Can't get over the past.

[Hiam]

Around about ten years ago I slept with someone I shouldn't. I was very young at the time and thought he genuinely loved me and that it made me a grown up. The fall out afterwards was massive and has affected my confidence greatly. All this time later I feel hugely guilty about it.
A few days ago I was on Instagram and one of his children came up on the explore option. Since then I haven't been able to sleep of eat, I feel so guilty around my DH because I feel like he can tell I did something wrong. I have never really told him about what happened as I feel so ashamed of what I did. Any tips on how I can move on will be greatly appreciated. I feel so weary from this weighing me down.

You said you were subjected to scrutiny/abuse from his wife and her friends/family. Given that you were below the age of consent, they had absolutely NO GROUNDS to hound you (hell, that stands even if you were old enough!). It was her husbands fault and constitutes sexual assault (at the very least).

You were a child. Children don't make rational decisions sometimes - no matter how 'grown up' they feel in the moment. That is why the age of consent is there - protected in Law.

As rotten as you feel inside, you have to forgive yourself and you have to let this go. You were not at fault. Bottom line.

To unleash yourself of this burden, I would advocate some counselling before you tell your partner. At least go and talk it through with someone.

Fundamentally, this is something that happened that cannot be changed. No matter how much you'd like to. You have already conceded you did it to be 'grown up' in his eyes. He, bottom line, took advantage when as an adult, he should have protected you by walking away.

You have NOTHING to be ashamed of. x