt satisfied that i had helped someone in need. I finished off my shopping and decided to buy a magazine near the customer service desk when I turned around and saw the man in the wheelchair queuing up with the meal and receipt in his hand. The penny dropped then, . The thing is I used my debit card to pay for his meal. when he saw me he wheeled away. I saw the manager, and had a queit word in her ear, to not give this man a refund as it was with my debit card. He was hanging around at the exit waiting for me to go! Just makes me really mad that people can stoop so low like that. I'm going to have to be more streetwise in future...!

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 05/03/2017 22:48

My local Morrisons won't refund cash for payment made on a card, even when they fuck up enormously.

I tried to buy my DS a FIFA game for his birthday. Got to the till, payed £40 with my debit card, went to customer services where they then take the disc from a locked cabinet.

Except there was no bloody disc there and it was the last game in the shop. They apologised and said it would take a few days for the refund to reach my bank account.

I was fucking fuming because I then had to find another £40 to go and buy it from another shop Angry

feckitt · 05/03/2017 22:48

Not read the thread. Just want to say, probably.

Gingernaut · 05/03/2017 22:48

DevelopingDetritus - I was standing at a bus stop the other week, it overlooks an Asda car park, there was a man and woman scouring the car park, bushes, trolleys looking for abandoned receipts, what's that about! The only thing I could think of was stealing the item on the receipt then at least they'd proof of purchase.

It's called 'wombling'. Some supermarkets have money off vouchers which the receivers consider worthless, some have a little message telling you that they owe you some money pennies as your branded shop was more expensive there instead of somewhere else and there are always the shopping surveys (Tell us about your shopping experience, etc).

Womblers look for discarded receipts as those in bins are considered the property of the shop and to retrieve those is considered theft.

Sainsbury's get over womblers by making the vouchers specific to the loyalty card used in the transaction.

joystir59 · 05/03/2017 22:49

You were scammed by your own reaction to his disability!

WorraLiberty · 05/03/2017 22:50

No, she was scammed by a cunty scammer (if indeed she was scammed) joystir

Nice bit of victim blaming though.

DevelopingDetritus · 05/03/2017 22:53

'Wombling' right, 1k a year, wow.

IslaMann · 05/03/2017 22:55

Disabled people can be just as cuntish as able bodied people. But you did a kind thing, so don't take it personally, or feel taken advantage of. Just be thankful that you are the better person.

Nocabbageinmyeye · 05/03/2017 23:01

NotCarylChurchill thats a bit harsh, he asked for money to pay for the meal, the op paid for it full so he had full autonomy.

Seems beggars can be choosers Confused

NeedsAsockamnesty · 05/03/2017 23:03

Why is it a scam.

You were happy to use your cash to pay for his stuff why does it matter to you what he does with it after?

Foureyesarebetterthantwo · 05/03/2017 23:07

Because he didn't tell the truth. If the OP thought he was genuinely hungry, she might pay for his meal. If he'd come up and said 'can you give me £3?' she probably wouldn't have done.

Of course it matters if people lie and deceive us to gain money off us, as it makes us less trusting and willing to help out the next time.

I have been scammed by someone who forgot they'd told me their story of woe more than once, plus I've been approached by people with children in a car who had 'run out of petrol' but only offered my phone for use which was rejected. I suppose on here it's just fine to take your children for a Sunday drive and scam people for petrol, once you've given them the cash, they can use it how they like:(

shinynewusername · 05/03/2017 23:09

God forbid a homeless person actually be allowed any autonomy over what they want to spend money on.

Yes, that's definitely the mind-set of all those thoughtless bastards who give food to the homeless Hmm

Shelter and many other charities who work with the homeless recommend that you do not give cash because it can increase the risk of homeless people being financially exploited and fuels trafficking and even slavery of people forced to beg. Also, it puts the homeless at greater risk of death from drug overdoses (though of course that doesn't mean that everyone who is homeless uses drugs).

WorraLiberty · 05/03/2017 23:09

Exactly Foureyes of course it matters.

Unless telling bare faced lies has suddenly become acceptable.

Rubies12345 · 05/03/2017 23:20

It's quite possibly he was genuinely desperate for the money, and genuinely disabled. I did the same when I was 16 and living on the streets so I could pay for a shelter. Do-gooders are perfectly happy to splurge £3 on a hot drink if you, but God forbid a homeless person actually be allowed any autonomy over what they want to spend money on

Where does it say this person was homeless?

Paninotogo · 05/03/2017 23:20

He must be pretty desperate to "scam" someone out of £2.90. As others have said why were you ok to give him £2.90 in the form of a meal, but not cash? I think yabu.

RoboticSealpup · 05/03/2017 23:20

I wouldn't have cared. You'd have to pretty desperate to do something like that for £3. I'm sure he probably needed the money.

bagpackbagpack · 05/03/2017 23:21

I once asked the in house council (legal team, of a large lender) about wether or not you have to refund people on the same way they paid as a friendly question (where you don't have to write a 20 page paper to get your point across, and do the whole legal teams work fir them...) And you do not. Just makes it easer for them to track money launderes...

Now we have that out of the way, yes you was scammed op.

manicinsomniac · 05/03/2017 23:24

Yeah, sounds like you were scammed.

But don't let it put you off doing nice things.

I try and emulate the attitude of a Brazilian man I've stayed with a couple of times in Belo Horizonte. We were walking down a street once and a woman stopped him and asked for money for a bus ticket to take her sick child to hospital. He gave it to her without a second thought. After we'd moved on I said, 'how do you even know she has a child?' He replied with something like, 'I'd rather give money to a chancer than chance not giving money to someone in need.'

Of course, he's pretty affluent so can afford to have that philosophy. But it's still one I try and follow when I can.

SanityAssassin · 05/03/2017 23:27

Don't be so gullible in future. you can only be scammed if you are buying in to the story.

To quote a famous book "life is pain, and anyone that tells you differently is selling something"

melj1213 · 05/03/2017 23:37

As others have said why were you ok to give him £2.90 in the form of a meal, but not cash? I think yabu.

Did you read the OP Paninotogo? The OP didn't have any cash to cover what the guy wanted, but did have her card with which to pay for it.

I gave him 30p loose change as I didn't have any cash on me. He looked so disappointed that he didn't have enough money, I felt so sorry for him that I offered to buy the ready meal for him.

NeedsAsockamnesty · 05/03/2017 23:51

If you would view it as being scammed then just say no, regardless of the story told.

It really is that simple.

tigerdriverII · 06/03/2017 00:00

I wouldn't have cared. You'd have to pretty desperate to do something like that for £3. I'm sure he probably needed the money.

^this^

So buying him a nice fast food "meal" whether by cash or card (why the fuck the means of payment is remotely relevant I don't know) is good. But "giving" him the dosh accidentally is bad.

Give your head a wobble OP

Duck90 · 06/03/2017 00:01

but he Is still living in poverty? Unless you think he was a millionaire adding to his wealth?

Paninotogo · 06/03/2017 04:08

Yes, I did melj1213 just don't understand why the OP was so bothered that he was returning the item for the princely sum of £2.90. She should either give with good grace or not at all. The £2.90 may have made a difference to him, his life sounds pretty grim.

Purple999Red · 06/03/2017 04:17

Bottomline, be cautious of everyone you will meet. A lot of of people who looks helpless actually can do a lot of things.

RoboticSealpup · 06/03/2017 08:44

A lot of of people who looks helpless actually can do a lot of things.

Especially when they need to survive!