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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Charity shop rant

220 replies

blubkins · 05/03/2017 19:18

Took a donation into the local charity shop over the weekend. The guy at the till told me to take the donation to the back. The door to the store room was open so I put it in there. Another lady came along and put a huge donation in there. Not a second later, a woman who worked in the shop came rushing to the back, shouting at us and lecturing us in a very patronising tone about not going into the back and putting our donations outside the door "because of health and safety". She was extremely rude and said to the other lady "can you please get out" tutting and in the most angry teacher type voice. I explained that the man had said to take it to the back and since the door was open I had just popped it inside (where there were loads of other bags). She insisted on explaining to us why we shouldn't have been in there and I told her back that she needs to explain that to her colleague not us as his instructions were not clear.

The other woman leaving a donation was great, she simply said to the charity shop worker that it was "fine, but please can I have my donation back". At this point the worker realised what a mistake she had made and tried to halfheartedly apologise but the other donator took her bag, left the shop and gave the donation to the other charity shop a few doors down.

I was so shocked at how rude the shop worker was and I pointed out that we were donating items and she shouldn't be so rude. It's a shame because it is a small shop that needs support and I imagine the other lady won't donate there again (and I will reconsider now).

AIBU to think that if you receive a donation you should be thankful and not abuse the people giving stuff in (wealthy middle class area where people tend to donate high quality stuff)?

OP posts:
ToadsforJustice · 05/03/2017 20:05

One of the charity shop near me will go through the donation before accepting it! I had the misfortune of having my donation rummaged through -and rejected- by a snooty woman - wearing gloves. Needless to say, I haven't returned.

Gwenhwyfar · 05/03/2017 20:05

"you will see scenes of Roman carnage as they fight over where the shirt rail will go and there was once a crowd - drawing row in the window display "

That actually sounds like fun.

allchattedout · 05/03/2017 20:06

Yeah, you need to be polite to people who are giving their stuff to you. Some charity shop workers are serious control-freaks and make you almost feel bad for donating to them. And don't get me started on the fact that they nab all the best stuff for themselves rather than putting it on the racks.

Dawndonnaagain · 05/03/2017 20:07

What a shame, I popped in with a few books to our local hospice charity shop the other day and happened to mention I was having a clear out. She asked me to let her know if I ever needed a hand moving stuff from the car. Two days later, I did, and true to her word, she beetled out, chatting away. She was lovely. I will be going back.

Cailleach · 05/03/2017 20:07

Must be something in the air, OP! I had the same experience the other day - ungrateful buggers! I promptly picked them up and walked them down to the PDSA place down the road where my items got a considerably warmer reception.

Can't do right for doing wrong etc etc

MikeUniformMike · 05/03/2017 20:07

There are at least 4 charity shops in the nearest town. When I take stuff in, I usually drop it off at the nearest. The staff are usually very pleasant and grateful, and are quite friendly. They sell stuff cheaply and it seems to fly off the rails.
There is an even better one further down the high street. I went in once and thought it was a real dump and didn't go in there for ages but have I had bargains there. The staff are friendly and helpful and you can take it back if the tag is still on and you have the receipt. I think it's an outlet as it often has good makes (Hobbs, Jigsaw, Boden etc) as well as the usual jumble.

RB68 · 05/03/2017 20:09

Give them a break - the majority are volunteers and do it FOR FREE week in and week out, they have to follow rules handed down from head office and some of them do get a bit uptight about it why because if you have people just wondering in (I mean would you do that in a shop) they get a bollocking. Not only that but people steal from these shops in just that way, they harass the staff and are rude to them when they are just trying to do their job etc.

I think you need to get off your high horse and try volunteering in a shop and see how you feel after 5 days of that

RB68 · 05/03/2017 20:11

As to nabbing the best stuff - they still have to pay for it at the going rate (again set by head office for the bigger shops) and why shouldn't they get first dibs at the fair price given what they give

fullofhope03 · 05/03/2017 20:16

Couldn't agree more RB68

OhtoblazeswithElvira · 05/03/2017 20:19

I was spoken to very rudely by the vicar of a church when trying to leave some donations for the food bank. He was really put out. I haven't been back - I now leave my donations at another collection point. I guess there was no incentive for him at all to behave with basic politeness. The house of God and all that Sad

LucklessMonster · 05/03/2017 20:20

YANBU but I'm not surprised. Volunteering of that nature seems to attract a certain type of person... the type that also seem to gravitate to GP receptionist jobs.

AtomHeart · 05/03/2017 20:21

UANBU What a nut job! I bet she has a rubbish life.

AbbeyRoadCrossing · 05/03/2017 20:24

Regarding signs up saying no more donations it's because a lot of people donate in January and the stock room is full and no more will fit in there. It's not that they are grateful for donations there's just no space.

Back to the original post - YANBU they shouldn't be rude.

NormaSmuff · 05/03/2017 20:28

Some staff/volunteers work there as a sort of work experience which might explain some behaviour but kudos to the woman who asked for her donations back

SloanePeterson · 05/03/2017 20:29

Reow, no burleigh street. Not for the first time with this lady either.

MrDacresEUSubsidy · 05/03/2017 20:31

RB68 I volunteer myself, so I know exactly what is involved - and the types of sniffy and rude members of the public that you sometimes come across. Unfortunately just because someone is volunteering doesn't make them an automatic candidate for sainthood! Volunteers can be rude, unhelpful, dishonest, patronising - just like everyone else. Fortunately the overwhelming majority of volunteers that I meet and deal with, are friendly and helpful and welcoming - because they know that we are reliant on the public's goodwill for donations and also their patronage in choosing our shop rather than someone else's.

londonrach · 05/03/2017 20:33

Yanbu. Im another person who refusing to enter one charity shop due to horrible person at the back. I cant gift aid as im self employed as my tax return is already complicated enough without dealing with gift aid. I also know my mums friend had to pay £20 to the tax man as she didnt pay enough tax for the year and her donation meant she paid to donate. Nasty lady spent 10 minutes telling me how horrible i was to not gift aid. (Oxfam).

skibeck32 · 05/03/2017 20:36

There are a few charity shops in Cambridge like this. I found the Oxfam book shop quite sniffy about my donations. Probably because they weren't an illuminated manuscript....

Mummyme1987 · 05/03/2017 20:38

I lost faith in one of our charity shops when my hubby took a box of stuff in, as soon as he got back to the car he realised he had put a lamp in the box by accident, he was supposed to be dropping the lamp at my brothers instead (it was a special daylight lamp). He immediately went back and asked about it. The volunteer denied it was there, when hubby remembered very clearly it was in the box as he had to put the plug end back into the box as it was dangling as he passed it over. It wasn't more than 5 minutes and they just denied it was there. He said he could see all our stuff in the back room turned out of the box. The lamp had gone. It wasn't in the shop and nothing else of ours had been put out. I'm convinced one of the volunteers put aside for themselves. It looked like they had gone through the stuff to get the good stuff. I just hope they put a contribution in the till.

RachelRagged · 05/03/2017 20:38

Well said RB68

CaraAspen · 05/03/2017 20:38

RB68

Give them a break - the majority are volunteers and do it FOR FREE week in and week out, they have to follow rules handed down from head office and some of them do get a bit uptight about it why because if you have people just wondering in (I mean would you do that in a shop) they get a bollocking. Not only that but people steal from these shops in just that way, they harass the staff and are rude to them when they are just trying to do their job etc.

I think you need to get off your high horse and try volunteering in a shop and see how you feel after 5 days of that

No, people who behave so rudely and ungratefully when people are actually trying to help a charity, do not deserve "a break".
If they do not like working in a job - or volunteering - which involves being polite to the public, then they should get out and let nicer people do the job properly.

Mummyme1987 · 05/03/2017 20:40

And they aren't supposed to take electrical either. Hubby did enquiry if it had been thrown away. But they denied it had ever been there.

RachelRagged · 05/03/2017 20:40

londonrach , that's terrible .

I hate asking if people are registered for gift aid and on occasion totally forget to ask.

RachelRagged · 05/03/2017 20:42

Mummyme , in the shop I volunteer in we don't take electrical to sell there . we have to send it to another , larger store where they test it.

In the OPs case I think the volunter was BU . If you were told to put them there then the natural thing to do is put them there.

Mummyoflittledragon · 05/03/2017 20:44

Can we put this into context you gave stuff for free, which takes a short amount of time. These people are giving up their time. For free. It's sad they're rude but it must be stressful for them because they often get treated like shit.

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