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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be furious with dh.

35 replies

HappyHannah24 · 05/03/2017 11:17

My dd and ds and dss and dss2 went paint balling with dh yesterday and my son got shot in a rather sensitive area for boys.

My dh and dss didn't treat it seriously when my ds was in pain and instead started sniggering at him and telling him to man up. When they got home ds told me about it and his bits were swollen so I decided to take him to a and e and ds had a testicular torsion. This I'm told is extremely painful and serious ds could have lost his right testicle. We don't know if the tissue has been damaged or not.

I am furious aibu .

OP posts:
haveacupoftea · 05/03/2017 11:19

God I don't think you are. What age is he? adds paintballing to list of things DS isn't allowed to do before he's even born

andontothenext · 05/03/2017 11:19

YANBU in the slightest

Was he shot there on purpose?

Laughing at him was childish and verging on bullying.

They both sound like arse holes

TyneTeas · 05/03/2017 11:21

Separate it out a big. Are you angry that he was shot or their reaction or that they didn't seek medical attention earlier. How long after did you see him. Was the swelling immediate

TyneTeas · 05/03/2017 11:22

a bit (not big)

littlefrog3 · 05/03/2017 11:22

I've been paintballing a few times and DAMN those things sting when they hit you: even with the protective gear on!

Your husband is a dick for laughing at his son/your son.

Being hit in the doo-dahs could have caused him an injury. What as asshole your husband is! I feel paintballing is not a place for kids - depends on their age though.

I would be tempted to take your lad to the docs to have him checked over.

littlefrog3 · 05/03/2017 11:23

What AN asshole he is, not 'as.' Why has mumsnet bot got an edit feature?!

allchattedout · 05/03/2017 11:23

Are you the poster who has posted numerous times about your dickish DH and stepkids who pick on your DS and leave him out of stuff?

YANBU by the way. YABU if you are the poster I am thinking about, in which case you really need to leave your DH as things will never improve.

endofthelinefinally · 05/03/2017 11:24

Your dh is an idiot and very irresponsible. He was the adult in charge and behaved like a silly child.

Original poster
HappyHannah24 · 05/03/2017 11:26

He's 17 as are dh two sons (twins). He wasn't shot in that area on purpose I'm not angry that he was shot their in angry it was not treated seriously by dh.

OP posts:
hesterton · 05/03/2017 11:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Fairylea · 05/03/2017 11:31

If your ds was in obvious distress then your dh was an arse.

littlefrog3 · 05/03/2017 11:33

Did I seriously just put BOT instead of NOT. sigh.... Wish mumsnet would have an edit feature. Even if it's just there for a few minutes to allow you to fix typos...

haveacupoftea · 05/03/2017 11:34

Hmm ok 17 is a bit different I thought he was a young child...DH still an idiot though.

HiggeldyPiggeldy · 05/03/2017 11:39

really nasty laughing sounds like bullying to me, hope your dh and dss have apologised

hope ds is ok, it sounds really painful

TalkingofMichaelAngel0 · 05/03/2017 11:40

Would he have treated your dd getting shot and being in pain differently?

I dont want to do an advance search butbyes if you are the same poster as mentioned above dh is a jerk.

HumphreyCobblers · 05/03/2017 11:43

It is really scary when you are in pain and people who should be helping you laugh at you instead.

Your poor ds. I hope they feel properly guilty now they realised how mean they were to an injured child.

FurryLittleTwerp · 05/03/2017 11:47

I think it's really unlikely that being shot in the goolies actually caused the torsion, but the resulting pain would have meant the pain from the torsion was overlooked to begin with.

Jaxhog · 05/03/2017 11:52

Bet your DH wouldn't have thought it so funny , if HE'd got shot there. He sounds rather irresponsible.

Biscusting · 05/03/2017 11:53

There's an easy solution, smack DH hard in the balls and laugh at him.
Not only will you be doing a service to humanity by preventing further breeding, but he'll maybe, just maybe learn a little empathy.

SookiesSocks · 05/03/2017 11:53

Being shot in the balls hurts....alot and their reaction at the time was quite ladish and typical but not awful.
Your DH would not have known about any swelling and there was no blood so would have assumed the pain would ease.

You DS is 17 and once he realised there was swelling alerted you and you got him medical attention.
I dont see how your DH is to blame as the swelling would not have been imnediate so how could he act on it?

Do you think his reaction would have been the same had it been his DS? If so then YABU.

highinthesky · 05/03/2017 11:56

I agree that your DH behaved like a total asshole and not a responsible parent. You need to come down on him hard for this, although as a 17 yo DS might not need that much supervision. (I use the same approach with my dad and his young GD - he seems to think her sticking fingers into his plug sockets and a whole host of other disasters-in-waiting are fine as long as he is "watching her").,

But I also highly doubt that the torsion was the result of an injury, pretty certain it was there before. And yes it can be a medical emergency so I'm glad that you took DS to A&E.

DenimChicken · 05/03/2017 11:59

Unless he asked to look at your 17 year olds ballsack he had no way of knowing it was swollen and may need medical attention.

Wellitwouldbenice · 05/03/2017 12:05

What have they said since they found out it was serious?

shitonit · 05/03/2017 12:09

Suggest you go again and see how funny he thinks it is when you shoot him in the balls.

ExitStage · 05/03/2017 12:18

Blokes normally laugh when someone gets hit in the balls. It's always funny if it's not you. Watch cricket and you'll see someone get hit in the balls and even at international level his team mates will all be grinning.

Are you sure that this isn't just a case of you looking for something to have the hump with your husband about? Possibly more symptomatic of a relationship in trouble than anything.