Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Winning when not your party

97 replies

Hashtagwinner · 04/03/2017 12:07

Dropped dd off at a birthday party (was games based, think bowling/paint ball/football type thing) the other day for a birthday party. DH and I don't drive and venue isnt near home or anyyhing much so we stayed. The venue wasn't booked out so we joined in the game (paying for entry) and played with the guests and members of public.

I came out top against everyone who was playing (both the kids at the party and random members of the public)

DH says I shouldn't have tried so hard and should have let the kids win. AIBU to think I paid so should just play as I normally would?

OP posts:
WateryTart · 04/03/2017 14:47

I think you shouldn't have joined in at all. Very rude.

But to win? Spiteful.

Iamcheeseman · 04/03/2017 14:50

You joined in? Is your DD still speaking to you?
Whether open to the public or not that's weird.

helpmeplease2045 · 04/03/2017 15:03

Ha this is great. My son would me mortified if I joined in at the party, but ye why shouldn't you be in it to win it seeing as how you paid! YANBU.

Notso · 04/03/2017 15:09

Age of children and the activity make a big difference to whether this is ok or not IMO.

Original poster
Hashtagwinner · 04/03/2017 15:11

Not a reverse etc just name changed. Kids were primary school age.

OP posts:
SantanaBinLorry · 04/03/2017 15:17

Then shame on you. Poor kids.
Competitive people are boring.
You might feel pleased with your self, but you've almost certainly embarrassed your child and made a show of yourself to the party parents. Good work, but at least you won hey! Worth it?

5moreminutes · 04/03/2017 15:25

Why the ambiguity about the activity? "think bowling/ football/ paintball" is meaningless drivel - the activities have nothing in common and the only one of the 3 it could have been is paintball unless it was the world's weirdest party.

Is your DD desperately embarrassed?

GeorgeTheHamster · 04/03/2017 15:26

I think it was laser quest.

Original poster
Hashtagwinner · 04/03/2017 15:51

I name changed as I didn't want to out myself - same with ambiguity re activity Hmm

OP posts:
Floggingmolly · 04/03/2017 15:56

If any of your child's friends parents are reading, you've just outed yourself anyway. That was a spectacularly strange thing to do.

Floralnomad · 04/03/2017 16:00

The only thing it could be is a paint ball / laser quest type thing and I find it bizarre that an adult would try to beat a bunch of primary aged children , you should have just sat and had a coffee like normal people .

NerrSnerr · 04/03/2017 16:00

You need to tell us the game to decide though, if laser quest then although it's embarrassing for your child that you joined in I think it's hard to know if you're going to win or lose. If bowling or go carting I think you're embarrassing and should have let them win.

KoalaDownUnder · 04/03/2017 16:01

I had a whole-body cringe just reading the OP.

Bluntness100 · 04/03/2017 16:01

Kids were primary school age.

Astro55 · 04/03/2017 16:02

It's hardly at fair competition winning against kids - it was a party!

Glad you're pleased with yourself - because the other parents will think you're a twat and you DD won't get mother invite

Original poster
Hashtagwinner · 04/03/2017 16:05

There were other adults playing so it wasn't just DH and I against a bunch of kids. As I said, the game was open to the public not just the party. No, the other adults didn't let the kids win either, had I not won another adult would have.

OP posts:
MilkTwoSugarsThanks · 04/03/2017 16:07

I think it's seriously weird tbh. Playing to win against a group of primary aged children? Well, duh. Still, it'll be good for gossip and sniggering at the school gates for a while.

TheNameIsBarbara · 04/03/2017 16:10

If it's laser quest ( and I strongly suspect it is due to other adults being allowed to play) then I think you were fine to play properly and win.

So YANBU, with laser quest you aren't able to gauge your position until the game finishes.

It's not like any other time of game where you could have easily beat just the party children, then you would be unreasonable.

TheNameIsBarbara · 04/03/2017 16:10

type not time!

Marcipex · 04/03/2017 16:13

So you gate crashed a party your dd was attending?
Isnt your dd cringing?

Floggingmolly · 04/03/2017 16:13

It being open to the public doesn't make it any less weird that you joined in with the guest list of a little kid's birthday party. It really doesn't...

cheeeeselover · 04/03/2017 16:19

It's weird. Tell us the game and you might be able to redeem yourself, though there's nothing I can of that would make this situation normal .

BackforGood · 04/03/2017 16:24

Of course YABVU

This, that Gwen said at the top of the page :

^I would have been mortified if my parents decided to join in rather than drink coffee and look disinterested. Being so competitive that you won is just the icing on the uninvited-to-participate-but-muscling-in-anyway-cake. I cannot imagine in what universe, this seemed like a good idea.
fgs take a book with you next time you have to stay at a party venue or your DC will never be invited out again.^

Can't believe you thought it was a good idea.

Iamastonished · 04/03/2017 16:24

It sounds like Laserquest. Unless it is a huge party with everyone playing being guests or you can afford to have a private booking you have no control over who you play against. DD went to a 13th birthday party and played against a team of 30 something young men on one occasion.

Dahlietta · 04/03/2017 16:28

the other adults didn't let the kids win either, had I not won another adult would have

I don't really get whether you're being unreasonable or not as I don't understand what went on, but it doesn't sound like a fun party.