Charity shop rant

[blubkins]

Took a donation into the local charity shop over the weekend. The guy at the till told me to take the donation to the back. The door to the store room was open so I put it in there. Another lady came along and put a huge donation in there. Not a second later, a woman who worked in the shop came rushing to the back, shouting at us and lecturing us in a very patronising tone about not going into the back and putting our donations outside the door "because of health and safety". She was extremely rude and said to the other lady "can you please get out" tutting and in the most angry teacher type voice. I explained that the man had said to take it to the back and since the door was open I had just popped it inside (where there were loads of other bags). She insisted on explaining to us why we shouldn't have been in there and I told her back that she needs to explain that to her colleague not us as his instructions were not clear.

The other woman leaving a donation was great, she simply said to the charity shop worker that it was "fine, but please can I have my donation back". At this point the worker realised what a mistake she had made and tried to halfheartedly apologise but the other donator took her bag, left the shop and gave the donation to the other charity shop a few doors down.

I was so shocked at how rude the shop worker was and I pointed out that we were donating items and she shouldn't be so rude. It's a shame because it is a small shop that needs support and I imagine the other lady won't donate there again (and I will reconsider now).

AIBU to think that if you receive a donation you should be thankful and not abuse the people giving stuff in (wealthy middle class area where people tend to donate high quality stuff)?

DS is hugely grateful to the charity shop that took him on as a volunteer when he couldn't get a job, trained him on the tills, expected him in at 8:30 sharp, bossed him into action, wrote him a reference and allowed him first pick of the 'work' shirts for an interview - at exactly the price anyone else would have paid, by the way. He pretty much got his first retail job off the back of the experience.

He goes back to volunteer on his days off. Really hope he wasn't the gormless young chap in the OP!

People return things to charity shops that they bought but decided they don't like and expect a refund!?

I have bought a few items for teen DC on the understanding, promoted by the shop, that I can return if necessary. Also, there aren't so many now, but they used to endorse this approach when they didn't have changing rooms so it wasn't possible to try-before-you-buy.

I've encountered EXACTLY the type of rude woman the OP described in many different locations. It's usually women of a certain age working in female-dominated environments. It has nothing to do with it being a volunteer role, more to do with being old fashioned / a stickler for the "rules" / a power complex. Add in being bad tempered and ill mannered and then you get a scenario like the OP describes. And because they're a volunteer no one pulls them up on their behaviour.

I also think charity shops, by their very nature, can foster a kind of unprofessional, slightly toxic working culture. There was a Mary Portas series about revamping charity shops that showed the volunteers (retired elderly women, mostly) just sniping and griping at each other all day

Why are people reluctant to say that the rude, bossy Boots type of volunteer is an elderly female dragon, usually? Younger people and men are generally fine.

...bossy boots...

Think they thoroughly enjoying sniping and griping and judging and tutting and being a general pita. Haha

I have come across that type ,CaraAspen, but not in my shop (can only go by the shop I volunteer in), but certainly in a few other Chairty Shops over the years . Joyless, looking down their nose type.

YANBU. There is one charity shop near me that is full of tat and I never donate to it as it's well known that the manager creams off anything good for eBay. Complaints have been made but nothing is ever done (large well known charity). She's rude too.

The word is "donor" not donator!

There used to a very offhand guy in the local charity shop. One day I saw something I liked in the window, asked if it was for sale yet/could I look at it etc. Very rudely he snapped " Oh just take it out of the window yourself, we can't be bothered with every customer request"...ok fine.

So the following week when I saw a scarf in the window I liked, I just took it out of the window myself...soon as I touched it he came running over "Don't touch the displays, people spend a lot of time creating those!" His tone was so bitchy and horrible that I couldn't take it so said "Well which is it? Last time I was in you told me to help myself and not bother you again?"

To my surprise, he burst into tears and said "Yes, yes, you're right, it has to be one way or the other".

He was always really friendly after that, which I found perplexing.

Our charity shops are rubbish so we tend no to use them.
They are full of second hand primark clothes, some more expensive than they were to begin with.
I donate to our local hospice as the other charities seem to be multi millionaire businesses who can afford to pay hundreds of staff.
I know where any profits go this way.

This is why I recycle now. The ones at cash4clothes are just as bad if not worse. Always like you are putting them out not keeping them in work

At our Charity shop any nightwear from Primark or anywhere is sent to another, bigger branch who sell everything for a pound. We do not sell sleepwear , other than dressing gowns. To be frank bras and underwear are put aside for the rags man . In our one anyway.

I was thinking of using cash4clothes but after seeing mummypeepee post don't think I will now

I frequent charity shops - hunting for cheap detective stories and then recycling them. All I can say is that I can't find the rude, nasty, moneygrabbing, stock pillaging staff who are getting so many mentions. Just normal people, the majority working for free.

As mentioned above, correctly, charities get audited and monitored. If you have real concerns, the place to go is via
forms.charitycommission.gov.uk/contact-us/general-enquiries/report-a-concern-about-a-charity/raising-concerns-about-a-charity
But the point of charity shops is to raise funds for charities, not to pretend to be the local branch of Harvey Nichols.

YANBU

I took lots of nearly brand new baby clothing, a new moses basket that was never used, a brand new baby bottle steriliser and lots of other really good, new or brand new items that I could have Ebayed and got at least hundred quid for but wanted to donate instead.

The woman in the shop..... she snatched the bags off me, broke the stand for the moses basket she was that forceful, and asked me to wait as she wanted to check all the items for the steriliser were present??? It was in a sealed box with the security sticker still on it! As shes going through some of the stuff another lady came over and started going through the clothing and either approving or tutting at the quality. I told them I needed to get to an appointment so I was going and I hoped the items were ok for them but again I was told to "wait there, we need to go through the bags and pass back anything we cant sell"!!!!

In the end I politely asked for all the items back and they actually tried refusing saying because I had already handed it to them. I ended up just grabbing the bags, shoving them in the moses basket, leaving a few bits of clothing they had pawed and deemed worthy to sell and ended up Ebaying the lot as a bundle and got £150 for it all. I donated £50 to a charity and spent the rest on the kids.

I walked past there the other day and they had a jacket in the window for £30 looking a bit frayed and scraggy. I've got the same jacket and brand new it was only £25 in the sale . £30 for a jacket, in a charity shop!!!!

Gah

Well after that experience I don't blame you for not going there again . How rude and grabby they were !! Would not even dream of doing that . I take the bags, thank them (try to remember to ask if they gift aid) and nip it out the back .

They actually went through discussing items "worth" or not you took in, in your presence ? Jeez

I find that some charity shop workers shouldn't even be working there. They have a right face on them!

Some may be there though as the job centre sent them Gwilt . Don't suppose they are happy, not all of them . As I posted earlier I was sent for 8 weeks but stayed on few days a week.

TBF Rachel Ive never experienced that in another shop but a friend told me she had a similar experience at that partoicular one.

To balance it out I once charity shopped one of my kids favourite toys very much by accident . I rushed back the same day in the afternoon once my DS had very innocently asked "mummy wheres Beddy?" and it clicked what must have happened to dear old Beddy the Bear!!! He was in pride of place as part of a lovely window display with other toys from that particular range with a "Not for Sale" sign :( I went in and started telling them what had happened and actually started getting a bit teary at the thought that they would be within their rights to refuse. Not only did she give it back no questions asked, she wouldn't let me pay for it and she wrote a story abut the travels Beddy had got up to in the shop, only a couple of lines, on a bit of paper for me to give to DS in case he was upset that Beddy had been away from home :)

So thats the shop that gets all my stuff now!!

I have had some great experiences with lovely helpful staff in charity shops but I don't use the Age Concern one anymore. Everytime I went in there and tried to buy someone the lady serving would look at me with a real cats bum mouth and announce "we only just put that out!" I'd look confused and eventually say I'd like to buy it though and after tutting at me she would eventually put the sale through. Whatever I paid with was wrong. If it was a note she had no change, if I made sure I had the change she huffed and puffed about having to check it!

I'm always conscious that some people working in charity shops may have some level of invisible SN (as I know a few in the shop in which I volunteer have) so I don't really judge. They are volunteers, not staff.

Wow. Old dragons? Really?

Tbf Cara I don't imagine they feel the need to be especially nice to you if you have that attitude!

Why do they let those old dragons volunteer? THEY are the unacceptable face of the shops, imo.

We have older women in our dhops. Wouldn't describe them as dragons though. What about our older male volunteers? Are they dragons too?

You also seem to be under the impression that people are queuing up to volunteer at charity shops. Not the case.